


enemy love

by AmandaBecker



Series: second chances [3]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker - Freeform, Emotions, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Filming, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Love, Misunderstandings, Sensuality, Sexual Tension, Sidlotte - Freeform, Suffering, True Love, Unrequired Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, grumpy Sidney, movie star, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 77,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaBecker/pseuds/AmandaBecker
Summary: modern AU.Sidney Parker is a movie star who tries to keep his co-stars at a distance, but is then taught a better lesson while shooting his last film.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Mary Parker/Tom Parker (Sanditon)
Series: second chances [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629343
Comments: 440
Kudos: 507





	1. What happened to you?

**Author's Note:**

> this is the third part of the # 6 days of Sanditon Valentines challenge by @sanditoncreative  
> prompt 'Enemies to lovers'.
> 
> The idea was born during a chat with my friends from the sanditon sisterhood.
> 
> I don't know much about making films, but I watched interviews and I hope I have presented it realistically enough.

When he couldn't stand the ringing of his mobile phone any longer and saw 'fifteen missed calls' on the display, he accepted his brother's sixteenth call and moaned annoyed  
"Tom, I'm on my way." He took his suitcase off the conveyor belt and walked with long steps towards the exit.  
"Let me find a taxi and I'll be home."  
"Why don't you come by the studio?"  
"Tom, I just landed..."  
"You might as well meet everybody." The thought of meeting the whole crew now and putting a good face on the matter made his mood sink even deeper.  
"But for hours I've been..."  
"Sidney, we can start first thing in the morning."  
After a deep breath to keep his temper in check, he said a simple  
"see you in a minute." and hung up.

His thoughts kept going round and round. He finally had to stop putting his own desires behind him and always let everything stand and lie when Tom had another problem. Actually, he wanted to stop all this crap years ago. But since his contracts prevented him from doing so, it dragged on. Now he was finally free and ready to retreat and there came the cry for help from his brother. Not only did he need his money to finally be successful with a project, for once. But now the male leading actor had jumped out.

Before his departure from Rome, they had already briefly discussed a few details, he didn't mind working with newcomers. He liked to give young talent a chance, as long as they left him alone. He didn't want to relive that filth, like back then with Eliza and her forced paparazzi photos and the rumors about a real relationship. Because of this crap he just didn't feel like making good friends with these stupid girls, they all just wanted to have a piece of the cake and use his fame to pave their way to Hollywood. This movie for his brother would be his last job as an actor and then he could finally do what he had wanted for so long. 

When he waltzed through the first door of the studios half an hour later, he bumped into someone.  
"Oh shit!" he yelled as a hot liquid burned into his skin.  
"Sorry, I'm so sorry. Oh dear!" shouted a young woman who then tugged at him and rubbed against his shirt as if she could wipe away the pain and broth with her hands alone. But somehow she made it worse and he found the heat and her closeness...irritating.

"That's enough!" he grumbled and shoved her off. He looked down at himself and cursed. He hadn't been that pissed off in a long time. After the exhausting last few days, the flight, and then this annoying project, it was overflowing the pot.

"Haven't you got eyes in your head?" he took off his jacket cursing.  
"Are you blind or stupid?" he cried, and big brown eyes stared at him in horror.  
He lost himself in their sight for a moment. They were pretty, chocolate brown, with small even darker speckles, framed by incredibly thick black lashes. He noticed beautifully curved eyebrows, but between them was a disturbing little wrinkle. 

"Neither." she said calmly.  
"What?" he asked distractedly. Shit, what was going on now?  
"It was unintentional, I've apologized a thousand times, but you probably didn't hear that because of your cursed shit."  
"Yeah, right." he narrowly gave back and then just left her standing as he made his way towards Tom.

After he had discussed the details with Tom and got a rough overview of the financial condition, his mood was at an absolute low point. When Tom briefly left the room, he put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths. He needed a coffee before he could face the crew and colleagues. He heard the door open and someone enter the room. When he looked up briefly, he saw his sister-in-law Mary with a pretty girl at her side. On closer inspection he recognized the young woman from earlier who had poured the cocoa over him. What grown woman drinks cocoa? The shirt was ruined. He shouldn't have cared, but he did. But not really. He was confused.

"Mary!"  
He stood up and greeted her warmly. He glanced briefly at the young woman, who did not move an inch away, and gave her a quick glance.  
"Could you bring me a coffee, please, black?"  
She looked at him with a curious look. Without waiting for an answer, he added,  
"Cool. Thanks."  
"Sidney!" cried Mary, "This is Charlotte."  
He looked at her irritated, because it almost sounded as if he must know who that is.

"So, now you finally meet the ’love of your life’." Tom excitedly shouted as he entered the room behind the two women.  
Sidney joked "I thought she was rather tiny" and looked expectantly at the door.  
But the laughter stuck in his throat when he understood that this Charlotte in front of him was the Charlotte Tom had been raving about on the phone. In his mind he had called her a stupid brat and now she was his film partner. He moaned with resignation, but could barely suppress an annoyed eye roll. 

She narrowly pinched her lips together and suddenly looked so young. She stood there like a young girl, the long sleeves of her pollover almost covering her hands and the superimposed feet suggested that she was quite insecure. He had probably intimidated her with his outburst earlier. That's good. He really didn't want some young thing to go back to being a friend just to get attention. However, they had to work together and a certain amount of politeness was in order.

He clenched his jaws together and reached out his hand to her, which she hesitantly took. The jolt that went through his body when they touched, made him withdraw his hand immediately. Irritated, he looked at her. She stared at her hand as if it had burnt herself.

"So Charlotte, this is Sidney. Sidney, this is Charlotte, the newcomer I was telling you about." The two looked at Tom in embarrassment. 

Charlotte's heart was pounding in her throat. She had known who Sidney Parker was, of course she did. Everyone knew him. The movie star from Hollywood. Everyone knew that he was another producer who invested in his brother's movie and that his famous name would give the little project the attention it deserved. She was so excited to work with him. Just what she could learn from him... but all she had learned so far was that he was a jerk. 

Mary involved Tom in a conversation, and Charlotte and Sidney stood together in uncomfortable silence. Not good at keeping quiet for long, Charlotte tried to apologize again.  
"I dont’t wanted..." she said, pointing to his shirt. However, she immediately regretted having said anything, for his eyes flashed nastily as he answered her stiffly.  
"I don't really care what you wanted."  
"I apologized, it was unintentional." were those tears glistening in her eyes?  
"It's okay." he rowed back, but his voice was rougher than expected and that made his answer so rude.

'Well, that could be cheerful,' Charlotte thought. She couldn't imagine how the two of them could play a yearning pair of lovers when he so obviously didn't like her. How superficial of him to act insulted after the accident with the cocoa. But it was probably his way of keeping colleagues at a distance. Mary had meant something about bad experiences in the past.

But that shouldn't stop her from enjoying her first leading role to the fullest. No matter what he did, she would try to give everything. And to play her part with fervor and passion. The trouble with him might even be helpful. He was an eerie fit for the role of the dashing, mysterious hero. Tall, broad and dark. Incredibly handsome he was, but it was mainly his arrogant and rough manner that made him perfect for the role.

What upset her a bit was not only the fact that he was much prettier in real life than in all the photos and films, but that she would have her first kiss with him. Although she was already twenty-two, she had never been kissed. She had never imagined that her first time would be a kiss in a movie, but that's how it was. Between school, dance training and smaller roles in the theatre and for television, she hardly had time for her friends, let alone boys. She had resigned herself to this for quite some time and had been going crazy ever since she found out who would play her partner in the film. After all, it was Sidney Parker! But probably it was better that they didn't like each other, then she wouldn't be in danger of developing real feelings.

*

The shooting continued and Charlotte soon realized that Sidney had a nice relationship with everyone on the set. Everyone except herself. When they sat together as colleagues or went to a pub in the evening, they avoided each other as much as possible. They only talked to each other as much as necessary and generally avoided being alone. Once she had overheard a conversation in which Tom asked Sidney about the tension between them and Sidney simply answered he would be the distance to make the tension in front of the camera look more real.

When he was on the set, everyone buzzed around him like moths the light. He was funny, charming, polite and helpful. Whenever she came along, there was a noticeable change in the air. He was polite, but avoided having any closer contact with her or asking anything personal. Mostly he apologized and disappeared until their scene was to shot. Because of the frustration this caused in her, the argument scenes were very liberating. There she could vent her anger, even if she had to use the words from the script.

But there were also always little misunderstandings between them. One time he had brought two cups of coffee and she had mistakenly thought that one was for her. It was the first time he grumbles at her while others were around. Shocked, an awkward silence fell over the set. And though Charlotte struggled hard with herself, she didn't start crying in front of him. She was so angry, though, that she couldn't stop staring at him. Her blood was rushing in her ears, so she couldn't hear if he'd apologized. It wasn't until Susan the adorable stylist broke the mood.

"Oh, we have to look at that again, there's something wrong with the hem," and with these words she fiddled with Charlotte's costume, blocking her view of Sidney. He was glad someone had finally gotten in between them, or he wouldn't have been able to hold himself back. To do what? He wasn't sure. He got more and more confused when they were working together. Those clothes she has to wear didn't necessarily help to keep his pulse down. His blood seemed to boil over every time she came out of styling and wore a dress like that. How did men survive this back in those days?

But since the incident, he hadn't afforded anything and was as polite to everyone as ever and also to Charlotte. Now that the more difficult scenes were about to begin, Charlotte had been trying to talk to him for days. But she somehow didn't manage it. Every time she saw him alone, he would look at her as if he was totally annoyed or said he had to leave. Charlotte just wanted to ask him for advice, after all the scenes were somehow intimate, at least for her and she had the feeling that this tension between them wouldn't help to make it look natural. Sidney didn't seem to think that was necessary, though. He avoided her as much as he could.

Before going to an outside location the next morning, she wanted to take her chance and talk to him after she had changed. When she wanted to knock on his door, she accidentally overheard a fight between the two brothers.

"Tom, I told you I didn't want anything to do with her."  
"But she can bring in so much."  
"No, she can't."  
"Think again, the press alone..."  
"No, Tom. No way."

Charlotte's mind was running wild, was he talking about her? Did he not want to work with her anymore? But that would be crazy, the movie was almost finished. Tears came to her eyes, but she shook off the thought that it would be too late to change anything.  
She took another breath and raised her hand to knock when the door was opened. Frozen in her movement she stared Sidney Parker in the face. He was annoyed and not happy to see her there, that was obvious. His eyebrows furrowed together and his gaze became icy cold.

"You?" he asked annoyed.  
"I just wanted to..."  
"What?"  
"I wanted to talk to you about something."  
Silently he stared at her.  
"If you have a few minutes?"  
"I think we'll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow on the drive" he replied brusquely, leaving her standing once again.

Sidney was angry. He thought that was the greatest mockery. At the beginning of his career, he had the good fortune to do this series. A small supporting role was played by the model and "It Girl" Eliza Campion. She was an arrogant chick who, through ambiguous remarks in interviews, made the whole world believe that the two had a secret relationship. She had even hired paparazzi to take intimate photographs. At the time, he wondered why she suddenly kissed him on the cheek at lunch and embraced him intimately as he said goodbye.

Until he saw the pictures. 

But they weren't the worst. After she supposedly dumped him for that rich prick, the press showed photos of him...crying. In the arms of his siblings. Nobody cared back then that these were pictures taken after his father's funeral. It was only when he gave an interview about the events that it was forgotten. The rumors about the alleged relationship held up well. Although he had always denied the rumors and also admitted to Eliza in later interviews that there never was a relationship, she always made it sound as if there was a relationship.The whole thing had demoralized him.  
And since then, all relationships had broken down at the very beginning. He stayed away from female colleagues or crew members, but the normal women were so intimidated by the press that they usually left after the first date. But somehow it was also ok for him. Sidney hadn't realized that he was longing for love and permanence. Until... recently. And it completely threw him off balance. She threw him off balance.

Annoyed by the whole situation, Charlotte tried the next day just to concentrate on herself and get in the mood. As she felt sick when she read on the bus, she only had her headphones on and listened to music while she played through the scenes in her head that were to be finished in the next days.

She did not notice Sidney watching her from his seat across from her. He had learned her little tricks early on. Before emotional scenes, she retired and put herself in the mood with appropriate music. The footage of her playing the heartbroken, longing woman had moved even him to tears, it seemed so real. Whether she had had a bad experience once? Who should leave or hurt such a magical girl? Well, he wasn't exactly nice to her either. But it was her, she was so... she was so...

She was so special. Not only was she warm and accessible. She also felt what her counterpart needed. He had often seen her in deep embrace with her colleague, who played her sister. And her laugh. Oh boy! It was so...magical. Everyone had to laugh along and you could just feel that she was so real and down to earth. She was natural and pure. 

Maybe a little naive to choose this particular profession where everything was fake. He had been worried until he found out that she already had a plan for her future. And, strangely enough, it was not so far from his own dreams. It was the first time he let his mind wander. And it really hadn't been that clever. Charlotte. She distracted him.

After they arrived in the sleepy nest and moved into their rooms in the hotel, Charlotte rested on her bed. There would be a night shoot tonight and she wanted to arrive on set fresh and rested as usual. There was a knock at the door. She jumped up from the bed and opened it, and saw Sidney Parker standing in front of the door, who looked at her briefly and then turned away from her as if he couldn't stand the sight of her.

"Tom wants to talk to us about something," he said succinctly.  
"Okay." She went back to her room to put on her Chucks and caught a glimpse in the mirror. Oh shit! No wonder he turned away. She blushed and reached for the wide sweater she had thrown on her bed earlier. She put it on while hurrying to the door.

Sidney stood in the hallway with his eyes closed and tried to collect himself. He would not forget the sight so quickly, but he had to bury it deep inside with all the other pictures of her. She really had a body to kneel down. The tight white top really left nothing to the imagination. And the red bra flashing out from underneath it only made things worse. She was fucking sexy. Even the sight of her now made her all the more adorable.  
Such a crap!

The oversized sweater made her seem small and vulnerable, but her breathlessness and the flushed cheeks made his thoughts drift off in a dangerous direction. Her wild curls stood out in all directions and he couldn't help himself, he had to smooth her hair. At the touch her eyelids fluttered. Had she felt the same? There was a strange movement in the air. He could almost hear it crackle. Sidney's hand remained on her hair and only when a loud 'ping' drew her attention to the floor did he let go of her.

Charlotte picked up her ancient key and closed her room door. Without another word, they went down the hall to Tom's room. Sidney had buried his hands in his pockets so as not to reach for her again, but couldn't help but give her a curious look now and then. She stared at the floor and said nothing. He had the feeling he should say something.

"What did you want to talk to me about yesterday?" Why his voice sounded so scratchy, he didn't know, but it irritated him.  
"Erm yes,...er, nothing." Charlotte stuttered without looking at him.

Uh-oh, that was not good. No! He didn't like her, why had he straightened her hair? Why did it feel good? Why did she feel so strange? Why did it flipped in her stomach?  
Oh shit, she knew exactly what it meant. She wasn't stupid. And this now, before these scenes came! Please let it just be the weird mood and the romantic scenes they would shoot now. Surely she hadn't fallen in love. Or? No! Not with a man like him.

"There you are!" cried Tom as they arrived at his room.  
"Good, good. Come on in."  
He pointed the two of them to take a seat on the small sofa. On the table in front of them was a laptop and Charlotte already had an inkling of what was to come. Because before important scenes he had always shown them a showreel with examples of how he wanted the scene or what he found fascinating about one or the other mood.

"Sit back and watch the clip I made you."  
"What is this?" asked Sidney with his characteristically furrowed brows.  
"This, my dear brother..." Tom wavered in front of the screen, "are the best kissing and love scenes in movie history."  
Alarmed, Sidney first looked at his brother and then at Charlotte, who had lowered her gaze to pick an imaginary lint from her trousers. There was no way he could watch love scenes with her. No. No way!

"We don't need that." it took him away harshly, and he was just about to get up when Tom pushed him back into his seat, saying only absent.  
"I'm not asking you to re-enact it, but to capture the mood so your transformation is believable."  
"What do you mean?" Again he looked at Charlotte, but she still kept her gaze lowered and now also bit irritatingly on her lip.  
"Well, your chemistry in fighting and yearning is excellent, but tonight..."  
Charlotte finally looked up. For a moment her gaze wandered to Sidney, then she stared again at the screen in front of her.  
"What's tonight?" she muttered, they had only planned the forest scene today or had Tom changed something again?  
"Tonight, I want the cameras to explode with overwhelming sexual tension."

Sidney watched as Charlotte's eyes widened and he felt as if he was slowing his brother down.  
"Tom. I told you we didn't need this."  
"But..."  
"No. Let's not be confused by iconic examples of erm... erm..."  
"Sidney, all I wanted was..."  
"Tom." The sound of the name sounded like 'stop now'. And Sidney stood up and grabbed Charlotte's hand. It was warm and a pleasant feeling crept up his arm as he pulled her towards the door. He let go of her and immediately felt the physical loss. He closed his eyes briefly before turning back to his brother.

"Even without this," he pointed to the computer, "it will be there..."  
Tom didn't seem convinced at first.  
"...the looks and the sexual tension" his voice was shaking "believe me."  
"Oh." Tom recognized that particular look in his brother's eyes.  
"I had no idea."  
Sidney stroked his hair in embarrassment, "Neither did I."

With this he left the room and closed the door behind him. Shit. There she was. Magical and irritating, she looked at him.  
"what is it?"  
"Nothing. I erm..." he looked at his watch "I think we should be going." And then he was gone again. With a sigh Charlotte wished for the day and the production would finally be over.

Two and a half hours later, Susan was tugging at her costume. It fit perfectly, and yet there was something wrong with it. Although she usually enjoyed talking to Susan, she couldn't concentrate on anything at the moment. When she was finally finished and got out of the styling bus to go to the set, Sidney was waiting for her. Oh, boy. The way he looked, that really ought to be illegal.  
His hair was dishevelled, his shirt undone at the collar. The sleeves of his crumpled shirt were rolled up, showing his shapely forearms. His trousers and boots were already smeared with dirt to make it look credible that he had run through the forest. Charlotte's heart was beating wildly as he looked at her so penetratingly and she tried to calm herself with breathing exercises.

"Everything okay?" he asked in a warm voice and the flutter in her stomach she simply attributed to the situation, not to him.  
"Yeah sure, why not?" Now he didn't have to suddenly act all nice. She hoped the scene was quickly done, she had to get away from him as fast as possible.

While she was being directed to the exact spot, Sidney couldn't help but look at Charlotte. She was very nervous. Not only that she was chewing her lip, which everybody could see, and especially the make-up department always jokingly told her not to always eat her lip gloss. No he had noticed early on that she clenched her left hand into a fist and let her thumb roll over her index finger. Three times. Then she opened her fist, as if to prevent herself from being nervous, she stroked the dress.  
Finally they were there. The director and the camera crew, light and sound were all in position. The make-up was checked again, Charlotte's hair was sprayed with water again, after all it should look as if she had been caught in the rain. Susan tugged at her dress one last time and then the filming finally started. They had the first scene quickly, it was all about her coming up from the squat when he came closer and called her name.

The second scene was already more difficult, because he had to pull her behind him and she should stumble. Since Charlotte stumbled wrong, too early or too late, they had to get the scene a few times. Nobody was annoyed, only in Sidney the tension slowly began to spread again. Charlotte noticed it in the tightness of his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she muttered to him. But he didn't understand why she was apologizing. It was hard to stumble on command.  
"All good."  
"Yeah, that's why your muscles are so tense, they're about to burst out of your shirt." She looked into his eyes, but then lowered her gaze.

If only she knew what was really going on inside of him. He was finally ready to move on to the next scene. She would be the first really physical one between them and he was so tense because he finally wanted to hold her in his arms. Admitting that to himself was hard enough, but telling her that? Never.

Finally, the time had come. They got the dialogue relatively quickly, that was always the case with them. They felt and listened carefully and reacted to every little nuance the other person changed in the pronunciation or the voice and reacted to it. Once again they had to deliver a fiery dialogue and in the end he had to grab her angrily. Then there would be a long look in the eyes, the audience should believe that now the long awaited kiss would happen, but then he should lift her up instead and carry her the rest of the way to the hut. But of course the hut wasn't standing here in the forest, but had been built in the studio. 

"And shoot" cried Georgiana, and the scene began. 

"Come on, now." he yelled at her and even though it was only an act, she flinched a little bit every time.  
"Are you afraid of me?" he whispered as he walked toward her with quick steps and grabbed her arm. She fought back and each time that made him grab her a little more, pull her a little more. He was trapped in her eyes and the superhuman pressure to kiss her almost overwhelmed him. Sidney swallowed as he let his gaze wander down to her mouth and he could barely resist the urge as he got closer and closer and felt her breath on his skin. His lips were already tingling. 

"And cut!" cried Georgiana.

He let out a puff of breath he hadn't noticed he was holding. And took a step back. He could say she felt the same. Charlotte looked slightly confused. Her cheeks were flushed, she breathed quickly and avoided his gaze at all costs.  
"All clear?"  
"yeah, sure." she stuttered.  
"I erm...sorry, I didn't mean to...well..."  
"Never mind." Neither one of them knew what was being said and so they prepared for the next take.

Sidney had to pull her to him and in doing so, pull her into his arms in bridal style. They talked it over briefly but Charlotte only heard static in her ears. When it finally happened, the feeling of being so close to each other overwhelmed the two of them and instead of starting to move, which was actually the instruction, Sideny stopped and stared into her beautiful face. This eyes. Stunned by what just happened she asked him whispering in a serious tone.

"What just happened to you?"  
"You."


	2. on location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a few interesting shooting days lie ahead....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like you wished for the next chapter for this little story

„Me?“ What did he mean by that? Charlotte asked herself, she was completely confused. 

"From the beginning!" shouted Georgiana and Sidney put Charlotte on her feet a bit rudely and went back to the starting point. He avoided looking at her as she too repositioned herself. They shot the scene again and again and again.

"Charlotte, please try not to tense up so much when he grabs you! You don't expect him to dare grab you and you must be surprised when he lifts you up."  
"Yeah, right, sorry."  
Charlotte avoided looking at Sidney the whole time, but when she lifted her head now, she saw him rolling his eyes annoyed. She really had to get on his nerves. She became more and more insecure around him every minute. 

"He must work to get you!" cried Georgiana and Charlotte nodded energetically to assure herself that she could do it.  
"before he picks you up, give him a hard time."  
"She's already giving me a hard time," mumbled Sidney, and Charlotte really didn't know what to say anymore.  
"I'm sorry." she muttered back half-loud and turned away for a moment so he couldn't see the tears come to her eyes.   
"Hey", he said, like he didn't mean it. 

Sidney reached for her, but only grazed her arm as she turned away. Shit. Was she crying? Oh, no, please not! Charlotte took a deep breath. She'd been hurt before. She knew the pain. Even if it was somehow deeper this time.... But she told herself, it doesn’t matter. Just keep your head up and breathe.   
She turned around again, stood wordlessly on her marker and waited for the sign that it started. Still deep in thought, she didn't react like before when he reached for her, she didn't react when he lifted her up, although it seemed to her as if he was looking at her with another look. She closed her eyes briefly. 

"Good, we got it, guys!" Georgiana's voice came to her ear. 

Sidney put her back on her feet, a little nicer this time, but without another word, she turned around and let Susan give her her coat. It had become bitterly cold and she now had to shoot the scene where she runs through the forest. Sidney looked after her. He hadn't meant it the way she had understood it. In terms of work, she made it easy for him. It was really easy to work with her. But she made it hard for him to concentrate. That was not okay. It had to stop! He couldn't let himself be distracted by her like that. Sighing, he shook his head and asked where the close-up should be done. 

While Sidney was still doing his close-up, Charlotte was being prepared for her run through the forest. So she would not hurt herself, she could put on sturdier shoes. While Susan put on a dry copy of her dress, she tried to put her thoughts in order. After her hair had dried and the make-up had been repaired, it was that time again.  
When she got out of the bus, Sidney was already gone and a wave of relief flooded through her. Barely two hours later she was back in her own clothes and on her way to the hotel. She froze a little and every now and then she shivered because of it. 

"Are you frozen?" Susan asked, worried.  
"Yes, totally."  
"You should go to the steam room. The hotel even has a small sauna."  
"Really, oh wow, I will."  
"Yes, do that, we can't risk you getting sick."

Somehow Charlotte felt as if Susan wanted to say something more, but nothing came. They talked about other things until they got to the hotel. Charlotte ran up to her room and undressed. Wrapped in a towel and bathrobe, she then took the rickety elevator to the basement where the steam room and sauna were hidden. But unlike the rooms and the old-fashioned keys, the sauna was first class. Much bigger and more modern than expected. There were showers, one door probably led to a solarium and another to a Finnish sauna. But that was too hot for her. Charlotte sat down in the steam room. It was a wonderful smell. Lemon and melissa and something else, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She enjoyed being alone, which was obvious at this time of night, by now it must have been two in the morning. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander while her muscles relaxed. At some point her tears, which she stupidly shed, mixed with the drops that slid down from her forehead.

Sidney couldn't sleep. After trying to get himself to sleep with two glasses of whiskey, he decided to go to the sauna. He needed to relax. Not only for his mind but also for his body. His body was more tense than it had been for a long time. Charlotte weighed almost nothing, so he didn't mind the constant lifting from her slim body, but she somehow caused a cramp in him and he couldn't explain why. Well, actually he could. But he did not want it. His head took care of it. She was just a little girl. Not more.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the heat slowly working on his body. His thoughts suddenly shifted back to the moment he was so close to her. So close. The urge to kiss her gripped him so tightly that he almost gave in. What did that say about him? What was he supposed to think? He had no desire to kiss his colleagues. It had always been just part of his job. 

"Damn it!"

After another twenty minutes, he got up and wanted to go back to his room. The night was soon over. He hoped that he would now find sleep. As he walked past the steam bath, he almost tripped over his own feet.

Leaning her head against the tiles of the wall, she sat there. Drops ran down her bare shoulders. Her hair stuck to her face and disappeared on her back, which was turned away from him. The towel wrapped tightly around her chest, her hands beside her on the bench. Her legs stretched out in front of her. She seemed relaxed. Her eyes were closed, her face free of make-up seemed young and fresh. And those pink lips!   
Sidney wasn't sure if she was asleep or just relaxing. He didn't know exactly since when she had been sitting there, but the sight of her delicate body wrapped in a towel that was much too short made him not think clearly. He tore open the door to the steam room and she immediately jumped up.

"Oh."  
"You shouldn't sleep in a steam room," he said curtly.  
"I haven't." Immediately uncomfortable, she checked to see if everything was still in place and stood up. She had probably fallen asleep, because she staggered a little. Sidney grabbed her by the arm. His hot hand on hers made her gasp for breath. He was so close.

"What did you do then?" why his voice was suddenly so low, he couldn't explain himself. She trembled slightly and, frightened he had scared her, he let go of her immediately.

"Nothing that concerns you." 

she mumbled and squeezed past his unbelievably beautiful body, which was only wrapped in a towel around his hips, and stomped out. 

The cool air outside surprised her a little and she nervously reached for her bathrobe. She quickly put it on and the towel came off and slipped to the floor. Since her back was to him, he hadn't seen anything. Thank God for that. But the thought of her standing more or less naked in front of him made him a little dizzy himself. 

"Good night." she said without turning back to him and disappeared in the elevator.  
He had to talk to her, damn it, they had to work it out somehow.  
Sidney wasn't sure at first, but then he ran after her. The elevator doors closed slowly, but she didn't stop them for him. Their eyes met briefly before she looked to the side and bit her lip. Definitely never had that happened to him before. Usually, the women were clamouring to be crammed into an elevator with him. Oh, boy!

The next morning came faster than expected and today the other actors came to the set, there was only one scene where everybody was together. Otherwise, there were smaller group scenes. Charlotte and Sidney only had one take together, they had to give each other a certain look and luckily it wasn't a really nice look. It was more the look of confusion and anger. That matched the mood between them and Charlotte really didn't bother to get along with him anymore.

Later she found out that because of the good weather conditions, one of the romantic scenes should be shot today. Later it would be cut into the scene of the river.   
Charlotte took heart and decided to talk to him, before this scene. She just couldn't imagine that she should portray the couple in love with him when they understood each other so little. She went to his room to talk to him, but the sounds she heard made her stomach turn. 

"Oh yes, there oh God. Yes, please... there... ugghh..."   
Charlotte's heart was beating up to her neck, how could he get laid during the break in shooting. Oh, how disgusting!   
"Circle, let it circle, yes..."  
Charlotte ran to her room and just couldn't understand what was going on with her. It was none of her business. She had no right to ... what? Why should she? He was an ass. Maybe he was more relaxed afterwards. Oh God! She really felt like she was going to throw up.

Charlotte was already sitting in the mask when he came in. He greeted the group, but she could not answer because she was geting lipstick. Her eyes met briefly in the mirror but he turned away so quickly that Charlotte could not interpret his look. They were then led to the square. It was a meadow with wild flowers and tall grass. It was supposed to be the clichéd motif, they walk through the meadow, they fall into the grass, romp around. Laughing. She just can't get herself in the right mood. He can't stand her. And she's so repulsed and disgusted by him.

"Now girl, concentrate. You're about to shoot a magical scene in this beautiful location," said Susan while fiddling with Charlotte's dress.   
"Yes, it's a lovely location."   
Susan shook her head as she walked over to Sidney and stroked and tugged at his vest.  
"What did you do?"  
"What?" He was off his game, she could tell.  
"Did you fight?"  
"Who?"  
Susan looked at him with raised eyebrows as if she wanted to ask him: really?  
"I erm...no."  
"You know Sidney, I understand your desire for distance after what happened back then, but not all young actresses are like El..."  
"I know."  
"Charlotte is a special girl." 

"I... erm... yes..."  
"She won't hurt you."  
"Ha," he laughed briefly, but was immediately serious again after the look Susan gave him.  
"You should guide her, and it wouldn't hurt to take away her fear a bit."  
"what do you talking about?"  
"she never had... you know."  
"Oh...Yeah...good."

He was then called into position. Charlotte convulsively tried to relax on one side and on the other side she remembered all the funny things that had ever happened to her to get into the right mood. Then the shooting started. Walking fast back and forth through the tall grass. A look over her shoulder at him. Falling down once. It was all done very quickly and it was really fun. Even Sidney had to laugh and he seemed younger and somehow magical as he giggled to himself. But then she suddenly remembered what she had heard before at his room and her mood was at its lowest point again.

"We have it, guys. Now the close-ups." 

Charlotte was placed in the flower meadow, some flowers pushed aside. Her hair and make-up was touched up again. Susan tugged at her dress, and then it was done. Sidney had to fall on her, without hurting her, of course. The first few times she flinched and pulled her mouth shut.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked nervously.  
"No." She was calm.  
After the fifth take, his mood began to change again.   
"What's your problem?" he asked between takes.  
"what do you mean?" she asked innocently.  
"You flinch every time," he moaned.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Stop apologizing." His voice got a little louder.  
"okay."

"Good you two, now lie on her and languish!" Georgiana shouted again.

"Are you afraid?"  
"What for?" Charlotte asked back bravely.  
"It's your first..."  
How the....did he know that? Shit. Shit.  
"Movie kiss."  
Oh, well, he didn't know. That would really be too embarrassing!  
"Never mind." She stuck her chin out proudly, but something in her eyes told him that it really mattered.  
"Okay," he leaned on his elbows, his face hovering over hers.  
"relax."  
"I am relaxed."  
"sure." he laughed sarcastically.

"Here we go," Charlotte heard Georgiana's voice, but it faded more and more into the background.

Sidney stared into her eyes as he slowly got closer. Her eyes widened because the feeling of his closeness, this warmth was almost unbearable. Something soft suddenly lay in his eyes. His face came closer. Charlotte's heart was pounding in her chest. She felt his fingers gently against her cheek, but she could only concentrate on his gaze. Sidney was so close that she felt his breath on her cheek. Her lips began to tingle. Her feelings were whirling around inside of her, she could no longer think clearly. She was about to experience her first kiss. His lips on hers. Even if he didn't like her, that first kiss would be burned into her brain forever. She could no longer stand his gaze and closed her eyes.

A tender breath flew over her lips before she felt his mouth right next to hers. He moved his lips, his whole head. When he detached from her, she looked at him confused. No kiss.   
"Well, how was your first movie kiss?" he whispered in a hoarse voice after the scene was repeated twice.  
"It was okay." she muttered, avoiding his gaze, and got up so quickly that he couldn't help but digest her answer. Why was he disappointed? He thought she would have preferred it that way, for her first kiss on screen. 

Back in town, there the other scenes were about to shot and he wars looking forward to it. Which confused him even more.

The kiss in the flowers was to be later in their relationship. The first kiss of her film characters should take place in the hut built in the studio. Several scenes that were quite exciting were to be shot there. Charlotte was so nervous about the two days scheduled for it that she could barely eat. She only drank water, the only thing she could get down was apple and nectarines. Her jaw was already hurting from the constant consumption of peppermint chewing gum. She just didn't want her to smell bad and him to kiss the corner of her mouth disgusted like in the meadow.   
Luckily she played a virgin who had no experience at all and who should be rather shy with him. So she didn't even have to act. 

"Oh, Charlotte, you've lost weight!" Susan said, and Charlotte looked down at herself in confusion.  
"What's wrong, hmm?"  
"nothing."  
"My dear, you haven't fallen in love with him, have you?"  
"what?" Charlotte was completely shocked by Susan's question.  
"you wouldn't be the first." she muttered with a friendly smile.  
"That's not it." she would never admit what she has sadly already admitted to herself.  
"Then what is it, dear?"  
"I've never... well, I've never... you know." she stuttered.  
"Oh, just think of a love scene as a dance. You'll get it."  
Charlotte opened her mouth to say something more, but then kept it to herself. Maybe it's better to pretend.

Before she went on the set, she checked out what she looked like. Her legs were shaved, she didn't want to risk him feeling stubble when he stroked her leg. Oh God this is gonna be so embarrassing!

Sidney smeared lip balm on his lips and tried to behave normally. He was feeling normal. A little excitement was always part of these things. When Charlotte came on the set, he cursed for a moment.   
The lighting technician standing nearby looked at him questioningly, but Sidney just pulled a face and got into position to do some push-ups, finally his muscles should be visible when he pulled off his shirt. As usual he was totally cool. Well except for his heart pounding in his chest since Charlotte came and barely looked at him....oh no, no, no!

Everything happened so fast, the dialogue, the looks and then Sidney was supposed to come over to her from one end of the cabin with three long steps, grab her, press her against the wall and kiss her. It was shot from three angles. First from his perspective. Sidney had to come towards her with big strong steps and only stop very close in front of her. When that was in the box, the angle came from her perspective. Sidney from the front with his intense look. In that time she was back in the mask and her hair was combing again before he was allowed to mess it up.

Charlotte's heart was beating up to her neck when the time finally came. Sidney stood before her. His figure should quiver with desire and then suddenly kiss her. She, the innocent girl, with no experience whatsoever, was to be guided by him. It took some time to adjust where exactly his hand should reach into her hair and when she should look him in the eyes again, which allowed Charlotte's heart to calm down again.

"Well, let’s the place burn." cried Georgiana and it started. 

Well not really, because either they hit their heads or Charlotte had turned her head too soon and didn't open her eyes at the right time. Sidney's jaw clenched and Charlotte was so annoyed by it that she just said  
"if we had discussed the scene before, it would probably go better."  
"when should we have done this?"  
"I don't know, you ditched me when I tried to talk to you."  
"When was that?"  
"before we went to the location."  
"I didn't have time then."  
"I know, you never did."  
"what's the point?" he grumbled.  
"I don't know, you tell me."  
"I'm a producer too, I don't always have time for your sensitivities."  
"I...my...sensitivities?" Charlotte's rage became more and more intense.   
So far they had fought the battle of words quite quietly, so that nobody noticed anything, but only she could hardly suppress it any more, she wanted to shout at him.  
"Like you're capable of recognizing other people's sensitivities."  
"Capable?"  
"Never mind." She looked away.

Sidney's heart was racing so wildly in his chest that he thought it was about to jump out of his chest. He wanted to grab her and shake her, what did she think? What the hell was she talking about...  
"what...?"

"In position."

He growled and stood in position with clenched fists. He was supposed to press one hand flat against the wall next to her head, but he couldn't calm down and held his hand clenched as a fist.

"Sid, dig your hand into her hair." Georgiana cried.

He reached into her hair. Charlotte sucked in the air.  
"Sorry." He loosened the grip a little.

"we are filming."

Sidney clenched his jaw and looked deep into Charlottes eyes. There was something in her eyes, besides the uncertainty. He couldn't quite make it out.

"Okay, now kiss, please."

Slowly he leaned closer. Her breath tickled his lips. A look into her eyes, big, a liquid dark chocolate. They widened a little, until she let them close, trembling slowly. His lips lay so tenderly on hers that she forgot to breathe, it was just a whiff.

Lightning flashed through him. Suddenly, his body was tingling all over. Gently, he pressed his lips a little closer to hers. Just a little bit. Charlotte tensed imperceptibly, so he stayed as he was so she could get used to him. Sidney couldn't help but let his hand wander slowly towards her. He touched her lightly at the waist and she gasped for breath. 

When she felt she could no longer breathe, she sucked the air in sharply. Sidney didn't let go of her, however, but sipped her upper lip. It was such an overwhelming feeling that her knees gave way slightly and he pressed himself against her a bit more and she just couldn't suppress it. She sighed at the pure beauty of this feeling.

Sidney grabbed her hair a little tighter after he heard her sigh. He completely forgot for a moment where they were and tried to deepen the kiss but she wouldn't let him. Her lips were almost closed, but soft and warm and that was enough for him. For the moment. Continuing to nibble her lips tenderly, he heard only a murmur in his head and only when her cool hand was on his collarbone did he regain clear.  
Slowly he separated from her and their eyes met for a moment. Her eyes fluttered like the wings of an excited butterfly. Both breaths were fast.

"Cut."

"Damn it."   
Charlotte flinched briefly at his unexpected outburst. All emotions tumbled around her head. She gazed at him in a slight rapture, but he immediately lowered his eyes and moved away from her.

"Looks fine, we can leave it like this." cried Georgiana.

And Charlotte let out a long breath. Her heart was pumping deeply in her chest. She smiled at Sidney and was about to say something when he just turned around and muttering walked away, shaking his head.

Charlotte looked at him in disbelief. It hurt because they had just shared a moment that was very important to her.   
But obviously not for him.


	3. most awaiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most exciting scenes are coming, but Charlotte had to relax first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late and I hope I didn't make any mistakes...

The makeup artist came and checked Charlotte's lipstick and the rest of her makeup.  
"you don't need rouge." she said absent-mindedly, powdering her face again while Susan put her wet coat on.  
The scenes played out now, the night before the kiss, as the two of them stormed into the hut completely drenched, tearing off their coats and dresses and then feeling their mutual attraction.

The most exciting scene was when Charlotte's character could not open her dress and Sidney's character was at first reluctantly and then not so reluctantly helping her. The whole thing lasted forever, because the many buttons had to be closed every time. At some point the time had finally come. He opened her dress and let his fingers stay on her skin for a short time. Before she had to recite her angry text. This was supposed to evoke so much suppressed passion in the male character that he almost rip the dress off her body.

Sidney couldn't help himself, he didn't like it at all. He couldn't get rid of the frown line between his eyes, but the director thought it was great because it made the character appear deep in thought. The constant unbuttoning and buttoning took longer than the scene with the fingers on her skin and although he didn't want to admit it, that was one of the reasons why he was frustrated.

After the strange feeling of having shared something quite intimate, with the kiss before, her physical closeness now confused him quite a bit. He saw exactly how she was trembling, as light as it was, and the goose bumps that spread when he touched her. He felt the strange urge to kiss her bare shoulder.   
When the scene was finally finished, he said goodbye so quickly that Charlotte could still feel the warmth of his fingers on her skin. It was all very confusing and annoying.

Later, after dinner, the two of them and some of the crew members met at Tom's place, who urgently wanted to discuss tomorrow's scenes with them.   
It was supposed to show the new married couple, who were once again locked up in the cabin and then knew how to use their time there.   
A bit of dialogue, a choreographed love scene and tender kisses were on the agenda and Charlotte felt the lump in her stomach getting bigger and bigger. She was already warm from listening and she was really panicking before the scenes.

"You really need to relax." mumbled Sidney, who was suddenly standing behind her chair.  
"I'm relaxed," she muttered back.  
He sighed.   
"And I ask everyone to be patient with Charlotte, it's her first experience in this area." Tom cried out and Charlotte would love to buried herself in the ground. All eyes were on her and she noticed she was blushing. She believed everyone knew the true meaning behind those words.   
"It won't be so bad," someone said.  
"It's not like the real first time..." someone else said, they laughed, they started sharing strange experiences. In front of and behind the camera. Charlotte could no longer tell the voices apart, they were all mixed up in her head, it was just static. Her heart was beating up to her neck, hopefully noone asked her what her experiences were. She didn't want to talk about it, because there was non. In front of everybody! oh boy, that would be really too embarrassing. She looked around in flaring panic, she had to get out of the room somehow.

Something was wrong with her. There couldn't have been any way she could have caused such a panic before the scenes, could there? Sidney looked at her with concern. Was there something more about it?   
He felt he had to protect her at all costs. She was obviously uncomfortable in the conversation about it. No matter what she had experienced, it was never cool to pretend to kiss in love, in front of twenty crew members. All that half-naked, too. And she didn't really seem to get along with the physical conditions yet.   
Charlotte was young and damn cute. And really very pretty. Those big, deep chocolate eyes. But she seemed to have no idea how sensual and above all how sexy she was. From the wide clothes she always wore, she was not yet in harmony with her body which was incredibly beautiful.

With a short laugh he brought attention to himself and then asked everyone to concentrate again.  
"We should concentrate now on the scene tomorrow. Mary?"  
His sister-in-law had written the scene and he was sure it would be good. She had a knack for aesthetic scenes. They all got the script for tomorrow and debated it for a while. Charlotte could feel Sidney looking at her, and he was now sitting across the room in an armchair. 

Eventually the group broke up and Mary handed out some canapés and drinks. Sidney had been on the phone for a while and when he disappeared after a while nobody seemed to notice.

"Charlotte."  
She felt him behind her and turned to him.   
"Yes?"  
"come with me."  
Sidney pointed her to follow him, they went up the stairs and he pointed to a door.  
"what...?"  
"I want you to relax." He opened the door and it seemed to be his, because his jacket was lying on the bed. In the middle of the room there was a massage table.

"This is my brother Arthur, he's a physical therapist."  
"Ahh."  
"Hello Charlotte, Sid tells me you need to relax a little?"  
"Well, I..."  
"Sorry we missed each other at the hotel, but luckily I'm everywhere Sid is." he laughed. She looked at Sidney in irritation.  
"I yes...was rather tense after the forest scene" he explained hesitantly.  
"but it wasn't you, sweetheart," Arthur said, giving his brother a sideways glance that he tried to ignore.  
"Take your time."   
"thank you," Charlotte said before Sidney left the room.

She stood there hesitantly, but Arthur calmed her down.  
"You needn't be ashamed of me. I love you women, but not that way."  
Arthur left the room so Charlotte could undress in peace. She looked around the room a little while longer. There were hardly any personal items. It was like a room passing through.

"Are you ready?"  
"Yeah, sure."  
"on your back."

Arthur pointed to the massage table and she lay down. He put a blanket over her, which was cuddly warm and smelled wonderful. He then began to smear her arms and shoulders with heated oil. At the beginning he asked if it was pleasant.

"tell me if you don't like something or you'd like to have it different. Sidney always tells me exactly how he wants it. Harder and in circles, even if it's not right for his muscles right now..."  
Charlotte remembered the hotel and what she believed at that moment, she heard him say such things. She felt the blush rise to her face.

"All right?"  
"Yeah, it's great. And you always go with Sidney?" she asked curiously.  
"No, only when it's close to home."  
"where do you live?"  
"we all live in Sanditon."  
"All of you?"  
"Yes, Tom and Mary and their kids only come for the holidays, but the rest live there."  
"How nice."  
"yes, you should come and visit. Man, Sidney will be so much more relaxed."

Arthur then kneaded her other arm and her legs. At some point she turned over on her stomach and Arthur massaged all her tension away. Finally, he let her rest and Charlotte fell asleep against all expectations.

At some point there was a slight knock at the door. Charlotte raised her head and looked up. Sidney stuck his head inside the door and smiled his crooked smile.  
"Sorry, hmm, I thought you might rather sleep in bed than on the table."  
"oh, yeah...no I'm going home."  
She wanted to get up, but then remembered that she should rather not do so with him in the room. He nodded and disappeared again.

*

The next morning she was much more relaxed, but still her stomach was tingling with excitement. The first scene was the dialogue. It played after the making-love scene. They lay together under the covers. Sidney leaned on his elbows and his face hovered over hers. His upper body was lightly pressed against hers, their bodies only separated by the light fabric covering their breasts. Distracted by the dialogue they had to recite, Charlotte almost forgot what a strange situation they were in.

Then came the kissing scene and Charlotte's breath faltered again. The colleagues from the make-up department checked again if both were flawless and then the filming started.  
"Hey," Sidney whispered as he realized she was getting nervous again.  
"look at me."  
She did. Their eyes locked and Sidney almost forgot what he wanted to say. He cleared his throat and took his eyes off her face.  
"Just don't think."  
"ok." ...her breath stopped.  
"It's just you and me," and if he hadn't said it in that dark tone, it might have been all right, but like that, her eyes and pulse fluttered at the same speed. Her heart was pounding deep in her chest as he adjusted his hands as the director wanted. The blanket was pushed into the right position again, the hair was put in place once more. 

"Charlotte?" he whispered.  
"yes?"  
"just think about nothing." he smiled at her.  
"all right."  
"or just think I'm nice." he laughed slightly to relieve her tension. She giggled sheepishly.  
"...a nice guy you can kiss a little bit." he laughed up, but the laughter stuck in his throat when he saw the look on her face. She then avoided his gaze, and before he could ask anything more, they had to start.

"we're filming."

Everything in her head disappeared. It became a fuzzy cloud in her brain. Her lips were tingling. His warmth and his scent misted her and then he pressed his lips to her forehead. Very lightly. The heat from his lips slowly seeping through her body made all other thoughts disappear. She only felt. Sidney kissed his way across her cheek until he finally came to a stop on her mouth. He moved his lips to hers and it almost seemed as if they were asking something. And Charlotte couldn't help but answer him. 

"cut"

Slowly he detached himself from her and stared at her with a strange expression she had never seen on his face before.

"that was good, but now I need even more passion, and Charlotte, please don't just lie there passively." cried Georgiana.  
"ok."  
"after all, you want him too."

Her stomach flipped at the words. And she really forgot everything they discussed yesterday.   
"Reach into my hair."   
She then lightly put her fingers along his hairline at the back of his neck. She was so reserved and shy and slowly the realization crept into his mind. If they were lovers, he would know how he would take away her restraint. But they were not. They were colleagues who had to shoot a scene, that was supposed to work in the cinema as if they were not only very much in love but also full of passion for each other. 

"Don't be scared" he mumbled.  
He warned her, but before she could even think he kissed her with passion, she still reacted shyly, but now she clawed her hands into his hair and upper arm. Sidney kissed her with his mouth open, as it looked like more on the screen than it actually was.   
After the third take, it was finally done and they could stop.

During the break Sidney watched Charlotte. There were only two possibilities why she was so reserved. And both reasons could not be. It was impossible.

After the break it was time for the love scene, which thanks to Mary consisted of many individual pieces. The hands that caressed her face. Fingers that slid up her back. Fingers that clawed into his. His lips that kissed her neck. 

When it was finally done, the crew clapped, because for all of them the filming had been exhausting. Not only was the room filled with candles that created that certain flickering light, but so many people in a small space. The air was not so good anymore and Charlotte had got a terrible headache at some point. 

But the most exhausting thing for Sidney was to suppress the honest passion that bubbled more and more to the surface. She was intoxicating. So incredibly sensual and what made it even more arousing was that she didn't even know it.

He turned away from her and pulled the blanket over her so that no one could even look at her. She found it quite chivalrous that he covered her before he got out of bed and put on his bathrobe. He gave her hers, and before Susan could rush to her aid, Charlotte had already put it on and got up.

Although they were so close for several hours, he had not the slightest idea what she looked like. Of course, he wouldn't dare look at her, he would never do that. To feel her skin on his had been so sensational and wonderful, but he avoided letting his thoughts drift off there.

Sidney was just happy that they had finally got through the difficult phase. The next day would include the scenes at the river, hardly any dialogue, but kind gestures. Among other things a trip with the rowing boat.

"Hey," he held her lightly by the arm as she passed him.  
"yes?"  
"l... erm... are you all right?"  
"Yeah, sure."  
He looked at her because he recognized her lie immediately.  
"I have a headache," she said reluctantly.  
"yes I know."  
„thank you for your help.“ she spoke quietly.

He nodded and hold her gaze for a moment and when she smiled at him so sweetly and shyly, honest and true, the icy cloak shattered around his heart.


	4. the boat ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney have a litte....accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for my special friends on the sanditonsisterhood.

Charlotte was glad when she got up the next morning without a headache. The day yesterday had been so exhausting, even though she had been in bed most of the time. But pretending to love and want someone and not forgetting yourself and suppressing the instinct to kiss him properly was exhausting. And it felt so real. The tingling in her stomach, his look as their eyes glued together, his light smile. He was so reassuring. She had really forgotten everything around her, especially the many people. But unfortunately also that they were not real. It was her roles that made love. Not Charlotte and Sidney. 

When she was later dressed by Susan, she was still hanging on to her thoughts. She didn't even realize that Susan had already finished, so she stood still.

"Charlotte."  
"Yeah?"  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"nothing."  
"You are so lost in thought." remarked Susan.  
"I think about the scenes."  
"Yesterday's"?  
Shocked, Charlotte looked at Susan and noticed she was blushing.

"Hmm?"  
"Well, yes."  
"What exactly are you thinking about?"  
"He was so supportive and so nice." Susan grinned knowingly.  
"And protective," she said.  
Charlotte smiled briefly and nodded. 

"Yes, I mean he obviously doesn't like me, but that was very nice of him."  
"I don't think he doesn't like you."  
"I want to believe that too, but... most of the time he just leaves me standing."  
"Charlotte?"  
"Yes."  
"I think you should have to talk to him."  
"Yes, sure." She nodded bravely, but also knew directly that she would never talk to him about what was in her head.

The weather was again completely mixed this day. Just now the sun disappeared behind the clouds and it became quite cold. Wrapped in a thick black quilted coat she stood on the bank of the river and waited for Sidney to finish his take in the boat. 

When it was her turn, she opened the coat and just as one of Susan's assistants took off her coat, the sun came out again. Sidney stopped in his movement and his heart stumbled to then pound wildly in his chest as he sucked in the sight of her. He couldn’t help it. And he wasn't the only one who stopped and stared at her. 

She was glowing. 

Her white dress stood in stark contrast to the dark background of the forest behind her. It fluttered in the wind around her. Her hair, neatly styled, was rumpled by the next gust of wind. That made her laugh. This laughter illuminated everything around her. Charlotte put a smile on everyone's face without even noticing.

When she then still laughingly took up her position and as she walked past she grazed his arm, it was as if he had received an electric shock. Just like on her first day when they shook hands. Their eyes met and it was suddenly as if they were standing alone on the bank.

"Charlotte are you ready?" asked the recording manager and the spell was broken.

After she had done her close-ups, they had another dialogue together. Just before the shoot, he asked her if she still had a headache and if she was okay. If she didn't know better, she could have thought he was worried about her.

Later they had to cross the river. They were brought into position with a motorboat. There it was to look as if they were talking, after all this was the journey of a newly in love couple. The shots were taken from the riverbank. So this would be the first time she was alone with Sidney. Under surveillance, but not directly surrounded by twenty or more people. Since they were under time and weather pressure, they were simultaneously filmed with a drone that was supposed to fly over them several times. Therefore they could not take blankets, jackets or thermos flasks on board.

Since the sun was gone in between, the two of them were freezing again. Charlotte in her light dress with the short sleeves wrapped her arms around her to warm herself. She leaned forward unconsciously to make herself as small as possible. The look to her, however, drew Sidney's eyes again to her beautiful cleavage. To stay professional, he looked out at the water. 

Out of embarrassment, Sidney kept tugging at his white shirt and rolled up sleeves. This caused Charlotte to gaze at his shapely forearms and remembered how it felt to lie protectively between them. She blushed at the thought of his naked chest lying warm and firm on her. 

"We're filming!" they shouted to them and the two sat upright but relaxed, after all they were already very familiar with each other in their story.

"Well, tell me about yourself," Sidney said and immediately passed the ball to her.  
"There's not much to tell," she smiled her enchanting smile, and Sidney forgot to say anything for a moment and just smiled back at her.  
Somehow Charlotte had the feeling that they were both theirselfs, because the smile was shining in his eyes, too.

They talked about normal things, at first hesitantly, about production and food. It was a little embarrassing, but then suddenly the knot seemed to have been torn and it was suddenly very easy between them. At some point he told her about Sanditon, the small coastal town where his family had lived for generations, renting small apartments. Arthur had a lot to do, because the place was known for its healing sea air and therefore many tourists and sick people were there for recreation.

"That means if I ever want to vacation there, will you get me a great apartment with a view of the sea?"

At this moment Sidney hesitated, because he would like to offer her to live with him. But he chose not to.  
"When something is free, of course."  
"I guess not in the summer, then." she muttered with feigned disappointment.  
"you can stay with me... erm... with us then."

With her huge eyes she looked at him, it was again as if something was moving in the air. Sidney cleared his throat and looked out at the water again.  
Then he saw her hat swimming, which she had to take off at some point because of the wind, since it had constantly turned around. Sidney pushed past her too quickly and leaned over the edge of the boat to get to the hat. By the movement, the boat moved and he stumbled. To avoid any physical contact, he turned at the last moment and she instinctively grabbed him to stop him from falling. And splat.

The cold water pierced her mind at the first moment. With a loud groan she came back to the surface. 

"Shit!" cursed Sidney, who grabbed her and pushed her towards the boat so fast she couldn't really get it.  
"Here!" He held the boat down so she could pull herself up, he pushed her up by grabbing her thigh with his other hand and pushing her up. She sat down breathing heavily, it was damn cold. She was freezing. He could tell that not only by the fact that she was shaking like a leaf and had slightly blue lips. Her décolleté had already distracted him before, but now the fabric of her dress stuck to every curve, no matter how small, and really left no room for any imangination.  
He froze and could not take his eyes off her for the shortest moment. It seemed as if he had forgotten that the water was very cold.

"Come out!" she shouted and reached out her hand, which he ignored, of course. When he hoisted himself back onto the boat, they stared at each other. His shirt stuck to him too, like a second skin. The water dripped down his face. Charlotte found him so beautiful at that moment, that she got warm for a short time before she started shaking violently again.

Sidney could think of nothing else but to keep her warm. He heard the motorboat approaching, it was clear that they were now hurrying to help them. Sidney let his eyes slide down on her and saw that every curve and every seam of her underwear was exposed. Without thinking further he took off his shirt and tore it from his wet body. He wrung it out, leaned over to her and put it around her shoulders. 

Her hands trembled as she tried to hold it against her collar and he pulled it so far over her so he could button it up at the front without touching her. Charlotte was so busy watching him do it and watching his muscles flex that she couldn't see the motorboat next to them arrived.

She didn't realize what was happening around her until Sidney put her coat back on and then he put something on, too. Again and again the two looked at each other and although she was freezing and she was so cold, his gaze warmed her.

When they were finally on the shore Sidney helped her off the boat by grabbing her elbow, the grip radiated the strength she had suspected and suddenly she was a little dizzy. A smile and then they were both pushed into the styling bus. There the staff took care of them, helped them take off their wet clothes and a short time later they were wrapped in towels and bathrobes. 

Charlotte was blow-drying her hair and absent-mindedly she let the blow-dryer blow warm air along her body. She held it briefly in the neckline of her bathrobe and made a sound like a purring cat. When she opened her eyes she looked in the mirror in front of her and saw Sidney standing behind her. Charlotte felt as if she was caught in his gaze. He smiled and came one step closer. Leaning over her shoulder, he placed a cup in front of her.

"Oh Sidney!" she cried happily and reached for the cup, sucking in the smell of hot chocolate and warming her fingers on the hot cup before taking the first sip.

His name on her lips in that happy tone, his heart made a loop. It was penetrating and the most beautiful feeling he had had in a long time. Apart from the physical pleasure of kissing her lying under him. Their eyes met in the mirror and the room somehow expanded. Time stretched. There was only her. Charlotte.

The feelings flowing through him were all bare on his face and Charlotte's eyes were tingling. Sidney opened his mouth to say something when Tom walked in and asked if they could continue filming.

Knowing that the production was already behind schedule Sidney nodded and with a last look at her he went out with Tom.

The shooting schedule was delayed by the accident with the boat and the last scenes were shot quickly. Luckily Sidney and Charlotte were able to work so well together that their scenes were filmed in a rush.

Tom was at Sidney’s side the rest of the day, so he had no chance to talk to Charlotte.

When she was at home, Charlotte wanted to take a bath and because she was in a romantic mood she lit as many candles as she could find. The scent of sloe blossom filled the room. Warm and heavy. Like a warm and cuddly blanket. She stripped off her clothes and slowly let herself slide into the hot water. Deeply she breathed in the sensual scent and let her thoughts wander.

Sidney was glad when he and Tom were finally home. After drinking a whiskey to warm himself up inside, he went to his room. Of course, he couldn't sleep yet and on Arthur's advice he took a bath with some bath additive that Arthur recommended. A while later he lay there, the light dimmed, soft music in the background. His thoughts wandered of their own accord to the events of the day, or rather to Charlotte. Part of him didn't want it, but images of her penetrated his thoughts. Only briefly erotic moments flashed before his inner eye. Her breasts pressing through the wet thin fabric of her dress. Clung to her curves begging to be touched. The slightly open lips. All this mixed with the kissing scenes they had filmed. The tickle in his stomach grew more and more intense. He tried to shake off the thought that was slowly breaking through. But then he let it.  
He'd been such an ass to her. He had to talk to her. One image of her that he couldn't get rid of, like her smile from yesterday. That one little moment when she took off her coat and shone like a glittering cloud. He knew it. She shone from inside. She warmed him...

Charlotte's stomach tickles when she thought of Sidney's gestures. His eyes in the mirror. The hot chocolate. His shirt to protect her from the others' eyes. That incredible body. His lips, though only for the film, she felt them on her skin. Soft and tender.  
Charlotte let out a deep sigh. What a bummer! Contrary to what anyone had ever advised her, she had made the biggest mistake. She had fallen in love with her filmpartner. A Hollywood star. A jerk who didn't like her.

She blames herself for her stupidity and was only glad that the shooting was soon finished and since it was a small project, they would hardly do any promotion afterwards. And soon he would have forgotten her. Tired and exhausted she lifted herself out of the bathtub when the water got cold.

She dried herself and put on an old, worn pyjamas, which were made of flannel and therefore incredibly comfortable. She had piled her hair on top of her head in the bathtub and left it like that. She wandered into her room, with the small kitchenette and looked in the refrigerator for something edible, but found nothing. Just as she was looking through the delivery service, looking for inspiration about what she could eat, there was a knock on the door.

Tensely she sauntered to the door and looked through the peephole and was quite astonished when she opened the door and Sidney Parker stood in front of her.

"Hello."  
"hi" he said in a tense tone.  
"You are here."  
„Yes“ he said in a rush.  
„What is that?“ She asked to get away from his pungent look and pointed to the bag in his hand.  
"Food."  
"Well, come on in." Charlotte tried to keep a casual tone even though her innermost being was in turmoil. What was he doing here? Why was he here? Did he want to...  
"I am sorry."  
"but why...?"  
"well, I more or less threw you in the water." he smiled his crooked smile and as her knee gave way, Charlotte held on to the kitchen counter. Their eyes locked, and to release the tension, she asked him what was in the bag.  
"It's Asian vegetable soup, Arthur made it."  
"oh, great!"  
She turned around and took bowls out of one of the lower cupboards and was slightly irritated when he suddenly stood almost close. Well, not just slightly irritated. Not almost close. She could see the little laugh lines in his eyes.  


"what?" she whispered as he got closer and took the hair band off her bun.


	5. say something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and now he stands there, not knowing what to do. but Charlotte finds a way to make him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't help it, they just did this... really!

...and now he stands there, not knowing what to do.

'What am I doing? Why did I do that?' Sidney thought irritated and held the hair band in his hand without moving. Charlotte's big eyes held his gaze and he could not say what they were telling him. What should he do now? Probably he should say something? Or should he do something? Only what should he do? She took a deep breath. Her lips remained open a little, and his eyes couldn't help but wander to them for a moment. He took a deep breath, too. Slowly his gaze slipped back to her eyes and he was suddenly warm. So warm.

Charlotte felt like she had a cloud in her head. Time stood still. She wondered if she was still in the bathtub dreaming all this. Or was this man really standing in front of her? Staring at her lips and now back into her eyes? Why had he still raised his arm? Why had he opened her hair? Why was Sidney Parker standing in front of her and about to do... something? What was he about to do? Should she say something? Or should she not? Was he expecting something? Just what? What?

The next thing that happened, happened so fast that Charlotte didn't really know what was happening.  
One moment he was in front of her, the next moment he was gone. She heard the door slam and that brought her back to reality.  
What was that? What? All of a sudden she ran to the door and ripped it open.

Sidney stood leaning against the door, hiding his face in his hands. What had got into him? He almost kissed her! The tension between them was so palpable, he could still feel it. He took a deep breath and was about to leave when....

„What was that?“ she screamed at him.

Startled, he looked at her. She shook with rage. Her chest rose and fell violently and the furrow between her eyebrows was deep. He could pretend not to know what she meant, but for some reason he could not resist her question. Couldn't resist her. 

"I'm sorry."  
"What are you sorry for?" she cried, and she stood so close that he could smell her sensual scent. He smothered it somehow and it was a cocktail that went to his head. She was so, so... irritating. He couldn't think straight.  
Go, yes, he had to go. Just go! Before he did something stupid. He looked at her angrily because she had almost made him break his first rule. There's no way he would let that happen! Never!

Sidney stiffened, shook his head briefly and took a step away from her. But Charlotte wanted to torture him further and reached for his arm. So hot. So hot the touch of her fingers... ...his breath flashed and he turned further and further away from her.

"What's the matter with you?" Her voice trembled slightly.  
Sidney made a tortured sound as if he were in pain. Charlotte forgot her anger for a second.  
"Talk to me." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Goddamn it! Why did she have to be so, so, so sweet? And so warm and so... She disturbed his thinking. He couldn't form a thought anymore. 

"Let me go" he muttered and took his arm away from her.

Charlotte sucked in the air hard and... why couldn't he just leave it alone? But no, he had to look at her again. He was so stupid! The way she stood there. With her old pyjamas and her wild curls and those penetrating eyes. Wise and innocent. There were tears glistening in them and that look on her face. Hurt and angry, but there was more. Was she disappointed?

"I can't." he muttered and forced himself to lower his eyes.  
"Why not?"  
"Because..." he skipped a frustrated sound and started on the ceiling.  
"Because of what? I don't understand anything anymore!"  
"You're... you..." he clenched his fists and rumbled.  
"What am I?"  
"Oh, nothing." Again he ran his hands through his face and hair.  
"Come on, tell me!" she shouted, continuing in a sarcastic voice.  
"Did I drink your coffee again or I don't know, annoy you somehow?"  
Sidney did not answer, but now stared at the floor in front of him.

"or... or I have no idea what I've done, I thought..."  
"what?" it mattered a damn what she thought.  
"I don't know, maybe you don't think I'm so dumb..."  
"I don't think you're dumb."  
"yeah, right, and that's why you're so nice to me all the time." she laughed sarcastically.  
"I was nice."  
"Oh, yeah?"  
"I brought you soup."  
"Yeah, one minute you were nice, and the next you were just being a dick like always."  
"A dick? You think I'm a dick?"

his voice showed that he was getting angry and Charlotte had the right feeling she just had to annoy him a little bit more and then he would explode. That might finally bring the real problem to the surface.

"You're mean to me most of the time and then you come here and you're so nice and you...what were you doing?" she ran her hair for a second and it was very distracting.  
"What did I do to you?" 

"You did..." he started.  
"What have I done? What?" she screamed again.  
"what do you want me to say?" he yelled back.  
"I don't know! Something so I can change it."  
"You don't have to change anything." His voice became quieter but he was still breathing heavily. Too many feelings.

"What am I doing to you?" and although she tried very hard to hold it back, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Tears of rage. She wiped them away forcefully. Sidney stared at her. What was going on?

"Tell me what I'm doing wrong! What did I ever do to you? Tell me now!" she was so angry, and so unbelievably damn sexy! She pushed him slightly and as if he needed physical contact he shouted.  
"You're confusing me!" Silently she looked at him.  
"Damn it. You're so... and I never wanted... and you're so..."  
"What's all this stuttering?"  
His breath went faster again and he knew he was about to explode and that was not good when she was so close. 

"Tell me what do you want!" she shouted and that was the last straw.

The next moment Charlotte found herself pressed against the wall. His hand in her hair, the other around her narrow middle and most irritatingly, his lips on hers. Hot and searching and demanding and all consuming. Sidney pressed himself against her. The hand in her hair held her head and as she gasped for air he sucked and nibbled her lips. She made a whimpering sound and he was so lost. Oh shit!

His second hand moved up her back and enclosed her face. Very slightly. Feathery.  
Her fingers had been searching for support. They clawed into his collar and when he put her head to one side and started sipping and lightly nibbling her lips, she couldn't help herself. She reached into his hair and somehow pulled at the short ends and he growled. He growled!  
The vibration permeated her whole thinking. Charlotte could not move. 

As they both gasped for air, he took the opportunity he was given and began to kiss down her neck and suck lightly and it was unbelievable how good her neck tasted. Sidney moved at her and could not stop, it was a rush. A piercing shiver flooded his whole body and her little noises almost killed him.

Oh, damn. Damn!

He broke away from her and sought her gaze. What she looked like. So fucking sexy, and then this look. Her hair was all messed up. She was breathing heavily and looking very irritated. Both hands were framing her face tenderly. With light fingers he ran his fingers over her swollen lips. Looking for her look he came closer again and put his forehead slightly on hers. Both tried to catch their breath.

Sidney could no longer hold himself back. His lips moved by themselves. So lightly he kissed her eyelid, the tip of her nose, the other eyelid. The lips stroked tenderly over her cheekbones, across her cheek, down to her neck. Very lightly he kissed the small spot under her ear. She whimpered and trembled slightly. His left hand lovingly dug into her hair, his mouth tenderly stroked back the way. He kissed the corner of her mouth.

Charlotte's heart was thumping in her chest an in her head and at another very irritating place.  
Her breath was going too fast, she was already dizzy. As if in slow motion, he moved and hovered over her lips, as if he was suddenly aware that he wanted to be tender with her. 

Do not move, do not move! 

Sidney waited. Inhaling the same air, her lips tingling. Until Charlotte couldn't stand it any longer and leaned forward a little bit and her lips merged with his. The prickle stream that flowed through them made them both sob softly. Sidney felt drained and yet strong. He could barely stand on his feet, so he leaned against her even more. She had to keep him up.

Slowly, so incredibly slowly he let his tongue now run over her lower lip. And since her lips were so soft, it slipped in unhindered and groped along the inside of her lip. How good she tasted. Sidney breathed her in and she pressed herself against him. One of her arms wrapped around his neck tightly.

Charlotte penetrated every pore.

He consumed her with all his senses. Her sensual scent, her warm delicate skin under his fingertips. The sounds she made, her quick agitated breath. Her taste still lingered on his tongue, as Sidney dared to break away from her, his eyes sought her gaze and she was overwhelming.

The shame crept slowly up her back, making her cheeks glow. Her eyes were big, glowing. Her delicate fingers moved across his neck and shoulder and landed over his heart. Overwhelmed by feelings, he reached for it and pressed it to himself. A light, almost nervous smile played around his beautiful mouth.

"Glad we cleared that up." she whispered in a serious voice and Sidney had to laugh out loud. He even threw his head back. It was the most beautiful sound her ears had ever heard. And the feeling of happiness that spread in his chest was the most irritating, incredible feeling he had ever felt. 

"Charlotte," he looked at her radiantly, then shook his head.  
"You are..."  
"What am I?" A slight insecurity was building up inside her.  
"just wonderful."


	6. disbelief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlottes heart lifted and became very light. The tingling in her stomach intensified. Her cheeks were now glowing a bright red and he found her so adorable that he could hardly manage not to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry

"Oh, yeah?" she asked in disbelief.  
"Yes..." he grinned lovingly and took a step back and closed the door, which was still open.   
"and the best thing is, you don't even know it," he muttered.  
Charlottes heart lifted and became very light. The tingling in her stomach intensified. Her cheeks were now glowing a bright red and he found her so adorable that he could hardly manage not to kiss her.

"I have to go to Paris tomorrow," he suddenly said.  
"I know." she said, he looked at her briefly with this uninterpretable look.  
"About the advertising deal..."  
"Yes," she said, not knowing exactly what he wanted to say.  
"I wanted to see how you were." He smiled his crooked smile,  
"and...that," he hinted back and forth between the two of them "was not my plan."  
Bang. There was the cold shower she needed to clear her head. Charlotte nodded knowingly.

"All right," her voice was calm, but inside she was raging, "and what was the plan?"   
She stared at the floor, then closed her eyes briefly.  
"Charlotte," he whispered.  
"hmmm?"   
He touched her arm briefly and she looked at him with raised brows. As he looked down at her so earnestly, she focused on her breathing.  
"I don't do this," he said in a tortured voice.  
Oh yes, that hurt. Well, thanks a lot. I knew you were an ass! But instead she said

"Bring people soup?" 

she grinned and tried to ignore the pain that was spreading in her chest. She was an actress, after all. Sidney snorted.  
"That too." he clenched his jaw.   
"Then why are you here?" she asked hesitantly. Why had she asked a question in the first place? Charlotte wondered about herself, but blamed it on her present mental state, or rather her confusion..  
"I wanted to see you..." His voice was hardly audible.  
"All right," she said and tried to calm her trembling voice and beating heart, she took a deep breath and pushed herself past him. She felt so stupid!

"I...erm." he said to her back. Shit.  
She stopped pouring the soup into one of the bowls and slowly turned to him. He was still standing at the door, like he was about to jump out.

"Well?" 

Her voice was so soft that he almost didn't hear the trembling in it. Shit! What had he done? He drove angrily through his hair, which now stood off to all sides, opened his mouth to say something, 'because I'll miss you', but he could hardly tell her that. Sidney looked at her in silence and Charlotte wanted to be alone. Had to be alone.

"Well, then..." she pointed at the door.   
"You're throwing me out?" he asked incredulously.  
"You wanted to see me and bring me soup." she held on to the kitchen counter to give her voice strength.   
"I'm fine, thanks for the soup." she pointed at the door again.

"Charlotte."

Demonstratively, she put the second bowl back into the cupboard and then turned back towards him.  
"What?"  
"I knew from the first moment" he pointed to your kitchen counter "that it was dangerous..."  
"What was dangerous?" her voice was calmer when she felt inside.   
"To be alone with you, that's why I had avoided it until now." he looked at some spot on the wall.  
"What does it mean?" Charlotte was confused.

"I don't know that, that's why I came, to see if..." he shouted excitedly without even taking a breath.  
"I understand," but she didn't understand anything.  
They looked at each other for a long time, but before he could give in to the urge to go and kiss her again, he opened the door and disappeared.

The next morning the make-up artist asked her repeatedly if she had cried because her eyes were so red and her face was swollen.  
"no, I ... am allergic to my new ... erm skin cream" she stuttered, she didn't want to be a victim of speculation.  
"Well, it's a good day for it, then we won't have to put make-up on your eyes."  
Charlotte snorted a laugh.  
"but you should change the cream."  
"Yeah, sure." Charlotte nodded absently and listened to more advice without really listening.

The day was very exhausting. They shot until late at night because they were behind schedule with the shooting. Two days without him..., thought Charlotte when she arrived home and washed the soup bowl from the night before. Tears were tingling in her eyes. Her feelings for him were unchanged. As she thought of him or someone mentioned him briefly, than her heart lifted and then hammered loudly. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks when she thought of how he had pressed her against the wall and kissed her senselessly. Her first real kiss.   
Oh, stupid, stupid girl!

She remembered everything. His rapid breathing, his little moaning sounds, his pounding heart. His stubble under her fingers, his shapely chest under her hands. His hands at her back and tenderly against her face. She had felt him as he pressed himself against her. It did not leave him cold. It was terrifying and intoxicating. His eyes so gentle and loving and then so cold before he left. A little sob went its way and she took a deep breath. She went into the shower, trying to wash away the day and the thought of his hands and especially his lips on her. Tomorrow is another day, she thought to herself. And only two days of shooting left, and the party. She would get through it.

In Paris, Sidney lay awake in his hotel room. He felt terrible. Charlotte's face haunted him the moment he closed his eyes. The pain on her face. It was probably the first time anyone had rejected her. She was such a sunshine. No one would be stupid enough to let her go or, as in his case, to run away from her.   
What an idiot he was!

He had gone to see if she was okay. To apologize. If he'd known what was gonna happen, he wouldn't have gone. But, Charlotte tickled the real him to reveal that he was so desperate to hide from everyone. He was so angry.   
Oh, but the way her lips had felt! And her taste! And her tiny hands at his neck. And her smell, her little sounds and her trembling, it was so real. It wasn't an act. She had felt the same. He was sure of it. But he couldn't do that. Not now.

He didn't want the chaos that would result. He didn't want their relationship to suffer. Relationship? Oh, hell, yes, he could imagine a relationship with her. Honestly, he wished for it. He should be honest with her, but first and foremost with himself. Shit, shit, shit.   
He fell in love with her and now he has totally fucked up.

The next day there was a press breakfast with a few people from different magazines. He had to give answers to questions like

"What inspired you to create this fragrance?"  
"Did you really create this yourself?"  
"Did you go to the lab and mix it together?"   
General laughter. But then came the questions that most of them were really about. And since he hadn't given an interview for a while, everyone was eager to learn something about his current project.

"You're filling in for Edward Denham, is your brother paying you the same salary?"  
To which he replied politely  
"For contractual reasons, I am not allowed to answer that," and grinned cheekily, if they knew that he was working for free and was pouring money into the project, there would be more negative press. He had to watch what he said.

"You work with many newcomers on this project, what was it like for you as an ’old hand’ in this business?"  
"I respect every newcomer, just like I respect people who've been in the business longer." Except for one person, he thought for himself. And made a little face.  
"Your film partner is the highly acclaimed Charlotte Heywood, who has worked mainly in theatre and small film projects, how was the collaboration with her?"  
"We're still shooting," he said simply to avoid the question.  
"But is she as good as everyone says?"  
"Better." he smiled. 

She was really good. In her job as well as as a human being, Sidney thought and his mind went back to her apartment for a moment and he pulled a face how stupid he had behaved!  
"I hear there's a hot sex scene in the film," someone asked.  
"I'd call it a love scene, it's more about the feeling than the act."

His head drifted briefly to the scenes of how good it had felt with Charlotte. So real.  
The rest of the questions still got through to him, and he tried to answer politely and honestly as much as he could. But his mind was wrapped up with Charlotte. She swirled around in his head and his heart, it was pounding wildly again. He had to talk to her....

Tom was thrilled when today had gone completely according to his wishes. They were back in the shooting schedule, at least for the last two days. He had organized a small celebration for the whole production on Friday and invited a few more people from who would lead the more press on his project. And he had organized an interview for Charlotte and Sidney then. Sidney wouldn't be that enthusiastic, but if you put him in front of a fait accompli, there was nothing he could do. But until then, he has to keep it secret from his brother, even though he will surely take a flight home earlier.

The first article about the fragrance was online in the evening. Normally Sidney did not read these articles, because most of it was taken out of context and somehow always presented differently than it was. For whatever reason, he broke that rule and skimmed the article.   
"Shit!" he exclaimed and closed his eyes briefly, not only to block out the article, but also to block out the other passengers who were staring at him the whole time anyway.

"Oh Tom, the magazine has published Sidney's interview!" shouted Mary as she stared into her mobile phone as she burst into the last team meeting.  
"And does he call me and the film?"  
"Of course."  
"come on, Mary, what do they say?" Since it took Mary too long, he ripped her cell phone away and read aloud what was in the article. Charlotte didn't really listen, although, unlike everyone else, she remained sitting lethargically. Then her name was mentioned and suddenly her heart was beating so dangerously loud again that it rustled in her ears. She wondered what he had to say about her.

"Her film partner is the highly trafficked Charlotte Heywood, what was it like working with her?"  
"We're still shooting," said the Hollywood star evasively, and when I asked if she was as good as they said she was, he said   
"Better," but the warping of his mouth probably indicates the opposite..."

Charlotte gasped for breath, hurt. Tom was not really aware of what he had just read out loud and continued reading excitedly. Mary tried to calm Charlotte down.

"You know that's not true."   
Charlotte smiled tortured and thought about the situation in her apartment. How could he?  
"Charlotte, half the stuff in these articles is garbage!"  
"Yeah, sure..." or maybe that's what he is really thinking.

The last day of shooting was coming up, and since Charlotte was the leading actress, she was in every scene, she hardly had time to breathe and when she disappeared to the toilet for a moment, someone was already waiting for her outside the door. Sidney was present, but since he didn't have to shoot, he kept himself in the background. When the last flap fell and the crew applauded and they all hugged each other, Sidney had no choice but to join in.

Charlotte, who felt his presence, could always disappear in time without anyone noticing that she avoided all contact with him. In the end, she couldn't avoid it. Tom insisted that the two main actors stood arm in arm in the middle and the rest of the crew and cast gathered around them for one last photo. He pulled her close and pressed her against his side, but Charlotte avoided eye contact and then immediately pulled away from him.

Since Tom was hogging him for the evening, Sidney couldn't go to Charlotte, who looked really tired. He hoped it was the stressfull and emotionally day and not his fault for her tortured expression on her beautiful face.

Totally exhausted, Charlotte came home. She dropped her bag on the floor next to the front door, went into the bathroom and barely twenty minutes later she was already in her bed, completely unaware that her phone was buzzing, like crazy.


	7. the interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a photoshoot, a party and an interview.  
> But some things are not going as expected....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the comments & kudos an the support.  
> And as you ask so politely and eagerly look for an update..here we go.

Charlotte woke up with a fright, she knew instinctively she had overslept. What a bummer! She stared at her alarm clock for a moment and then flew off to the bathroom. She threw on some clothes, at the last moment she reached for her bag and ran out of her apartment. 

She was a few minutes late for her appointment with Tom at a smaller magazine that had organized a photo shoot. Charlotte had never been a model before, besides the press photos for the respective plays she had been in, and had been quite excited beforehand. However, now that she was busy not appearing completely unprofessional because she was late, she had no time to be nervous.

Since the people on the set were totally relaxed, nobody cared that she was a little late, everyone sat in a comfortable round and drank coffee. When she went into the make-up she was able to relax for the first time since Sidney's visit and while her hair was turned on thick curlers she gave her first interview about this project. 

The first outfit fell soft and light around her body. She felt comfortable and laughed a lot. The photographer praised her for her naturalness and encouraged her. The second outfit was something more than underwear. A lace-trimmed black top, which didn't leave much to the imagination, and wide matching trousers. Although the top covered her breasts only sparsely, she felt strangely comfortable in it and even found herself a bit sexy.

As they were finished, the interview with Tom was also already done and he looked over the photographer's shoulder while he was already doing the first pre-selection.

Charlotte felt completely relaxed, although it was again a long day. In two hours they were all invited to the party that was to complete their project. The thought of a certain person made her heart skip a beat, but then she concentrated again on the people around her.

"I'll send you the photos later," the photographer said to Tom,  
"and I'll pass your selections on to my editor in chief."  
"Cool, thanks man!" Tom exclaimed enthusiastically and when Charlotte and he had said goodbye to everyone he kindly drove Charlotte home.

Mary was stressed because the dress she wanted to wear didn't fit as well as before and she scolded frustratedly. She changed again and then ran into the kitchen to calm down with a glass of water.  
"Relax" mumbled Sidney, who was sitting calmly at the kitchen counter and looked very handsome with his tight sweater and dark jeans.  
"Well, that's easy for you to say." she shook her head and just ran out of the kitchen when she heard the sound announcing a new e-mail on her tablet.

"Oh, Sid, can you look, that'll be the photos!" she shouted while looking for her shoes.  
"What photos?" but by then she had disappeared into the bathroom again. 

Without reading the text in the e-mail, Sidney opened the attachment and while the files were loading, he drank a sip of his water. He looked back at the monitor and he froze. 

His stomach was tingling at the sight of her, it reminded him of the evening in her apartment. The clothes were wide and emphasized her natural style. And her vulnerability. She hadn't answer any of his messages. He hoped she hadn’t read them. It was just too embarrassing. Lost in thought, he clicked through the photos, which were all similar, but also always slightly different. Then came a new motive, it was only one kind of this. It was a portrait of her incredibly beautiful face. She was gorgeous. Even when her eyes looked sad. Sidney had the feeling she was looking right into his soul, so he clicked on the next to escape her knowing eyes. The sight makes his breath hitch.

Oh damn! He reacted so violently to the sight of her that he was completely ashamed. What was wrong with him? His heart was literally racing and his body, that traitor had betrayed him before, but then he had pressed her against the wall and she made those little damn noises that made him go mad. But this? What the hell...

No one was allowed to see this, no! No way they could print that photo. He had to protect her. No one was supposed to see her like this, vulnerable and sexy. She was literally screaming for people to fall in love with her. The guys were gonna be all over her. Just the thought of that made him clench his fists. He pushed himself off the kitchen counter and walked around the room a few times.

"Oh, she's so beautiful!" Arthur's enthusiastic voice came to his ear.  
"What's wrong?" he asked when he saw Sidney's face.  
"We can't release this," Sidney said in a firm businessman's voice. Arthur grinned knowingly, nodded and then said.  
"Sidney, you can't have her all to yourself."  
"What?"  
"Come on!" Arthur stepped forward and shook his head at his older brother.  
"I know you fancy her."  
"But...I...erm..."  
"I was there when you kept talking about her during the massage."  
"Oh, well, I..."  
"Shit! No, I don't believe it." Arthur jumped up and down excitedly, like a child, which got a particularly nice present, and clapped his hands in joy.  
"What?"  
"I can see it in your eyeees...“ he streched the word. „you're head over heels in love with her!"

Sometimes Sidney cursed his brother because he knew him so well. There was no point in lying to him or placating him in any way. All he could do was be honest.

"Shit yeah. But I fucked up." he run his hands through his hair.  
"Sucker," Arthur just said.  
"Yeah, I know. Can you just keep it to yourself?"  
"sure man!"

Tom and Mary came into the kitchen and praised the pictures, but decided to show them to Charlotte before releasing them.

Arriving at the party location, Sidney's gaze went searching for Charlotte. When he couldn't find her, his mood got worse and he had that look on his face like he was pissed off again. He was. Mostly at himself, but also at her a bit, since she hadn't answered his messages, he didn’t want her to read them, but he wished she had. She confused him. It was so frustrating.

After everyone had greeted each other and Tom was about to give a little speech, he saw her. The photos still lingered in his mind, but the sight of her now completely knocked his socks off once again. She took his breath away.

Charlotte was wearing a simple black dress. The sleeves covered her narrow shoulders and the upper third of her thin arms that had wrapped so powerfully around his neck. It was shapely cut, but not too tight, he thought he knew that she did not like too tight clothing.  
The dress went up to the middle of her thighs and her shapely legs seemed endless in black tights and the high shoes she wore. Her hair seemed to be wet and lie soft on her back, like the night in the steam bath. His mouth went dry. The heart in his chest was thumping deeply, and he felt lightly dizzy.

Taken aback by his intensie gaze, Charlotte felt herself blushing. Why was he looking at her, like that? She should be the one who starres him to death, after his odd interview. He was able to give her a bad feeling, even when she felt safe and also she was thinking, she looked fine tonight. Charlotte avoid looking to him any longer and set down on a table with her collegues. 

After a while the people mixed more and more and Charlotte found herself on the dance floor with Arthur, who whirled her around to some old songs. Sometimes he lifted her up honorably than he let her dance, but it was incredibly funny and liberating. At some point her neck hair stood up and she knew exactly who was standing behind her.

"Thank you, Arthur. I'll just..."

she was about to leave the dance floor when Sidney blocked her way and took her hand in his. A thrill went thorugh her at his touch. It felt so right, though she wanted to run away from, she leaned towards him. The music faded into the background, she could no longer hear it. She stared briefly at his face, but his gaze was still so intense that she lowered her gaze and caught on the shape of his shoulder. She could see the upper arm muscles twitching under his tight sweater. She had never known anyone who made a plain dark blue sweater look so sexy. It literally stuck to him and the urge to run her fingers over the muscles underneath was unbearable. Slowly she let her hand slip out of his and took a step back. With a hesitant look to his eyes and a twisted mouth she turned around and walked away.

Sidney nodded he knew he fucked up, but he has to fix it. Now. She is driving him mad. His body reacted in different ways. The heart was aching of his feelings. The wounded look on her face, hurts. He trembled from this little innocent touch and when his mind driftet to the pictures in his head or the memory of the feeling to touch and kiss her... It was something he never felt before. He sould tell her that. Not here, but he had to convince her to talk to him. 

"Oh, Charlotte!" cried Tom, took her arm and dragged her off with him.  
"Tom, what...?"  
"I've set up an interview for you and Sidney for a movie blog."  
"Ahh."  
"this way..."

Charlotte was still busy with her feelings, which her body had to process and at the same time she tried to concentrate of that spontaneous interview.

"Here my dear," Tom pushed her through a curtain "that's Andi, filming the whole thing."  
"Hello, I'm Charlotte." she greeted the young guy who had just adjusted the little camera.  
"Hi, maybe you'd like to sit down?" he asked and pointed to the two-seater. And then adjusted the camera again.

"I'm looking for Sid." called Tom and left Charlotte alone.  
"How many interviews you had?" Andi asked.  
"For this project, it’s the second."  
"Don't be nervous," Andi smiled, "the blog has millions of followers, but it's not live."  
"All right." Charlotte smoothed her dress and hoped that her legs didn't look too fat from the angle of the camera, otherwise she would be told again that she had to lose weight to make a career.  
"If we don't like it, we can cut it." Andi laughed.

Two seconds later the curtain was pulled to the side and Sidney walked through as if he owned the whole place. His broad shoulders hardly seemed to fit into the room. All the air seemed to have disappeared. Charlotte heard herself gasping for breath. How could anyone look so angry and be so damn hot at the same time? She felt the tingle creep slowly through her body. Her cheeks were glowing. Like a flash, the memories of his hands and his body on hers ran through her mind. She slid excitedly back and forth in her seat. She kept smoothing her dress.

The small wrinkle between Sidney's eyes deepened when he looked at Charlotte full of concern. He was glad she was not alone in this. He wished Tom had not do that. Something bad would come of it, he knew it deep in his gut. With a nod of his head he greeted Andi and then he sat down next to Charlotte and looked at her. He wanted to take her in his arms and carry her out of here. He had to do everything to protect her. He'd rather be the cocky ass than let some stupid question shatter her golden heart.

At the thought of carrying her out of here, his head drifted towards her apartment again.  
Oh, damn, how he longed to be alone with her. She glanced at him for a moment and as they were being watched, he smiled.

She was so weak! Charlotte thought. One crooked smile from him and she was lost. If she hadn't been sitting, her knees might have given way. Scumbag! He probably laughed so hard inside that he could manipulate her like that, but Charlotte wouldn't let him. She stretched out her back, took a deep breath and asked Andi if it was okay the way she was sitting.

"Yeah, sure, your legs are awesome." Sidney had to agree with the fool, she was beautiful.  
"Don't be so nervous." Sidney's dark baritone came to her ear and a shiver ran down her spine. If he had not been so worried, he would have noticed.  
"try to be as honest as you can, but also keep things to yourself." he tried to calm her down.  
"I know how to do that," she snapped back. Unperturbed, he kept talking,  
"if you're at a loss, have a drink to stall for time or look at me, I'll try to respond."  
"Thanks, I know exactly how to do it. Now stop it, you're making me nervous." 

She turned away from him and Sidney stared at her. Why did her words put a smile on his face?  
„Alright.“

He wanted so desperatly to be alone with her, the feeling overwhelmed him and he asked annoyed when it would finally start.

"E will be right there," said Andi and as if it was a secret sign, Eliza Campion came through the curtain. Sidney groaned inside, always wanting to make the big entrance. He was curious to know what extremely interesting questions the silly goose had prepared.

"Hello, you two."  
Eliza came rushing into the room expecting to be greeted properly. But her two guests remained seated. Sidney looked quite pissed, as he usually does when dealing with stupid girls, and the silly brat at his side seemed quite intimidated and nervous. Anyway, she had a plan. 

„I am Eliza Campion, model, actress and host for this show.“ 

she hold her hand to Charlotte, who took it and said hello in her typicall charming way. Sidney could barely bring himself to say hello, that's all he was capable of.

First Eliza spoke her greeting countless times, either she got muddled up by Charlotte's name or she didn't like something else. Sidney bit his theeth together, the muscle in his jaw was always visible and Charlotte wanted to stroke her fingers through his stubble to calm the muscle.

"I think it fits now!" exclaimed Andi, who apparently noticed that Sidney was about to jump up. Even if they should support the film, they would get new followers just because of Sidney. A win-win situation, like Tom Parker explained to them a few weeks ago.

Sidney didn't know exactly what all this nonsense was about. He was furious with Tom, because he had told him that he didn't want to work with Eliza again. She had lied and had not even stopped at their fathers funeral. He didn’t like her. He didin’t trust her, she had destroyed his trust in all his young colleagues. He was on guard.

Most of the questions were directed to Charlotte, because she was the newcomer, and Eliza, or rather E. as she called herself now, talked about this fact again and again. And Charlotte tried to defend herself by explaining again and again how many projects she had already been involved in.

"Are there any other questions?" Sidney asked annoyed. He wanted Eliza to push it further so that they could finally leave.  
"Of course," she said kindly, and he looked at her with little eyes, and the bad feeling wouldn't go away.

Then followed some questions that really concerned the production, the locations, the costumes. How hard it was to breathe in the corsets and whether Charlotte liked the dresses. Normally Sidney would have switched off mentally long ago, but he was mentally full on it, he didn't want to miss to jump to Charlotte's side if neccessary.

"How was it to have your first kiss?" 

Eliza asked in a pointed voice. A short pause in surprise, a sip of the water, before Charlotte answered let him look at her and she seemed more nervous, than the last question, which was about the underwear of the time the movie was playing.

"My first movie kiss was interesting." She smiled.  
"Sounds boring." Eliza laughed her fake laugh and then said to Sindey  
"didn't try hard enough?"  
"Movie kisses are never romantic, Eliza. Even you should know that." he hoped it would shut her up.

"Was your first movie kiss also your first real kiss?" she asked Charlotte as if she was talking about the weather, a grin played around her narrow mouth.

"No."  
"Hmm, and how was your first real kiss?" she asked again, addressed to Charlotte, who blushed with unbelievable charm and laughed embarrassingly for a moment.

"Better." she put a lock of her hair behind her ear and pulled a face at the memory.

Oh, how he would like to know who was the guy who was the first. He was jealous of this lucky stranger. To be the first to touch her... Oh, his mind was about to drift away again.

"What have you in common with your character?" Eliza asked him and at last there was a chance to talk about his beloved character. But it was only an act. Eliza was not interested. He could tell that by the fact that she didn't ask about further, but looked at her cards in her lap. 

"But unlike your character, you've never fallen in love with someone so close?"  
Sidney tried to be cool, but he just couldn't take it anymore and growled,  
"No, never." Except for the woman next to me, he thought, but he didn't want to make things worse. Charlotte closed her her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, his words hurt, why she couldn’t say.  
Then Eliza asked Charlotte what she has in common with her character, and she told Eliza enthusiastically about her role.

"...and the joy of dancing, I think." Charlotte smiled happily, she loved her character.  
"well..." Eliza began, "one of the most important things you have in common is the lack of experience."

"Oh again?" Sidney rolled his eyes in annoyance. Her supposedly non-existent experience in the business, Eliza looked at her papers as if she was reading a really important question.

"Sidney!" she laughed. "you silly boy, I mean of course the lack of sex experience." 

Sidney noticed Charlotte stiffing up next to him and took another sip of water. Her hands were shaking.

"Doesn't it feel strange to be the one in the room with the least experience?" Eliza's voice was cutting and Sidney saw Charlotte's eyes widening in shock. But she caught herself before he could say anything.

"You're right, Eliza. I'm pretty inexperienced in this, but I'd rather be like this than the other way around." she smiled.  
Eliza flinched briefly as it was said about her having a other man by her side every week. She had to admit, little Miss Heywood was good, but she would win. She always got what she wanted.

"I guess there was no opportunity." she asked nicely.

Sidney's mind went crazy. Suddenly all her more intimate scenes flooded through his mind. Her nervousness, her uncertainty, her cold hands. Her big eyes, like she was scared. But he had to admire her strength, she was incredible. Eliza looked at her triumphantly. Charlotte stuck her chin up.

"And?" Eliza asked Charlotte.  
"No," she replied in a strong voice "not yet."

Sidney tried not to stare at Charlotte. He wanted to jump to her side, but did not know how.  
As Tom rushed in, he closed his eyes in relief. He'd never been so glad to see his brother.

"Sorry, folks" he said rushed. "but Charlotte, we need you to approve the photos."  
"Sure." she told him in a calm voice, said a general "bye" and disappeared with Tom.

Sidney starred at Eliza with so much hate, that Andi instinclivly came a few steps closer.

„What was that about?“ he asked with clenched teeth when he stood up. He was an imposant man, but Eliza seemed not impressed.  
„You pissed, ’cause you didn’t know?“ she ask with a devil smile on her not longer pretty face „are you not...friends?“  
Sidney knew, she wanted something, he had known before. How he wanted to punsh someone. Mostly Tom.

"Give me the memory card," he growled at Andi, who looked intimidated at Eliza.

"Not a chance," she said in a flattering tone, "there are several cameras here." she pointed around the room, holding up a Dictaphone, which was hidden unnoticed under her papers.  
"Also a direct line to our offices." It was an outright lie, but Sidney didn't notice.

"What do you want?" he asked in such a dark voice that it sent a cold shiver down Eliza's spine, but she didn't dare show him her weakness.

"Well, that's the question I wanted to hear."


	8. exhausted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is very exhausted and want to be alone and Sidney would love to hit somebody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to breathe.

Everything was in a blur. Charlotte was pulled into a corner by Tom and Mary held the tablet with the pictures under her nose. Mary had made a choice and, trusting Mary, she nodded and tried to smile, but wasn't sure if it wasn't just a grimace. On the other hand, it didn't matter. She had to get out of here. 

"Darling, is everything all right?" Mary asked anxiously when they were alone again.  
"Yeah, sure."  
Charlotte nodded and searched the room with her eyes, she had to manage somehow to get her coat and bag unnoticed, she just wanted to leave.  
"Really? You look so pale." Mary had a bad feeling, Charlotte seemed to be beside herself.  
"Yes, I just need some fresh air," Charlotte said, saying goodbye.

Just as she was making her way to her things, Sidney appeared on the other side of the room. His searching eyes found hers. The crease between his eyebrows was deep and he looked as if he wanted to scream out in rage. He was probably angry with her. But at that moment, Charlotte didn't care. She didn't care what he thought, what anybody thought. Why should she care? Her life was the way it was, and she'd never felt like she was missing anything. She'd made friends, but she'd never felt more for anyone. ...until now. But that didn't matter either. 

She turned her eyes away and started pushing her way through people. Her heart was pounding wildly because she had the feeling that Sidney was coming towards her. She didn't feel like it, really. Any kind of whistle that she had said too private things or to be mocked by him, how stupid she was to say something like that or anything else, she didn't feel like it. She wanted to go home. Not just to her little apartment, she really wanted to go home. But that was not possible.

She looked again in the direction she suspected Sidney to be and saw to her satisfaction that Tom was at his side, dragging him towards someone who looked important. It was only at the very last moment that he let his eyes drop from her and in his gaze lay a message that she was too tired to interpret. Since they were playing the song the crew had played every morning when they were shooting in the studio and everyone was standing on the dance floor singing along, Charlotte thought she could run away unseen. But then she was grabbed by the arm and dragged onto the dance floor. Charlotte shot up, but it was only Susan. 

"What's wrong dear?" she asked, but since it was so loud and Charlotte just wanted to leave, she muttered that she was tired.

Sidney would like to break something. He was on the verge of cracking up. When he went looking for Charlotte after the deal he'd made with Eliza, he'd immediately seen she was still in shock. She was all pale and her body language was erratic. It must have been for her as if she'd been run over by a train. He had to get to her. Tell her that everything would be fine. A cold fear crept up his back, he was so worried about her. He had to know that she was okay. Somehow. 

There she stood. 

Their eyes met briefly before she turned away and disappeared into the crowd. Instinctively, he knew what she was gonna to do. She'd want to leave. Of course he could understand that, but she shouldn't be alone.

Sidney cursed Tom inwardly as he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him with him. He had almost caught up with Charlotte, but now he had to talk to one of the invited film distributors. At least long enough for it not to be rude to say goodbye. But luck was finally on his side when the crew song was played and everyone was bawling along and so no more conversation was possible. He asked for a meeting in the next days and said goodbye.

When he had finally made his way through the people, he was sure that she had just seen her with Susan, but he had apparently been mistaken. Crap.

"She has left." Susan's voice came to his ear.  
Sidney turned to her with a fake smile and raised her eyebrows in question.  
"Don't pretend, I'm not blind." she said and patted his arm as she came closer.  
"I know you want to get after her as soon as possible, but I think she needs a little time."  
"Did she say anything?"  
Susan shook her head.  
"only she had to make an urgent phone call."

Charlotte didn't really know how she got home. Everything seemed to have flown past her somehow. No sooner had she closed the door than she let herself slide down it. She was so exhausted, she felt like she was never able to get up again.

A muffled thought in the back of her head told her alarmed that she had tipped the taxi driver too much, but the thought vanished immediately when what had happened came over her. This woman was unbelievable. How can someone be like that? But before she could pursue the thought, the all-important question came to her mind.  
How did she know? 

Charlotte certainly would have had opportunities, so she couldn't have thought it up by herself. She had also flirted, but unlike her best friend, she was not a girl for one-night stands. She always had the romantic idea of only taking that step when she was really in love. And that had never happened. Until now. This stupid shit...

She had to talk to her sister. Her closest confidante, but since it was late, she couldn't call her. Her parents were strict about that. No phone calls after ten. So only her best friend remained, even though she was with her sick aunt and probably had other worries.

Charlotte moaned when she saw her phone had gone dead. She couldn't really remember the last time she looked at it, either. Oh, yeah, right! When she had been staring at it stupidly every thirty seconds, hoping he would call or write a message after his strange appearance. How could everything go totally to hell in a few days?

She pulled herself up and looked for the charger cable. She plugged it in and went into the bathroom. After she had removed her make-up and changed her clothes, she came back into the room and was surprised to see hundredfortyeight messages on her mobile. Oh crap! Hopefully nothing had happened!

Ignoring everything else, she first opened Alli's. They were the normal messages she always got from her little sister. Short updates from home, some gifs or funny pictures. Since Ali knew that she sometimes didn't answer for days, no worried messages came, only at the end were such messages like,

"hey sis, you okay?"  
"has Hollywood kidnapped you?"  
"or your hot colleague, what was his name?"  
and then some funny pics from some people who all didn't look like Sidney at all. Charlotte had to smile. Her sister always managed to cheer her up. The last ones, however, made Charlotte's heart beat louder.

"Hey sis, there's always somebody calling from a show that wants an interview. With me!!"  
A scared emoji. Then the link to the blog. Charlotte closed her eyes.  
"check in."  
"Sis, please, I need some advice."  
A few emojies and pics again.  
"Shit, Charlie, I think I screwed up."

A restless feeling seized Charlotte and with trembling fingers she opened the messages from her friend Clara.

"Hey Bunny, there is some chick who keeps calling for an interview. Is she stupid or what? I'm a nobody."  
"well, not a nobody, but you know what I mean."  
"This girl sucks, I blocked her."

Charlotte let out a breath of relief that she had held unconsciously. For a moment she considered deleting the messages from the unknown number. Sure it was her. Did she want to see what this woman had written? She dialed Claras number. Being a nocturnal owl, she hadn't woken her friend.

"What's wrong, Bunny?"  
And that was the signal for Charlotte. She spoke so fast and sobbed so loudly into the phone that Clara partly didn't understand anything. But she didn't ask any questions. She just let Charlotte get it all out.

"Okay, you take a breath and I'll summarize," she said in her soothing voice.  
"ok." Charlotte's voice was all hoarse.  
"You fell for this guy even though you told me otherwise?"  
"Yes."  
"You made out, then he took off, and you haven't said a word to each other since."  
"exactly."  
"and his ex, who isn't his ex, made fun of you in an interview."  
"well..."  
"that's why you're upset, isn't it?"  
"Yes."  
"aha."  
"Clara?"  
"hmm?"  
"please say something."  
"I knew you were lying about him." For a moment Charlotte laughed and the heavy feeling on her chest lifted a little.  
"Can he kiss as well as I think he can?" Charlotte laughed again, it was Clara's gift as well.  
"I'm no expert."  
"Yeah, sure. But was it hot?"  
"well, I mean," Charlotte heart hammered in her chest, at the thought of him pressing his whole body against her.  
"I get it, you don’t have to tell me."  
„he was tender as well.“ Kissing her slowly and looked deep into her eyes. Caressing her face.  
"oh shit."  
"yes." a little tear escaped her eye.  
"and you think Ali had something to do with this interview?"  
"She sent me the page, and later she said she screwed up."  
"shit."

They weren't talking for a while until Clara said,  
"ok, now read the messages from the stupid cow and call me back afterwards."  
"All right."

After a while wander across the room Charlotte sat down at the kitchen counter and opened the messages of the unknown number. At first she was confused, but then her heart was pounding so hard in her chest again that she had to read all the messages again, with the reminder that was the day he came back from Paris...

"The interview was taken out of context."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Really I'm sorry."  
"Please forgive me"  
"Can we talk?"  
"Please."  
"Maybe you don’t have my number. It’s me"  
"the dick."

When the phone rang, she thought for a moment not to answer it until she realized that it was Clara's name flashing.

"What did she want?"  
"It was him."  
"Oh, interesting."  
Then she told her friend about the messages and that she felt like she needed a vacation.  
"Come on over."  
"That would be really cool."  
"Then get your sweet ass over here."  
"I have a few apointments the next days, but after that."

After the twentieth conversation, Sidney finally managed to apologize and leave the party. It was already after midnight. He wondered if he can stop by her place. Would she let him in after she ignored the messages as well? Would she be asleep by now or was she still on edge like he was? He couldn't stop thinking about her pale face. How could anyone treat this treasure like that? He was furious. Today he couldn't and didn't want to say anything to Tom, but tomorrow he would tell Tom all this shit! Well maybe not everything, but in any case he would tell him. 

"Where to?" asked the taxi driver, tearing him from his thoughts.

Charlotte was just about to go to bed when there was a knock on the door. She found a similar picture to the one she had seen a few days before, but was more as surprised as she was then. For a moment she thought about not opening the door or pretending to be asleep, but since he had come all the way here, she decided otherwise. With the most evil eye she could think of, she ripped the door open.

"Can we talk?"


	9. can we talk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is desperate to talk to Charlotte.  
> Charlotte desperately wants him to go.

Sidney looked quite desperate, his forehead was in wrinkles and his gaze was dark. A shiver ran down her body. She was probably just tired, it was not because of him. No! 

Charlotte turned around wordlessly and snuggled up in the dark green blanket her mum had crocheted for her, when she moved out and squeezed herself onto one of the chairs by the kitchen counter. Her legs folded under her cross-legged, she lowered her gaze. It had been a long day. Exhaustion set in, she was endlessly tired.

"Charlotte."  
For a moment she looked up at him and her gaze interlocked with his, then she looked back at her lap. She fumbled around with her fingers on the little knots that were attached to the wool.  
Her dark curls hid her gaze like a curtain, he would love to brush them off her face. Touch her. Caress her soft cheek and tell her that everything would be all right again.

"May I?"

He pointed to the free chair next to her. Nodding, she immediately regretted the moment he sat down that she had allowed him to do so. He was to close. She could smell his aftershave and feel his warmth. Although it somehow calmed her and his presence made her feel safe, she also felt somehow...exposed. He knew her most intimate secret. Well, not the most intimate... knowing that she was in love with him would really be the worst. So infinitely embarrassing and humiliating because he felt nothing for her. She blushed at the thought and turned her head.

"Can't you even look at me anymore?" he asked softly. It hurt so much more than he had ever thought possible that Charlotte could not look at him.  
"You wanted to talk." she remarked instead of answering him. Pain touched his heart.  
He sighed and drove through his hair a few times, that much he wanted to tell her, but maybe it was better that way.

"All right.... erm... the interview in Paris was out of context, I lo...I like working with you....you're even better than what they say about you."   
"do you really think I still care?"  
"I thought that was the reason you were mad." he said lame, not even he believed this lie.

Charlotte glared at him. Sidney cleared his throat, he knew exactly what the real reason was. She was hurt. He had hurt her. Badly. Like a wimp he ran off after kissing her almost senselessly. Just as he had finished the thought, she let out a sarcastically laugh. Probably thinking about how ridiculous he was.

"and erm...about today..." 

Embarrassed, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked in vain for her look. He wanted to take her in his arms, but he couldn't. He had to keep a cool head.   
Feelings were there to be suppressed. Exactly.

Her heart seemed to leap out of her chest at any moment. Hopefully he just said it and left again as quickly as the last time he was here, she thought. Probably find her even dumber and more naive than before. That stupid little girl. Her eyes were tingling and she wiped the tear from the corner of her eye. She didn't care whether he saw it or not.

"I'll take care of it."  
"What do you mean?" she whispered.  
"I’ll... pay...kind of.."  
Startled, she looked at him.  
"What?"  
"She made me an offer." he declared stiffly.  
"What kind of offer?" she asked, and that little wrinkle between her eyebrows was there again and Sidney's finger tickles, he would like to wipe the wrinkle away. Wipe away all worry from her.

"She keeps the story under wraps... when I... well..." he ran his hair through again.  
"When you.... what?" her voice shaking with rage.  
"This is not your problem."   
"Oh, but it is, what does she want?" she moaned. How she could worry about him now was beyond him. Shaking his head, he looked at her.   
"She wants you?" Charlotte's heart contracted and her voice made a little screeching sound.  
Suddenly she had the urge to protect him.

"Tell me exactly!" she demanded.  
"What is there to tell?"  
Charlotte looked at him piercingly, he sighed.

"She said she would keep the story ...if I... if I pretended we were together. She thinks it will make her more popular, because people will finally believe we were together back then."  
"But this is not true!" cried Charlotte desperately and jumped out of her chair. Admiration was growing in him, she was the first woman who didn't doubt him.

"Why are you smiling?" she grumbled.  
"You believe me." A smile.  
"Of course." Like it's the most normal thing in the world.  
"Why?"   
his heart was pounding, hoping she would continue to be honest and not hold anything back. Her gaze was briefly filled with sadness and he knew she did not trust him enough to reveal her true feelings. Why should she? The way he had treated her...  
"I think you saw right through her back then."

After an embarrassing period of silence, Charlotte told him

"The worse it is that you want to sell yourself to her, people will see you as a liar!"   
"I don’t care."  
"But that's not okay." she cried.  
"Yeah, but I don't want her to use the interview against you..." he yelled back.  
"This is my problem, not yours."   
"Charlotte..."  
"No. I mean..." she closed her eyes to bring it just quickly over her lips, she turned away from him.   
"Why is it so bad that I've never...?"  
"It's not bad at all!" he interrupted her. Sidney wanted to make sure that she understood that he did not condemn her in any way or desire her less. But she wouldn’t belive him, afer he ran away from her.

He slipped from his chair and was about to reach for her, but he felt she doesn’t wanted it. It was probably because it was him. The nasty idiot who had pressed her against the wall and kissed her as if there was no tomorrow and than leave her with all this ...feelings.

"Then let her publish it, I don't care... I don't want you to..."  
"Charlotte..."  
"Please...no, I can't...at your expense...this..."  
"it's not just that."

With eyes wide open she turned to him again. Her heart was beating so wildly, the many confused feelings whirled around in her that she could no longer think clearly. His voice was so warm and reassuring. He seemed somehow vulnerable and yet he was so tall, and handsome and so incredibly sexy with that tight sweater. And those eyes she was looking at, unpitying, not regretting...no...it was the same look when he kissed her eyes...so lovely... he suddenly was so close... Oh! Charlotte didn't even noticed that she was standing at the kitchen counter again. Sidney towered over her and the urge to kiss her was overwhelming. His gaze went to her lips and back to her eyes.

To distract himself, he reached into his pocket, he gave her an envelope. Embarrassed, he chewed on his lower lip and looked at her with concern. Charlotte opened the envelope and her hands shook wildly as she spread the photos out in front of her.

"What the hell...?"

Shocked, she sat down and looked at the pictures. They were slightly blurred, but you could see everything clearly. Her old pyjamas. Their angry faces that showed they were arguing. Concern. Feelings.   
All the feelings of the evening came crashing down on her like a great wave, mixed with shame. With regret that she had opened herself to him. To let her walls down, let him in. That she was not smarter than her stupid heart. Her cheeks were blushed before, but now they were burning brightly.

One of the photos captured the moment when he grabbed her. It seemed... greedy. The next one showed the moment when he pushed her against the wall. Her left leg had wrapped around his right one, she couldn't remember that! But just remembering his lips on her, made her stomach tingle and tickle deeper. Oh damn! She was only supposed to feel anger.

"That..." She couldn't find the words.  
"I know." 

Shocked, she got stuck on one of the more harmless pictures, it showed Sidney looking down on her like he was in awe...or in... No of course not! He was looking.... It was probably the moment when he realized what he had done and he deeply regretted it.   
Yes! it must have been in that very moment.

"I'm sorry."   
She knew what he meant, of course.  
"All right," she was playing around on the kitchen counter with a crumb of bread.  
"it's better if we..." he stared at her hand so much he wanted to grab it.  
"Good“, she cut in "...glad we cleared that up." whispering in a broken voice and Sidney had to supress a sob as he remembered similar words of her, after they kissed. She cleared her throat. "anything else?"

Sidney looked at her with concern. But she surprised him by suddenly jumping up again and hurrying to the door.

"From the angle, it must have been done by Mrs. Heriett...."  
"Charlotte."  
"What? That's just... I mean, why would she do that? She's old... she couldn’t...." 

Her breathing was much too fast, she hyperventilated. It was to much. To much feelings. Confusion. The room whirled around her and she saw colourful stars dancing at the edge of her field of vision. She could hardly breathe, she felt light. The next moment she was lying in his arms.

"Where's your bed?" His voice vibrated in her.  
"I won't let you....." she protested weakly, yet, stupid as she was, she pressed her face into his chest and inhaled his scent.  
"I’ll find it anyway." 

A short moment later he put her in her bed.   
"I'll be ...." He pointed at the door.  
"don't you dare leave now." she called out but it was barely a whisper as she tried to sat up. But she was so lightheaded that she immediately sank back onto her pillow. Sidney disappeared for a moment, but came back with a glass of water immediately.

While she was having a sip he looked down on her as if she was something precious. How could he look at her like that and not feel anything? It was so unfair. She would have loved to burst into tears. But she was not allowed to think about that now, he was not allowed to see that she was totally smitten. Charlotte put her arms over her face, she wished he would just go away.

"Charlotte."  
"Just go."  
"Please, I have to..."  
"No, just go away." Damn it, why did he have to see her like that?  
"Charl..."  
"Please, just leave me alone."   
"I can't..."  
"Why not?" suppressing a sob got harder with every breath.  
"I... erm..."

She breathed out laughing, it sounded more like a tearful moan. First he hesitated, but then he kneeled down and tried to push her arm away from her face.

"Don't..."

Too ashamed to torture her further, he let his hand sink and leaned with his back against the edge of her bed. Though she could only see his neck, as she lifted her arms, various emotions she thought to recognize on him. Anger. Frustration. Maybe shame....

"What do you want from me?" she whispered.   
"I want you to leave." he breathed. He couldn’t tell her what he really wanted.  
„If you don’t want to be here, you have to leave!“ her voice was weak and she hated it.  
„I didn’t mean..“  
„You came to me after all...“ her anger and strength were coming back.  
„Let me explain...“  
„I don’t want to hear....“  
„Go on vacation, and let me take care...“

The look he gave her seemed as if he would take care of her...she closed her eyes again and shook her head. Desperate she begged.

„Please. I want to be alone..it’s to much..it...“ Hurts.

"I have a plan.“  
"You have a plan?" now her curiosity was back.  
"Now, if you'll let me, I'd like to explain..."

After I had told her what he wanted to do, he went back into the kitchen to get her another water. When he came back, she was asleep. He didn't believe she was faking it. Not only was she being the honest person he ever met, but she was exhausted.   
Sidney hoped his plan would work and the press would leave her alone. He was hoping to do everything right. Charlotte would talk him out of it if it was complete nonsense, he was sure of that. But now that she was asleep, he could no longer ask her. 

He continued to pull the blanket over her and stroked her cheek so timidly that she probably would have hardly felt it even if she had been awake. The feelings he had for her went beyond anything he had ever felt for another woman. He sat down again in his place, next to her bed. Staying here a little longer to make sure she was fine. Yeah, that would be all right, wouldn't it? Wouldn't she rather he was gone when she woke up? Or would she be hurt, if he leave her alone, again?

Should he go or should he stay?


	10. linger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long, but with the madness out there, it took me a little longer to find a quiet moment.  
> Hope you find a bit peace to read.
> 
> Keep well!

Eliza Campion fell into bed very drunk. Not only had she too much alcohol, but she was also completely intoxicated by her success. 

Sidney Parker was always worried about everyone and very protective. Eliza had believed that he would show up at the little girl's flat after the boat accident and then she had could make a story out of it. That he would smooch her down, ha! Who would have thought that! The man who never gets involved with a colleague...   
She wanted to blackmail him with the photos, Ivi had taken. So he can offer her the career she deserved. 

But that this silly brat told her her sister's secrets was sheer madness! Even though Eliza was terribly annoyed not to have it on tape. Clever as she was, she had asked the questions in such an incomprehensible way that this stupid country girl couldn't talk her way out of it.   
A virgin! That was the best!

Like a win in the lottery! With this knowledge this story could open up completely different possibilities for her.  
At the top of her lungs she laughed out and kicked with her legs on the mattress until she was completely out of breath.

She had to inflate the story even more. Yes! talk to the papers and announce a huge revelation. She would probably finally have the success she deserved. A television show of her own! Sidney Parker who never has a longer relationship just wanted to fuck a virgin!

Of course he had reproached her and yes he had made her talk about her old lies. But finally he belived the story of the direct line and multiple cameras. How stupid he was.

And finnaly he crawled on the floor in front of her just like everyone else...she had to convince so far. Though in the back of her mind lingered the small gnawing thought of why Sidney was so calm....

It was warm. Charlotte was lolling in her bed. She felt safe and secure. She stroked her hair from her face and enjoyed the image that lingered in her mind. Sidney's face. As he looked over his shoulder, with that forbidden smile and the unreadable look in his eyes. The feelings in her stomach were crawling through her body in all directions. Her heart rose as Charlotte gave in to her fantasy and she felt his hands on her again.

No, she really shouldn't do that! She opened her eyes. He had only been here because he felt responsible. Somehow. He would have done the same with anyone else. It had nothing to do with her. Charlotte moaned and pulled herself up. She slurped into the bathroom and while she brushed her teeth her thoughts kept drifting back to the events of the previous evening. Sidney as he took her hand on the dance floor. That terrible person. Eliza. The questions. Her conversation, the photos, his strong chest pressed against her cheek as he carried her to bed.   
How he explained to her that the press would never leave her alone. Any man at her side would potentially be her "first". Hardly anyone could bear to be scrutinized by the press.

„I could handle it, but...“ he said pressing his eyes shut.

Their eyes met and Charlotte had to blink a few times because she was not sure what he meant by these statement. He could deal with the press because he had so much experience with? He could handle being her ....boyfriend? At those thought, her body started to respond again. Far too quickly, her heart raced. She got goose bumps as she remembered the question which lingered in her mind, did he mean the fact that he would be her... first? Excitement took over her body.

"Stop!" she scolded. "Stop imagining what isn't!" 

Frustrated, she undressed and took a shower. The hot water glided over her body and her mind was drifting away again, these feelings he triggered in her were so new and so frustrating. Charlotte closed her eyes and imagined him standing with her in the shower. How he tenderly held her face in both hands and looked lovingly into her eyes. How he slowly moved closer and gently touched her lips. The tingling in her stomach continued to slide down and for a short moment she gave herself to her dreams.

The cold of the tile on her forehead brought her back to reality and she breathed out with a sigh. ’I will survive that, too. Somehow!' she courageously said to herself and began to sing, like she always did in the shower. 

Sidney stared out the window. It was raining. Arthur would now joyfully announce...   
"a day to stay home and nestle in and watch movies without end."   
How Sidney would have loved to nestle in her bed and pull her to him. The idea to embrace her tender warm body. Inhale the scent of her hair as she would snuggle her face to that soft spot on his neck. The thoughts drifted briefly to things he wanted to do with her besides cuddling. But he shook them off immediately. He had to concentrate on other things.

But his mind went back to her, like always. She looked so vulnerable, under her blanket, which she had pulled up to her chin. The guilt wound around his heart. Could he have spared her the experience? Her expression radiated some strength. He was sure she would survive even if he hadn't done anything about it. Against that bitch Eliza.

„It will better if we talk properly.“ he told her. No secrets, at least in this case.

Before she had fallen in sleep, his resistance almost crumbled. The way she had smiled supportively at him. The dimmed light of her bedside lamp conjured a warm glow on her skin. Her small hand had reached for his arm and his body had already tense with anticipation as she thought about it and pulled her hand back. Her eyes so full of feeling. Big and dark, like the hot liquid chocolate she loved so much. Sensual and profound. Time had stretched noticeably and it was on the tip of his tongue. The words that would have redeemed or even more intimidated her.

Frustrated, he let his breath out and the window fogged up in front of him. She had responded to him that night at her apartment. Surprised for a moment, but than she had kissed him back. It was only when he saw the photos that he remembered that feeling. Her leg wrapped around him. Firm and somehow possessive. She was exhilarating. 

Charlotte had tugged at him shyly and yet impatiently. Tentatively, but powerfully embraced his neck. Her lips were so soft and her moans so arousing. As he carefully pushed his tongue through her lips, she became calm. The way she tasted and felt. It had been so wonderful. He had never experienced anything like that.   
This tingling sensation was not only taking over his heart. His mind was also prickling. Actually he was surprised and somehow not that he had could control himself and stopped the kiss. Not stroking her tongue had cost him strength and yet it was the best he could do. He had feared that the horny part of him could not be stopped. But he didn't want that. Charlotte was so much more than that.

Even before he knew what he knew now, he didn’t want to scaer her. He wanted more.   
Love her. Worship her and her body. Make love to every single inch of her. If only he knew if she felt the same. In hindsight, he wasn't so sure. Since she has never... maybe she was just overwhelmed by the physical, mutual attraction...the awakening of her body and her sexuality.   
If he had told her the three words that had been buzzing around in his heart and head for some time, could he be sure she could handle them? Would she want it? Would she want him?  
Uncertain if she felt anything for him at all, rather unimaginable that she could trust him enough to love him back. Could he handle it if she rejected him?

Sidney still lingered in Charlotte's thoughts while she put on her bathrobe. She needed to distract her mind off it and him somehow. Call Alison and just focus on the plan. Forget Sidney Parker. That's why she kept saying to herself.   
"I'm not in love with Sidney Parker. No longer in love with Sidney Parker..."   
The urgent need to drink a coffee drove her into the kitchen.  
"not in love with Sid... PARKER!" 

Sidney turned away from the window and had to gasp for breath. The way she stood there. Cuddled up in a bathrobe that looked much too big on her petite frame. The trick his mind played him again as he imagined how he would slowly undo this knot at her waist. Digging his hand in the wet mess of her hair. Touch her her beautiful face. 

Sidney cleared his throat.

Her eyes were still wide open in surprise. A slight blush lay on her cheeks and let her eyes shine even more. Lips slightly open. Apparently she hadn't expected him to still be there.

"Good morning." a slight smile played around his mouth.  
"yes..." Charlotte's heart was beating wildly in her chest and shame crept into her cheeks when she realized he was in her kitchen while she was in her shower. And what she imagined...Embarrassed, she twitched her eyes shut. She wondered if he had heard her singing. Then she stared at him again, oh no! Hopefully he had not heard what she had just said....

"Charlotte."   
Oh no! "Yes?"   
"I made coffee."  
"Oh." she couldn't stop staring at him. 

He exhaled with a laugh for a moment and walked around her kitchen counter, then poured her a coffee. It was only when he handed her the mug that she could move.  
"Thank you." 

The butterflies in her stomach were dancing all at once by the smile he gave her. First his eyes and then his whole face smiled, she couldn't help but grin. Their gaze briefly locked with his as he asked

"And are you leaving?" He pulled a face, he didn't want her to leave, but it was part of the plan.

"I was going to visit a friend, anyway."   
"Friend?" Jealousy cut in his heart.  
"Clara, she's with her aunt."  
"Is it far...?"  
"Bath."   
"Eliza thinks she's won, when you're running away."   
"I know." Charlotte understood the game.

Charlotte came a step closer and put the cup down behind him. Her proximity surprised him and suddenly several thoughts came to his mind at once. He could just grab her and kiss her, or let this moment pass and she would probably disappear into her room.

"You don't think too badly of me, do you?" he asked hesitantly.

And then she surprised him and herself when she suddenly broke the distance between them and pushed her arms around his middle. 

"Why should I?“

Her face lay on his chest and he put his chin down on her head. His heart was beating so wildly and this time he was sure she could hear it. His arms lay slightly on her back, he closed his eyes.

“You beat her with her own game." 

she mumbled in his chest, while she detached herself as she slowly became aware of what she was doing. Strengthened his embrace a little, just to show her that he did not want to let go of her yet, Sidney breathed

„I....“

But before he could say anything more Charlotte craned up to him and kissed his cheek. Taken aback he loosened his grip and she disapeared in her bedroom.


	11. busy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney are very busy this day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but life got in the way.  
> Hope I can update faster next time.
> 
> Stay safe!

Sidney stared at the door she had disappeared in and touched the spot she had kissed. He probably imagined it, but it was tingling. The thought that she was now changing behind this door kept him from storming after her. He walked slowly to the door and was slightly annoyed that the creaking of the floorboard betrayed that he was standing outside her door.

"Charlotte?" He knocked quiet on her door.  
"I can't..." she shouted as she put her bathrobe back on, maybe he would come into the room. Overwhelmed by her cheeky actions, her heart was still pounding violently in her chest.

"Okay, I...erm..." his hand hovered over the doorknob, but of course he wouldn't dare go in.  
"You can go...I am fine." she said in a shaky voice as she went back to the door, but did not open it. She wished she had the courage to open it, but she was still surprised at herself for the embrace and kiss. He hadn't pushed her away but had strengthened his embrace. That was a good sign. At least they could be friends.

"I... All right." Sidney leaned his forehead against the door. It would be better to go, she had to phone her sister and find out what exactly was said so that they would be prepared for all eventualities. But he couldn't go without knowing...

"Are you coming later?" he asked quietly, she would not have heard it if she had not been standing directly behind the door. His heart was beating up to his neck. Please say yes, please say yes!

"Sure."

Sidney let out a breath of relief. She would come, and then they would have to talk about the latest developments. That was good.  
"Than I'll see you later."

Half an hour later Charlotte picked up the phone and tried to reach Allison.

"...I just told the chick you never had a boyfriend."  
"Ali, I'm not angry with you. Okay? Just tell me everything that was said so I just know what to be prepared for."  
"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Hearing her little sister cry almost made Charlotte want to leave her alone, but she couldn't, she had to know.  
"I...I don't know, she asked not directly..."  
"Yes, she's good at that." Charlotte said sarcastically, finally getting her sister to give a full report of the phone call from Eliza.  
"...she then somehow said if you had many one night stands and then of course I defended you and said that you don't do that kind of thing but wait for real love."  
"So she had her answer." Charlotte closed her eyes briefly.  
"I'm so sorry, Charlie."  
"It's okay, Ali."  
"How are you gonna stop her from making a story out of this?"  
"Sidney has a plan."  
"It's totally cute the way he's taking care of it. Takes care of you." Her sister's voice got a dreamy sound.  
"He's only doing this because he thinks it's somehow his fault." Charlotte explained.  
"Bullshit."

"Ali,...."  
"Then he wouldn't have spent all night next to your bed." she interrupted.  
"He didn't."  
"How do you know that? You were asleep and he..."  
"Stop it!"  
"What, you think he spent the night in one of your uncomfortable chairs?"  
"No...but..."  
"what?" asked Alison, who sensed that Charlotte still had something on her mind.  
"it would have been weird if he was lying next to my bed."  
"Not if he loves you."  
"Ali!"  
"I'm telling you, he's in love with you."  
"Stop it!"  
"Otherwise he would have left." her sister insisted.  
"Oh, but..."  
"He made coffee for you."  
"He had one, too."  
"He was in your shower..."  
"After sleeping on the floor all night, he can do that."  
"Ha!"  
Shit. The thought warmed her body. She should ask him about it tonight.  
"Ali?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Promise me one thing."  
"Everything." her sister said sheepishly.  
"Don't give any more interviews."

After she hung up, Charlotte got ready for the appointment with her agent. She had only hinted that a magazine wanted to do a story with her that would come out around the date of the premiere. What exactly was planned, she didn't know yet, though. It would be good, to be distracted, when she came back from her trip.

Sidneys sat in Tom's office in Bedford Place and massaged his aching neck. Normally, it would annoy him completely, but he couldn't help but enjoy the pain somehow. Because it made him realize what he had done. He'd been sitting by her bed half the night. At first he had watched her sleeping. Then he was so ashamed that he did that, so he sat at the kitchen counter. Then he had sat down again on his place next to her bed and stared at the opposite wall. At some point he had fallen asleep, with his head on the mattress. In the earlier hours of the morning he climbed into her shower to wash off his tiredness. He had quite unseemly thoughts and almost wished she would find him there. But of course he was glad that she didn't. It would only complicate the whole thing more and there was too much at stake.

When he went out into the garden to get some fresh air, he lost himself in daydreams again. What would have happened if he hadn't let go of her? If he had run after her? But he had to be satisfied that she would come to Arthur's party this evening. Since they had a lot to talk about, perhaps they were alone for a moment somewhere... He was still chasing that thought when his phone rang.

"Babington!"  
"I found out who took the pictures." said his friend.  
"Who?" Sidney asked in a tense tone.  
"Ivi."  
"Shit, this is tough..." Sidney's brain was playing out all the possibilities when he was interrupted.  
"Eliza's planning to make it big."  
"That's what I thought." The anger came over him. But if all goes according to plan, her fall would be unstoppable.  
"She set up some interviews. It's not so much about the girl..."  
"Charlotte." he said her name in a lower tone and his friend noticed.  
"yes..it's not about this lovely girl, it's about you."  
"Let me guess.... I am a bastard?"  
"Something like that."

Sidney moaned and ran his hand through his hair. That the task of getting the photos would be difficult, he had thought, but that's why he had to sit down with Charlotte later and think of something. Although the topic were embaressing, he was looking forward to talking to her.

"How do the other things work?" he asked.  
"Eliza only glanced at the material briefly. Since she's too busy" Babington mimicked her voice, "I don't think she wants to look at it at all."  
"But maybe she will?" Sidney asked nervously.  
"I don't think so. She never does. And she's had other scandals on the damn show."  
"I know.“ Sidney’s mind briefly driftet to the scandal about the siblings in love, which wasn’t siblings. Only step siblings.  
"Do you know what she’ll tell the magazines?" Sidney's heart was pounding with excitement, hoping fervently that he was right about Eliza. Calculating and clever in a distorbing way.

"She'll just give hints so everyone will click her show online. And she's getting ready for questions on the red carpet."  
"Our premiere?"  
"Yes, so that then the big scandal is in all the media the next day and she's the number one topic of conversation."

Both laughed for a moment. If everything goes according to plan, the media would be filled with the truth. That Eliza Campion was a calculating, nasty bitch.

"When this shit is over, I'm looking forward to a cold beer at James'," Sidney said to his old friend.  
"But in the room with the non-existent cameras!" both laughed uproariously and were confident of stopping Eliza.  
"Hey Sid, I gotta go. My daughter wants me to play with her."  
"All right, take care, Babs. Say hello to Esther."  
"Erm and Sid", his friend told him "don't screw it up with the beautiful girl with the awesome legs."  
"I'm afraid, it’s too late, Andi!"

After her appointment with her agent, Charlotte had another casting session. Since it took longer than originally thought, she went straight to Bedford Place. Mary greeted her effusively at the door and pushed her into the living room. There were some of Arthur's friends there, besides the Parkers and they were all dancing happily to classics of the '80s. She looked around the room, but she didn't see Sidney. Her heart sank at the thought, because they actually wanted to talk to each other again before she went to Bath for a few days. Arthur grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the middle of the room to dance. Since Charlotte loved to dance and usually forgot her worries and everything around her, she let herself be carried away.

Sidney came running down the stairs from his room and, lost in thought, handed his sister the old CDs she had wanted, when he saw Charlotte dancing with Arthur. She had an unbelievable sense of rhythm and laughed so heartily that his heart became very light. He was so happy that she didn't let the circumstances spoil her joy of life, he really could still learn a lot from her. The smile on his face was so unexpected that even Diana noticed it.

As so often before, Charlotte sensed Sidney's presence before she saw him. The warmth crept up her back and spread throughout her body. On the next turn away from Arthur, her gaze interlocked with his and there was this one moment between them. That one clear moment that blanked out everything else. Suddenly, she was pressed back against Arthur. He understood immediately why Charlotte had suddenly lost her rythm.

The music suddelny changed and it was a slow and sexy love song. Arthur left Charlotte standing to dance with his boyfriend.

Sidney could hardly notice what Tom was talking about, when he saw Charlotte standing on the opposite wall, he was under her spell. He was drawn to her like a magnet. This song was playing in the background and he didn't really notice the lyrics until Arthur stopped him and yelled in his ear

„The lyrics, listen to it!“

"That's not subtle, Arthur!" he grumbled in his ear and Arthur just laughed out loud and kept pushing Sidney. For a moment he smiled at Charlotte who moved her lips to the lyrics of the song. Sidney found himself standing in front of her, starring at her beautiful face, her smile faded as he took her hand and pulled her close to him.

They didn’t dance. They stood still, like everything else. The sparks seemed to stop. Only when the words of the song slowly entered his brain did he understand and knew he had to tell her.

„Come on.“

Then he pulled her behind him, but not into his room as he would have wished for the slightest moment. No, he pulled her into the kitchen. There were a few people standing around, but they didn't bother him. They might have been just right, or he would have kissed her at that moment.

When he then turned to her again, he asked her directly what her sister had said. As she didn't want anyone else to hear, she leaned very close to him and her voice tickled his neck when she told him about Ali's phone call with Eliza.  
His aftershave still lingered in the air she was breathing, she just couldn't prevent her body from moving closer to him.

"And you?" she asked restrainedly. She sought his gaze and he smiled at her. Like she had done before, he too had to lean closer and it was as if he was lying down on her, although he didn't touch her anywhere. Only his voice tickled her ear slightly, one hand leaning slightly beside her against the refrigerator they were standing next to.

Breathing became more difficult when he told her the conversation with Andi. Not because of what he said, but how it felt. She still couldn't believe that he had thought so far ahead and that after his conversation with Tom he had infiltrated Eliza with his friend. Unfortunately he couldn't prevent her from making her sister talk. But the interview did not go online the way it was conducted.

"If we don't like it, we can cut it." Charlotte remarked. As Sidney frowned to her she explained.  
"That's what Andi said to me."

They smiled at each other. Sidney's gaze slipped to her lips for a moment, but then immediately jumped back to her eyes. His proximity was so intoxicating, Charlotte had to stop not closing her eyes and leaning closer.

"Thank you." her voice a light whisper.  
"Hmm?" in his head buzzed the fragments of the song Arthur had played and her lips were so close and she smelled so good, he wasn't really able to think straight.  
"...that you cared."

Her dark eyes seemed so soft. He lost himself in them and leaned slightly closer. Charlotte's heart felt it before she knew it herself. The air around them changed, the noise in her ears became louder and she saw his lips move. She stared at them briefly and then back into his almost black piercing gaze. Sidney leaned even closer, and Charlotte's eyes fluttered shut as if by magic as she thought to protect her heart and took a step back.

They stared at each other.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and the pain of rejection lay in his gaze. She turned away, closed her eyes briefly and then said.

"I'm... I'm not doing this again."  
"What?" he asked irritated.  
"I'm not letting you kiss me again."  
"But..."  
"No. It's okay. I just... can't do this."  
"Charlotte..." he reached for her.  
"No. It's not me."

The next moment she turned around, but he would be damned if he would let her go this time. He stopped her before she could leave the kitchen and dragged her out onto the terrace with him.

"We've got to sort this out." he said calmy.  
"There is nothing to sort out..."  
"Charlotte, what... happened back in your apartment..."

She turned to him, with that little wrinkle between her eyebrows and Sidney was so distracted again that he almost didn't hear her words.

"I know. You don't do this, and it wasn't planned," she grumbled.  
He pulled a face.  
"But the truth is, I don't do this," She kept pointing back and forth between them.  
"Charlotte..."  
"It doesn't mean anything."  
Shocked, he squeezed his eyes together and tears tickled behind his eyelids, that's what he had feared, but to hear it from her mouth was the worst.  
"At least not to you. But for me... and I..."

"What?" did he hear right? But that's impossible!

Charlotte closed her eyes.’I am strong. I can handle it' she said to herself as she breathed. She wasn't that brave to look at him, but she had to get it out of her chest or her heart would explode. Then the shame and pain would set in, but she had to get rid of it. She could. She was not ashamed. She was never ashamed of her feelings.

"I'm in love with you."


	12. irrevocably

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte confessed her feelings to Sidney, it is now irrevocably between them.   
> How does he handle it?
> 
> And what happens when she visits Clara?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you had to wait so long, here's a slightly longer chapter...

Sidney looked at Charlotte in bewilderment. The warmth that built up inside him almost burned him. The blazing flame that he had felt for days was now spreading all over the place. The feelings whirled within him and lifted his heart. It was so light. He was.....happy!  
She still had her eyes closed and the small notch between her eyebrows deepened a little. Her breath went a little too fast, as if she were preparing for something. 

"Please, be kind enough to leave me alone."   
she moved before she opened her eyes, not looking at him but at the floor.

"Charlotte", his voice was barely a whisper as he reached out for her. The contact with her skin seemed to burn into his fingers.

"What?" she grumbled, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at him. But before he could even think, he leaned over a little and whispered...

"and I into you."

Frozen in her movement, she raised her gaze and looked at his beautiful face. She felt a little faint in the head, as if she was having a confused dream. Her heart was whirling around in her chest and as he slowly approached, her stomach made this sweeping movement. The warmth that emanated from him wrapped around her like a warm blanket, he gently put one hand on her waist and came a little closer. Their eyes glued together.

"I am absolutely and irrevocably in love with you," he said and the smile on his face infected her as well.

"Really?" she asked incredulous in a breathless voice.  
"Yes, really."

he muttered and looked briefly at her lips. He felt the excitement burning in his cheeks, when was the last time this had happened to him?   
Although the desire to feel her lips on his again was urgent, he held back. Their faces floated in front of each other, his lips already tingling with anticipation, but he didn't want to rush anything, everything should happen at her pace, if she wanted him at all. Maybe she thought he was a complete idiot and she would get over him and ... but before he could continue the thought, she pressed her velvety soft lips lightly on his. 

And it was a relief. It had taken so long for her lips to finally make contact with his mouth. The feelings and thoughts were swirling around and it was just so beautiful. Sidney tightened his grip at her waist. Her fingers clawed into the sleeve of his sweater and he felt her other hand warm on his back as she moved closer. He caressed her lips tenderly, nibbling and sipping her upper lip. Charlotte squeezed closer to him, pressing her breasts against his chest, and his arm moved gently around her shoulders. When he tried to detach himself from her, overwhelmed, she immediately took his lips again and did the same to him. She slightly increased the pressure of her mouth and a soft moaning slipped away from him. It was so overwhelming. Sidney's thoughts were empty. Completely blank. Except of her.

After a while she let her mouth stroke over his chin on his neck. Even though his stubble scratched a little, she loved the feeling on her skin. She inhaled his scent and pressed herself so tightly against him that he had to shift his weight for support. Sidney put his head against her temple and gently stroked her hair until they both caught their breath.  
"I can't believe..." she muttered to his chest, before she briefly laughed as he took her face in his hands in one quick movement and looked deep into her eyes.

"Neither can I, that you and me...this is so unreal...and I am so..."  
Instead of continuing to talk he pressed a kiss on her lips and then embraced her with his arms and lifted her up a little so that they were at eye level.

"I'm happy," and shook his head as if he still couldn't believe it.   
A slight shadow lay over her face and panic rose in him and terribly slowly he put her back on her feet. Her body moved along his, and if that hadn't caused a jolt through them both, he might have leaned further away from her.

"What is it?"  
"We can't... we mustn't..."  
"not yet." he interrupted her. Of course, that stupid chick Eliza had to ruin that incredibly beautiful moment for him, too.  
"we should wait until it's over..."

Before he even knew what he was doing, his hands began to move, with light fingers he stroked her face and the other hand moved down her arm until he could intertwine their fingers. Wherever he touched her, a hot embers formed that sent a shiver down her whole body. All his senses were focused on her and he felt goose bumps as she turned her gaze on him. If he was not deceived by everything, he thought he could see the same desire in her eyes he felt inside.

Her breath was quick. He followed the movements of her lifting bosom with his eyes until she reached for him and pulled him to her. His eyes searched for hers and they smiled at each other in amazement before he leaned closer again, kissing her tenderly.

It was a fire and he felt her answer to the unasked question. Charlotte put her arm around his neck and the next moment she felt the ground slipping from under her feet. A moment later he pressed her gently against him and kissed her as slowly as he had kissed her that night in her apartment. Her eyes, her nose, her cheeks. As he laid a path of a thousand little kisses down her neck, she moaned desperately for a moment and Sidney could feel her shiver. This made him come to his senses. Charlotte embarrassingly bit her lip and shyly looked for words as he put a finger on her lips and muttered.

"I love you."

Then he grinned at her silly and Charlotte was sure that she had the same expression.  
"so..." Charlotte cleared her throat, "no kissing in public?" she whispered, and the red of her cheeks was visible even in the half-light of the night. The light from inside the house gave her skin a golden glow and let her eyes sparkle.

"No, we'd rather not." He looked briefly at her intertwined fingers.  
"Well, this won't be easy..." she murmured and her eyes wandered.  
"Yes...it will be hard...not to kiss you..." his voice had a slightly desperate tone.  
"now even more than before..." and he frowned sheepishly. 

"Not if we do it in secret," she said cheekily and pressed a kiss on his mouth again, but unfortunately it was much too short.

Later they said goodbye at her apartment door after he accompanied her home. It was a sweet pain and both were almost unable to say goodbye. But as she would take the first train to Bath tomorrow morning, they finally had to break away from each other.  
No sooner had she closed the door than she tore it open again and Sidney looked at her as if he didn't want to go anywhere. Since Charlotte was too nervous to ask him in words, she just left the door open. She turned around and went into her bedroom. Her heart was beating up to her neck when she heard the door slam and she closed her eyes, believing he had left. But then he pushed his arms around her from behind and kissed her shoulder.

"You should sleep..." he murmured into her skin.  
"Will you..." she cleared her throat briefly "sleep on my floor again?"  
He chuckled and increased the pressure of his arms.   
"I don't like sleeping on the floor..."  
Charlotte turned in his embrace and looked into his eyes. There was a promise in it and he smiled slightly as he caressed her face lovingly.   
"Sleep tight," and he leaned in once more,  
"hmmm" she closed her eyes and gave herself completely over to the feeling of lying in his arms.

When she arrived in Bath the next morning, her friend Clara immediately realised that something must have happened. Charlotte was glowing. She hugged her friend and hurriedly told her what had happened.  
"So he's totally smitten, then?"  
"Apparently." Charlotte's cheeks turned red.  
"Oh, and he left at some point anyway?" Clara asked curiously.  
"Yes."  
"Well, if you need any tips to convince him to stay..."  
Charlotte rolled her eyes and took her friends arm when they left the station  
"Now tell me your plans for Eliza."

Eliza sat at her desk and polished the answers she planned to give when asked about the great scandal. She had to get people to watch her show. The days that followed the show, she released and rescheduled because she thought one of the major newspapers would spontaneously ask for an interview.   
Her original plan to grab Sidney, she was a bit sad, but the story now was so much better than anything that would have happened with him. The mere thought that he might prefer such an unimpressive girl to her made her want to destroy him. The scandal, as she had prepared, would cost him his career, but since he wanted to retire, it didn't make any difference. But women would give him a wide berth, but it didn't matter to her... if she couldn't have him, no one should. She laughed for a moment and thought about what she would wear and how she would react. Oh it was wonderful.

Andrew Babington was a happy man. His wife and daughter were his everything. When he met his wife, she was in a strange on-off relationship with the actor Edward Denham. The fact that her mother and his father were married meant that some people found the relationship strange, even though in fact the children had known each other longer than their parents. Eliza Campion had dragged Esther through the mud, which led him to offer Sidney to take Eliza out of the game before he knew how to do it. Sidney had a good instinct, knowing that Tom would make a deal with her, despite his contradictions.

The most interesting or funniest thing about it was that Eliza Campion didn't know who he was. She was absolutely not interested in the people who worked for her, so she didn't know that her cameraman Andi was in fact Lord Andrew Babington. Luckily he had always been interested in technology, the film-course at university and the eternal stay on film sets with his best friend had taught him enough that he could not only turn the camera on and off but also edit the recorded material in such a way that it became a completely different story.   
He was already looking forward to her stupid face when Eliza realized that she had lost.

"What are you smiling at?" asked Sidney as he visited his friend in his backyard.  
"I was just imagining how wonderful it would be when it was all over."  
Sidney nodded and sat down on the chair opposite his friend.  
"How about you?" Babington naturally noticed the atypical grin on Sidney's face.  
"Charlotte and I..."  
"Don't tell me you finally told her?"  
"She said it first." Babington stared at him in disbelief.  
"Well, then."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Sidney, she's beautiful, lovely and brave. I mean this is the right woman for you." he patted his buddy on the shoulder and then opened the file on his laptop to show Sidney the edited version of the interview.

"An hour and a half!" exclaimed Clara, playing annoyed, when Charlotte finally put her phone down.  
"I'm sorry." Charlotte's cheeks were glowing.   
"I want details!" Clara said ingratiatingly as she held a cup of hot chocolate in front of her friend to make her talk.  
"He was just telling me about the interview and how he misses me..." His words hung over her and made the butterflies in her stomach fly up again.  
"I want more..."   
"Clara, I won't tell you what he said!" exclaimed Charlotte playing sulky.  
"Oh God, you guys didn't have phone sex while I was in the same room, did you?"   
Charlotte rolled her eyes and explained to Clara  
"it doesn't always have to be about sex..."  
"But it must."  
annoyed, but much too excited, she then told a little bit of the things Sidney had said. And even though it annoyed Clara that it wasn't about sex but only about feelings, she was so incredibly happy for Charlotte that she hugged her violently.  
"I'm so happy for you!"  
"Thank you."  
"And now we're going shopping, because when it comes to what's going to happen, you're going to need hotter lingerie."  
"Oh no, Clara, I don't need lingerie..." the mere thought of Sidney seeing her underwear shot the blush back into her cheeks. She really didn't want to worry about ...that!  
"Not yet!" cried Clara, pulling her from the sofa and telling her to get dressed,  
"But it wouldn't hurt to take a look."

Two days later Charlotte came back and drove from the station directly to the announced photo shoot. She was more excited than she had been since the beginning of filming, as her agent had told her that Sidney would be there, too. When she arrived, and greeted everyone, her gaze immediately looked for him. He was already photographed and they could only take a quick look at each other before she had to get into the mask.

Sidney longed for her closeness and his heart pounded in his chest faster than when she was finally done and came to the set. She wore a tight emerald green dress low-cut at the back and he literally lost his breath. She was stunning. Not like that night in her apartment when they almost fell asleep cuddled together and she looked at him with dreamy eyes. He fell even more in love with her then. But so damn sexy and hot that he couldn't help but be drawn to her when she was in position. Her eyes locked and the urge to kiss her seemed to come out of his eyes. The photographer was thrilled.

With her back to the camera, she had to nestle so close to him that he could feel every inch of her body. His hand, which had to lie on the small of her back, burned through the thin silk fabric oft he dress onto her skin. 

"Bend over backwards a little, Charlotteand your back muscles will show up amazing." 

cried the photographer. Even though it was only a few inches that separated their bodies now, Sidney felt the loss.

"So now turn your head closer to him as if you were about to kiss." 

he now instructed and if he had even suspected that it was the most difficult thing for them not to give in to the feeling.

From her lips that almost touched his, the warm feeling crawled down her body. The hand that was supposed to be on his chest automatically clawed into the collar of his jacket as he unconsciously drew small circles on her naked skin. He felt her goose bumps under his fingertips and it didn't help his tense body when he could see the extent of what he was doing as he looked down at her for the blink of an eye. Sidney closed his eyes briefly and then looked deep into her eyes again.

"Your chemistry is amazing." shouted the photographer enthusiastically and the two of them were disappointed when the motive was done. 

They almost couldn't separate from each other, but since two more motives had to be shot, they surrendered to their fate. The other clothes were not as thrilling as the green dress and Sidney had better control now, although the need to kiss her was still strong, he was content to hold her hand. They were supposed to pretend to run, looking at each other as they took the few steps from the back wall towards the photographer. It was so stupid that they giggled like overexcited children all the time and the whole crew was completely taken in by them.

The last motive was in casual clothes and barefoot. They sat on the floor opposite each other and Charlotte was to put her legs over his. The physical contact was so arousing that the two of them really could hardly hold back. As it was finished, both disapeared into the gaderobe and as soon as they were out of sight, their starving lips found each other. 

But before they could let it go too far, they reluctantly let go and hurried to leave the photo studio as soon as possible.


	13. wildfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and she was like a wildfire that burned everything in him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild fire burns in Charlotte, from which Sidney cannot escape...so I had to change the rating...just in case.

No sooner had they reached Charlotte's apartment than she appeared nervous and disappeared into the bathroom for a while. First, she removed her make-up and then looked at herself in the mirror for a while. Clara's words sounded in her ears and her heart was pounding in a small wave of panic. Sidney then knocked softly on the door and asked her if everything was all right. She then went to him and to her joyful surprise, she saw that he had made sandwiches. 

"I thought you might be hungry." 

he smiled his crooked smile and Charlotte's nervousness was immediately blown away. He had the gift of making her feel safe.  
They ate and talked about all kinds of things. Her family, his plans for Sanditon and that he would like to show her the small village on the coast. 

"So will you get me an apartment with a view of the sea after all?" she asked with a smile, thinking of their conversation in the boat.

"You'll sleep with me, of course," he said and took her hand. He brought her to his mouth and kissed her lightly.

Their eyes met and her smile faded. His heart beat wildly as he thought about the fact that this statement might upset her. He pressed another kiss on her wrist and then stood up to wash the plates. Charlotte slipped out of her chair and followed him as if she were pulled by a magnet. An agonizing pain in her middle made her hug him from behind and nestle against him. His closeness and body warmth was what she needed and she wanted more. In order to see his face as he washed the dishes with high concentration, she sat down on the worktop next to him. 

Sidney felt her look as if it was a hot ray of sunshine that unexpectedly scorched his skin. He dried the dishes and his hands for what felt like hours until Charlotte couldn't stand it anymore. She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him over to her. He stumbled playfully and placed his hands left and right of her on the cool countertop, his face hovering in front of hers, but he held back.

"What is it?" 

he asked innocently and before he could even chuckle she pressed her lips to his. As if he had ever had a chance to resist her, he willingly surrendered to his fate and let himself be carried away by her passion. His hands lay down on her body, timidly and gently. As before, he painted small circles on her lower back and the other hand gently stroked her waist. 

Oh his mouth! Charlotte forgot to breathe as his mouth touched hers, but within an instant all her wildness unfolded. She grabbed him, pulled him closer, he was now standing between her legs and she pressed her breasts into his chest and his hand slowly moved up her side. As he tried to detached from her, she grabbed his hair and held him in place. A deep sound, almost a rumble, came deep from his throat and as he opened his mouth she tenderly bit his lower lip. As if she had flipped a switch on him now, he grabbed her tighter. He embraced her back and grabbed her hair. The sensation of his fingers touching the delicate skin there shot a burst through her, making her abdomen twitch. She noticed that she had already slid to the edge and before she could even think Sidney grabbed her thigh and wrapped her leg around his hip.  
The sensations that shot through their bodies when they felt so close to each other made them both groan briefly. Sidney pressed his lips to the point under her ear and then kissed her again passionately. As Charlotte let her tongue slide into his mouth, he froze in his movement to enjoy this fabulous feeling. Suddenly unsure if she was doing it right, she wanted to pull back, but he wrapped his arm around her tighter and with the other he pulled her thigh higher and higher. Had the wall cupboard not been in the way she could have leaned back, but instead she clasped his neck with both arms and hooked her feet behind his back.

And in the next moment she floated. Her body pulsed. She was slightly dizzy and when she noticed Sidney sitting on her bed, she let go of him for a moment. Their eyes got entangled and her breath went so fast that he was afraid she was about to hyperventilate. He lovingly framed her face with both hands.

"Calm down sweetheart." 

he whispered and gave her an endlessly tender kiss. He stroked her face and her wild curls with light fingers. His eyes seemed to imprint every inch of her, they wandered from her eyes to her mouth and back again. Awfully slowly he came closer and held her gaze Her breath had calmed down, but not the fire that was burning inside. His lips stroked softly over hers until Charlotte opened them slightly. As he let his tongue slowly glide over her lips, she sharply sucked in the air.

"I love you." 

Sidney whispered into her mouth and Charlotte whimpered softly as she deepened the kiss. Her fingers clawed his neck and pulled lightly on the short hair there and her other hand went up his sleeve and to his back. Sidney held back, it was hard, but he didn't want to overwhelm her, so he just stroked her back gently and left his other hand in her hair. 

"Take this off."

Her voice was hoarse and did things to his body that he could not control. He hesitated for a moment, but for Charlotte too long and she started pulling his shirt over his head before he really knew what was happening to him. Her small hands stroked over his broad shoulders, down his muscular arms. She took his hands and placed them firmly on her thighs. Then she let her hands wander up again. The goose bumps she caused him made her somehow proud that she was capable of it! Gently she stroked his chest down to his perfect belly and the dark hair there. The burning path of her fingers made his body twitch uncontrollably. And when their eyes met again, he pressed her closer. 

"Oh."

she felt him underneath her and when Sidney let his cool fingers glide minimally under her shirt and across her waistband, she too flinched briefly. The friction made her press herself even closer to him. Their lips found each other and the kiss was passionate and soon had something dirty about it when they could no longer control themselves. The heat that spread through Charlotte was so strong that she pressed herself so hard against him that he lay backwards and while he lay under her, he let his fingers move minimally into her pants and gently stroke her bottom with his fingernails. A strange noise escaped her as she pressed her crotch into his, the pressure there was so great that she could not help it, the movements came all by itselves.   
Charlotte was uninhibited and completely under her spell Sidney could only follow her body and moved with her in the great rhythm of her passion. The few brain cells still working in him made him interrupt the kiss and squeeze her butt firmly on him with both hands. He had never felt so aroused before and he wanted her to know it.

"Charlotte..."  
"don't stop" she moaned as she stroked his face and snuggled into his neck.  
"I admire your perseverance" he brought out laboriously, "but soon I can't hold back any longer" he said with a mischievous grin and pressed his hips into hers.

"Then don't."

and she was like a wildfire that burned everything in him. She kissed his neck and chest, nibbled on particularly sensitive areas and Sidney had to concentrate hard not to give in to this feeling completely.  
Then Charlotte suddenly pushed herself into an upright position and Sidney missed her immediately. In a flowing movement she pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it behind her. Her sight was the most beautiful and so beguiling that it almost destroyed him.

"You wouldn't believe how often I've dreamed of this red bra." 

he admitted embarrassed and everywhere his gaze touched her skin inflamed.

"Touch me." 

She reached for his hand and led it to her stomach.

Benting her body so that his fingers could not help but gently touch the delicate fabric of her bra. He felt how her body reacted and he really had trouble holding back. Her eyelids were heavy with passion when she lay back on him again, the feeling of skin on skin was so unbelievably beautiful that he embraced her so tightly that she could feel every inch of him between her legs and groaned briefly.

"Charlotte..."  
"even though I've never had sex, I know exactly what I need." she breathed into his ear, and then attacked him with passionate kisses while circling her hips.

Oh, damn it! He had to take a deep breath with the images flooding his brain as he imagined her touching herself. 

"Fuck, tell me about it." 

he asked gently while his fingers touched her face and the other hand pressed her backside, so she was pressed tighly against him in an insane rhythm. Every clear thought that he would get into his pants at any moment had disappeared. His hand still rested gently on her breast, when she reluctantly admitted,

"I was thinking of you."

And at her words he fell over the edge.

When she heard his moaning and he wriggled under her as if in pain, Charlotte too could feel the warmth burning through her. She bent her back as the wave came over her too, while he made an almost howling sound and grabbed her hair so tightly that it almost hurt. Both of them came gasping back to breath as she kissed him gently on his neck and she trembled all over her body. 

Sidney was overwhelmed by feelings and the embarrassment of what had just happened, but he had to know that she was all right. He sat up with her in his arms, Charlotte buried her face on his shoulder and he stroked her back reassuringly. Until he felt her relax again. She kept her eyes closed, completely lost in the feelings running through her, while he stroke her face as she slowly detached herself from him and looked for his gaze. 

„Sorry!“ he looked sheepishly and kissed her forehead.

The embarrassment was immediately gone when they both embraced laughing. He then gathered all his strength and stood up with her. On shaky legs, he staggered into the bathroom.


	14. promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unfortunately a shorter one....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry that I couldn't update earlier, but a lot of things happened and because of all the grief and the restricted life in quarantine, I couldn't write for several days.  
> I hope to do better in the future!

"If you don't let me go, I'm gonna be late."  
Sidney whispered in Charlotte's ear as she leaned against him and hugged him tightly.

"Well, that is your problem, not mine," she giggled into his chest.

She wouldn't let him go, he was so warm and smelled so good. And the promises of the night lay between them. Sidney tightened his grip around her and inhaled the scent of her hair. He really had to go, he had an important appointment with Tom and the film distributor, although he could of course stand here with her for a few more minutes. But he had already noticed the evening before that Charlotte was not satisfied with just a little bit more. She began to kiss his neck and press herself very tightly against him.

"Charlotte..."  
"Hmm?" 

she stretched to come at his mouth and, shaking his head, he let her kiss him. Light and playful they laughed and kissed each other until Sidney lifted her up and took her back to the bedroom. Charlotte was happy that she had made him stay, she just wanted more from him. Not everything, not yet, but more. Eagerly, she started unbuttoning her shirt and shrieked when he threw her on the bed. 

"Here you little...wild thing..!"

Grinning, he turned to leave, but before he could leave the room a pillow hit him from behind. With a loud rumble, he turned around and saw Charlotte kneeling in bed, swinging another pillow. Her eyes glistened playful. And while Sidney bent down to pick up the first pillow, the second already hit him. Charlotte couldn't help but burst into an incredibly rousing laughter as he looked up in bewilderment. What she hadn't expected was that he would throw the cushions back, and so fast in a row that she couldn't find any cover. She wanted to crawl to the foot of the bed to save herself from his attack as he grabbed her feet and pulled her back. He bent over her and began to tickle her. 

She was extremely sensitive at her sides, which he had noticed the night before as they lay arm in arm wrapped in blankets in her bed. At first he had suspected, that Charlotte might be worried that this time it would lead to a step she wasn't ready to take, but when she gave the quiet giggle, he knew she was just ticklish. Sidney had of course stopped immediately because he didn't want to spoil their sweet mood and had simply pulled her closer to him. Her face in the curve of his neck, her hand on the spot above his heart. Their skin only separated by the fabric of his thin shirt and the bedcovers.

But now there was no sweet moment just the attack on her sides. She twitched and wriggled under him, laughing and squealing until he held playfully both her arms with one hand and tickled her sides with his second.

She moved back and forth so quickly that Sidney had to lie down on top of her to keep her still and the feeling of what was flooding through her was so overwhelming that she immediately stiffened. His fingers that had tickled under her shirt also froze. Their eyes locked and her laughter faded. The tickling on her skin penetrated deep underneath and made its way through her body. Her breath went short-winded as Sidney slowly leaned closer and she could feel his breath on her skin. Charlotte closed her eyes as the sensations overwhelmed her, and as his lips lay softly on hers, they both sharply sucked in the air. Sidney's hand, still loosely on her arms, briefly thightened it’s hold before they slowly moved down her arm, to her small shoulder and embraced her face. The kiss was loving and tender and there was a very different promise in it than the wild fire of the evening before.

Even during the conversation with the film distributor, Sidney's thoughts kept wandering to Charlotte and her incredibly happy laughter. The sound still lingered in his ears and her face, which had that special expression as he hovered over her. He didn't even notice how he smiled as he thought about how good it felt to hold her in his arms. Still and warm and peaceful. 

"what's wrong with you?"

Tom asked him excitedly. It had to be pretty obvious if even Tom noticed something about his behavior or the strange smile on his face. Sidney shook his head and then returned to the conversation. There were moments when he really needed to concentrate and now was one of those. He nodded briefly and tried to banish Charlotte from his mind. After all, he couldn't let Tom do any negotiations alone again and risk that something might go wrong. As soon as the dates were officially fixed, the subject with Eliza would finally come to an end. He should concentrate on that, even if the thought of Charlotte's eyes widening with love and desire was so much more pleasant.

"Sidney..." Tom touched his arm lightly.  
"Yeah?" He cleared his throat and finally focused on the here and now.  
"As we discussed, the Q&A is right after the movie..."  
"Yes, it's a great idea, ..." 

Inwardly Sidney rolled his eyes slightly annoyed as Tom sold this idea as his own again, although it was part of the plan he and Babs had cooked up for Eliza. They wanted to let her believe that it was her merit to see her show live in the cinema right after the movie premiere. The press would be there and pounce on him at the unveiling she thought she was going to make. But she would be the one.

"You didn't sleep with him?" Clara screamed so loud in Charlotte's ear that she even had to hold the phone away.  
"I don't believe you!" she then shouted, and Charlotte was annoyed that she hadn't just kept everything to herself. But Clara had the gift to really get it all out, and since she didn't want Clara to laugh at the memory of their first night together, she gave her just a little bit and not every information. 

When she had told her about the...kitchen, Charlotte almost went deaf from her friend's screaming. 

"Oh, my God!"  
"Yes." Charlotte was a little embarrassed at the thought of how brash she had been.  
"And he slept over?"  
"Yes." 

and Charlotte's thoughts drifted briefly to the moment when he came out of the bathroom dressed only in a towel. A drop of water flowed calmly over his chest, his muscles and disappeared at the edge of the cloth. The sight let her almost dropped her jaw, but luckily she was able to control herself. Almost hurriedly she then disappeared into the bathroom. There was nothing left of the wildfire fifteen minutes earlier. Suddenly she was the inexperienced girl again, not able to cope with the sexiness of her boyfriend. 

She had brushed her teeth extensively and, lost in thought, put the thoothbrush back in the cup when she noticed the second one. Of course, she shouldn't have been shocked, after all, she had gave it to him, but there was something intimidating and yet real about the sight. 

"Earth to Charlotte!" cried Clara, tearing her from her memories.  
"Then what happened?" she asked curiously.  
"Nothing more, we just..." began Charlotte but was interrupted again by her friend.  
"Just tell me you cuddled arm in arm and fell asleep?" and there was this sound that Charlotte didn't like. It almost sounded reproachful. Like it was totally stupid. But she didn't let that beautiful memory ruin and was just trying to defend herself when Clara let out a long sigh.

"This is so sweet."  
"Oh, yeah?" Charlotte was surprised at her friend's change of heart.  
"Yes, how you fell in love and ....how he's so patient..."  
Charlottes felt her cheeks glowing when she remembered he was, but she wasn't really patient.  
"We just got together," she said shyly, she still couldn’t belive it.  
"But that doesn't mean he has to be patient..." moaned her friend, "but I give him credit for that and I can almost forgive him for being such an ass at the beginning."  
"Yes, that's right." Charlotte smiled at the memory of how impossible he had behaved in the beginning.  
"Will you ask him?"  
"for what?" Charlotte's heart pounded in her chest at the thought that Clara would bring the sex theme back to the table.  
"Well, why he was so mean..."  
"Well, no...I..." Charlotte stuttered at the thought, but her curiosity was piqued.  
"I bet he was totally frustrated that you're so incredibly sexy and yet so cute," Clara explained ernest, leaving Charlotte laughing.

"So when are you going to make it official?"  
"We're not trying to make it official, but if anything goes wrong with the plan to compromise Eliza, then..."  
"But why?"  
"It would be more quiet..."  
"better all know he's your man..."  
"He's not my man," protested Charlotte, but her friend reminded her again of the incredible fact that Sidney Parker was her boyfriend.

After the negotiations Tom and Sidney returned to Bedford Place. Tom looked at his brother thoughtfully as he disappeared into his room.

"What's wrong, Tom?" asked his wife.  
"I don't know... Sidney seems... I don't know...he..seems.." he stuttered.  
"he seems to be happy?" Mary ended his thoughts.  
"hmm...yes, somehow...yes!" in amazement he looked at Mary and she just shook her head over her husband who seemed to be really completely blind of what was happening around him.  
"Do I know her?" he asked and although Mary had an idea, she denied the question. She didn't want to give Tom the chance to mess things up again.

Then when Sidney came running down the stairs as if he was really very late, Tom remarked to him,  
"This woman seems like someone really special."  
Sidney froze briefly, but then said truthfully,  
"Yes. Yes she is." and that atypical smile came back on his face.

"You can bring her with you." Mary said, who secretly thought that this woman had probably already been here, but said nothing.  
"Sure." Sidney wanted to go and not play the typical question game as if he was a teenager again.  
"What is she doing with you?" Tom asked, shaking his head, because Sidney was an active man, but after a long and exhausting day of negotiations, he was the first to volunteer to stay home and prefer a glass of wine and a good book to any kind of company. 

"She makes me happy."


	15. under the skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza meticulously follows her plan, as do Sidney and his friend Andrew Babington.
> 
> Sidney's gonna realize something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, you all know lockdown sucks.
> 
> I also apologize that Eliza takes a bigger role in this chapter.
> 
> But I try to make up for it with the deserved "alone time" of our two lovers at the end of the chapter.
> 
> Stay safe!

"Eliza, when shall we see us again?"  
A proud feeling flashed through her. Not only because she would get what she wanted, but that she was still able to make all men weak. Well, not all, but most. This guy here hadn't been much of a challenge, he'd always been into her. She didn't need any pressure, it made the whole thing almost boring.

"I'm gonna be pretty busy over the next few weeks, but..." she paused to think, and buttoned her blouse.  
"maybe this weekend?" she straightened her hair, and of course it was a purely rhetorical question after all, he always does things with his family on the weekend.

"You know I can't do that," he pinched her ass,  
"but you can always stop by if you're in the neighborhood."  
Eliza straightened her skirt.  
"And you can come by my place!" she kissed her lover lightly on the cheek and tucked her thong into his jacket. She then bent forward deliberately to put on her shoes and this finally made him say the next sentence.

"I want you to come to the premiere of my new film," he tried to bait her, and had he known that was exactly her plan, he would have denied himself of sounding so desperate.

"But you can't do that! Your wife..." Eliza acted shocked.  
"Only on the red carpet, of course, you know she can't stand the flash anymore." he laughed briefly while closing his belt, "she hasn't aged as well as you have."

Of course she didn't like the word 'aged', that alone would make him bleed, but she shook it off. For the moment.  
"As a friend of the family then?" she asked innocently.  
"Yes, of course."  
Eliza kissed him, played gratefully and then told him that she had an appointment. 

Shortly afterwards, she stood in the street and listened to the recording of her little tête-à-tête, Eliza had finally learned from her mistakes. She was still annoyed that she hadn't recorded the phone call with the stupid sister of that innocent country bumpkin, who knows what else she might have gotten out of it!  
She was also annoyed that she didn't have a recording of the interview, otherwise she could have played something to the radio station. When she then got into the next taxi, shaking her head, she noticed the voice from the radio. 

"Ah, the ’King of the Mornings’!" she exclaimed enthusiastically and the taxi driver agreed with her,  
"Yes Miss, the icon! He is..." the rest she already didn't hear from the idiot in front of her, she dialled a number and waited.

"What?" cried the voice that could just be heard on the radio.  
"I just wanted to remind you of your promise", she purred smugly.  
"I don't remember ever giving you one", came the considered response.  
"hmm," she paused artificially.  
"What do you want?" he spat out.  
Oh, it just felt so good to make people keep their promises.  
"An interview."  
"Why, what have you got to say?" the ’King of the Mornings’ had to hold back not to call that bitch names.  
"Well, except for the secret about you and your little friend," she left that sentence half in the  
air.  
"Stop!" he shouted.  
Oh, she'd forgotten how quickly he was upset, another fact his fans certainly didn't know about him. Eliza laughed and then soothed him with the words.  
"you know, I don't really want to do it, but..."  
"All right," he gave in without a fight, "when?"

With a grin on his face, Sidney ran down the stairs and greeted Mary in the kitchen.  
"Are we going together?" he asked as he took a cup of coffee.  
"Tom's already at the office," she said, watching her brother-in-law, who barely spent another night at Bedford Place. She didn't want to corner him, but she was too curious.

"You didn't spend the night at your girlfriend's." she remarked with a grin.  
"Hmm?" he looked up from his coffee where he seemed distracted reading something.  
"no, eh she erm..." how could he tell her Charlotte had dance training for her new role, which went late last night, without saying too much.  
"She had to work late" he then explained.  
"Oh, what is she doing?" Mary asked blatantly.  
"Mary, I'll tell you who she is when we're ready, all right?" 

and changed the subject. He knew that Mary suspected something, but Arthur wouldn't tell, and he just didn't want Tom to take their relationship as publicity for the film. Their relationship was just too precious.

Later, when they met Tom in the office and were on their way to the post-production, where the crew would now watch the finished film, Sidney's phone rang. His heart jumped, but he calmed down immediately when he read the name on the display.

"Hey Babs, what's up?"  
"I just wanted to tell you that Eliza met with Becroft yesterday."  
Sidney puffed, happy that everything went according to plan, but he was still annoyed that Eliza always managed to spoil the mood just by someone mentioning her name.

"All right. What did she negotiate with him?"  
"What we already knew, after the Q&A session, he's putting her show on the big screen."  
"And that's all we want?" suddenly something of a panic swept through him.  
"relax", his friend reassured him, "the material is as I have edited it, everything else is destroyed."

Sidney took a deep breath of relief and then asked his friend how it looked with the photographer. Ivy.  
"He's in France right now chasing a young model."  
"Are you sure she didn't send someone else after us?" he just didn't want to risk it.  
"Sid, honestly, don't be paranoid." cried Andi, "she has the pictures of your first...uh... meeting and as far as I could find out, that asshole ambushed Charlotte for a few days after that." 

The thought of Ivy sneaking after Charlotte made Sidney sick, he was trying to protect her and this made him so angry, but his friend got him out of his thoughts,

"but since you luckily didn't drop by again, he got bored."  
"I hope you're right," Sidney muttered, "anything else?"  
"This morning she was out, I don't know where", Babington seemed annoyed,  
"I had to cut out frames from the interview for her magazine interview and soften her in it so she looked as young and fresh as Charlotte."  
Sidney made a humming sound.  
"I'm going to accidentally send the raw photos." Andi noticed dryly and the two chuckled conspiratorially for a moment. 

Sidney had to keep in mind that Babington also had a bone to pick with Eliza, otherwise he would really worry about how mean his friend was.  
"Thank you Andi, there's a call coming in." Sidney said before saying goodbye and taking Charlotte's call.

"See you, Sid." Andi hung up and ran his hand over his face. He hoped they hadn't missed anything and lost himself in his mental to-do list.

"When will it finally be over?" his wife asked him and sat on his lap.  
"Soon, darling." 

Andi took his wife firmly in his arms. They knew that as soon as Eliza's name came up somewhere her own scandal would flare up again, but this time they were prepared. They had already spoken to their lawyer and issued a restraining order. They should have done it years ago, but Esther had repressed it as best she could, after all the relationship with Edward had not been an easy one, even without the scandal.

Eliza had returned to her apartment exhausted from the long day. The interview with the famous women's magazine was a long overdue thank you from her friend Lydia. Lydia had been made from a meaningless text editor to the boss of the text department, thanks by the Denham story, and was now the magazine's editor-in-chief.

Luckily Eliza had been waiting for the right moment to call in the favor and now had an exclusive interview for the day of the movie premiere. At first only online, but it would make people's mouths water for her internet show and more details that would be featured in the next issue including a big fashion section. Eliza was incredibly happy, finally she had reached her goal.

Sidney greeted the boys from post production company and Georgiana after he finished the phone call with Charlotte. Of course he thought it was a pity that Charlotte couldn't be there, he would have liked to see her reactions on some shots, but that was one of his privileges as producer of the film. Maybe he should try to join her new project as a producer too, he thought jokingly. He didn't think she would like that, after all she should be able to work independently of him.

The movie was good. Thanks to Georgiana and Mary's eye for aesthetic shots and the freedom they gave the actors. Wide landscape shots paired with close-ups on faces allowed the viewer to enter completely into the emotional world of the protagonists. Charlotte's facial expressions and the depicted heartache seemed so real that the people in the room stopped whispering to each other.

"She gets under my skin." 

breathed Sidney and Georgiana looked at him briefly, apparently he had said it out loud, but she could not help but agree with him. 

He had such deep feelings for Charlotte and to see her suffer so much, even though it was only a movie, made him very sad. He never wanted to see her suffering. Luckily the film was a romance and although the subject matter had annoyed him at first, he had never been so happy to have helped his brother out of his misery.

When the scene came in the hut where their film characters kissed for the first time, his heart was beating so strongly that he was suddenly back in the film studio and slowly approached her. Her breath tickled his lips and the look in her eyes, which he couldn't or didn't want to interpret at the time, was that of infatuation, he was now quite sure of it. He felt the lightning ran through him again and he had the urgent need to tell her what he had felt then.

The scene with the boat made the crew laugh, of course, as everyone remembered the little accident, but Sidney could only think of what had happened later in Charlottes apartment.

She stood in the doorway with just his T-shirt on and looked at him sleepy. Although it was not that late when he arrived, she was probably so tired from training for her mini-series that she had already slept. Charlotte let him in and snuggled up to him. With tired eyes she looked him lovingly in the eyes and he stroked her wild curls. He found her so enchanting at that moment that he could not help but pick her up and brought her to bed. He kissed her gently on the forehead and covered her up before he lay down a little later and pulled her to him.

"How was it?" she asked in a tired voice.  
"Very good. You were great."  
She laughed briefly and snuggled closer to him.

The feelings were still whirling around inside him and he whispered softly, not sure if she was awake enough to hear him  
"our first kiss in the movie" he waited a short time for a reaction and when he felt it right she stiffened a little the she moved slightly a bit closer, 

"it was very special."  
"but you cursed." she murmured into his chest.  
"Yes, because it was clear to me at that moment."  
"What?" She suddenly seemed more alert than a few minutes ago.  
"That I'm in love with you."

She pressed herself against him and kissed the tender spot under his throat. He ran his hand down her back, Charlotte shakily sucked in her breath as his fingers brushed a small piece of skin where the shirt had slipped up a little. Sidney froze as the heat, slowly creeping up his arm from his fingertips on her warm skin.

The little circles he painted into her skin very easily, burned a pattern into her skin. She felt branded and suddenly had the urge to be branded by him everywhere. Quite unconsciously she pressed herself even closer to him and he could feel her bosom on his chest. The disturbing fabric of their clothes lay between them and a part of him wanted to rip the piece of fabric that covered her beautiful body into shreds.

Charlotte slowly slid her hands under his shirt and ran her delicate fingers over his belly. His muscles twitched under her touch and he seemed to come even closer. Although she could  
already feel the outline of his mouth on her lips, they did not touch yet. A groan deep in his throat made her whole body shake as he pressed her body tighter and she finally broke the distance between them.

His lips were patient, soft and yet demanding. As she succumbed completely to the emotion he unleashed in her. The hand under his T-shirt, moved to his chest and higher until they could stroke his collarbone. A hand slipped across his neck and into his hair. As she moved, the shirt slid up and she could feel his warmth through the fabric that covered her. As his long cool finger wandered up and lay between her shoulder blades she moaned slightly.

Charlotte stroked him tenderly over the sculpture of his chest, he then kissed her and pushed his hand against her face and the hand under her t-shirt into her neck. Charlotte tugged at his t-shirt and in the next moment he briefly separated from her to sit up and wipe it off. His skin looked like marble in the moonlight that glided through the window.

But before he could lie down again, she knelt next to him. He turned to her as she raised her arms and asked him so silently to undress her. His breath hitched at the thought of the step she would now allow him to take.

As slowly as he could, he took the hem of the shirt and carefully pushed it upwards. His tickling fingers left a hot trail on her soft skin. They both closed their eyes at the wonderful feeling. Only when the shirt was thrown behind her did they both open their eyes again. She ran her hands over her hair a little nervously as she shyly sought his gaze. He leaned towards her and kissed her lovingly while he let his hands move slightly over her sides back to her waist.

Their eyes stuck together until he leaned back a little and looked at her. In the light that broke through the window her skin shimmered silver. Sidney was shattered how beautiful she was.

His eyes on her skin were like a caress and Charlotte bit her lips to keep from moaning. She just wanted to be touched by him. An unbelievable feeling of longing overcame him too, she could tell by his almost black eyes. She knew he saw that her body reacted just by stroking her body with his gaze.

Sidneys fingertips were already tingling with anticipation as all his senses now turned to her soft skin under his fingertips and he let them slowly moved up her sides. As his hands gently stroked every inch of the exposed skin for the first time, he kissed her gently. She clasped his biceps and moved her other hand gently to his face. Charlotte gasped as he enveloped her soft hills with his hands. He felt her shudder slightly under his touch as he captured her mouth and made their tongues dance. Sidney now pushed his arms around her and pulled her closer to him and tenderly stroke the back of her head.

Charlotte suddenly felt the pillow underneath her again and the touch of his skin was so hot that she wriggled underneath him. A shiver ran down his body as she stroked his back with her delicate fingers and the tips of her breasts pressed into his chest. As he slowly pulled away from her, Charlotte felt the loss of his lips and looked deep into his eyes. Silently he asked her for permission before he let his lips wander down her neck.

First he stroked with light fingers and then with his face across the valley between her breasts. He avoided touching her where she wanted it the most and managed to make her reach out to him. Sidney lifted himself up on his elbows and let his fingers move over her soft skin.

"How beautiful you are."  
The feeling when he let his thumbs gently wander over the sensitive tips made her breath tremble. She lost herself completely in the feeling of his skin on hers and she wanted more. Suddenly he gripped her tighter and a jolt went through her until it seemed to explode in her core.

Charlotte moaned his name as he teased her with light kisses and little tender bites under her curves. His caress burned under her skin and he drew little sighs from her and a feeling like a light electric shock ran through him as he ran his tongue over her delicate tips for the first time. Her soft whimpering sounds as he embraced them with his lips, drowned him in emotion.

Sidney drew the air in sharply as she wrapped her legs around him and reacted so wonderfully. His name kept falling from her lips. It was like a caress and he just couldn't stop.  
She tugged at his hair until he separated from her skin and she could finally kiss him as if she was half-starved. She literally devoured him as he continued to stroke her body with his flat hand. She let her fingers glide burning across his chest and since he was only half on top of her, she got where she wanted to go unhindered. But at the edge of his shorts she hesitated and let her fingers wander around him. While she timidly let her fingertips slide into his shorts on his back, he slid down again. Her chest rose again as he let his tongue gently move from one side to the other. He moaned against her skin, which he still covered with soft kisses, as he felt her heat. But he held back from exploring further terrain, they had all the time in the world.

Sidney continued to caress her body and changed his rhythm again and again. Light and gentle, wild and rough, until she kept gasping his name. He lay down on her to show her, he felt the same. Stroking once again over the tender skin, which he was allowed to feel for the first time this night. He reached into her hair and nibbled her lips, as he felt how close she was. Her body began to tremble beneath him while he whispered her name like a caress in her ear. Although it was shockingly intimate as he watched her swollen lips deform into a mutely O as she arched her back. He could do nothing but look at her in awe with tears in his eyes.

Sidney knew he would never love someone as much as he loved her.


	16. Because of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get to know the photographer Ivi better.  
> Mary learns something she doesn't like.
> 
> Unlike Charlotte and Sidney, who like what they learn about each other...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to apologize for the delay, but the story is a bit more complex...besides, I don't like writing about Eliza....and that is difficult sometimes. 
> 
> Furthermore homeschooling and lockdown sucks.

Ivi Symnock sat in the back corner in a small café in a cross street of the Champs-Elysées and looked at his yield of the day. The young model whom he had to chase, was so incredibly boring that it really hurt him to even take pictures of her. Why Eliza had asked him to follow her was a mystery to him. His thoughts drifted away and he remembered the first orders he had received from her. To come to a place at a certain time and take photos of her and her respective companion. Nothing exciting, but she paid well and that was what counted, after all he had two ex-wives and an extravagant girlfriend he had to finance.

Eliza believed that the young model would only get jobs because she was the girlfriend of a famous actor, but so far he hadn't discovered anything that would point to this. She came out of her apartment building in the morning, rode her bike or the subway to some casting or shooting, got out of there after a few minutes or hours and went home.   
It was the same boring job as with the little actress, except the one night when she had made out with her co-star. But after that.... She never left the house, or only briefly to go shopping for food in the next store. That too was not interesting enough to make any story out of it. Green salad, vegetables, yogurt. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no condoms.

Ivi longed to do an exciting job again. But how could he advertise his work when the pictures for Eliza hadn't made it in the tabloids? He moaned and sipped at his espresso. Somehow he was also too old for that crap. He felt more like a private detective than a photographer. Just more boring. Maybe he should join his friend's company and only take pictures of gardens. His gaze wandered out the window and he saw "his" model pushing her bicycle, apparently she had an accident. She limped a little and on closer inspection he saw that her knee was bleeding.

"Run after her and take a picture, we could make it dramatic, "the way up is rocky!"" he heard Eliza's voice in his head. For a moment he hesitated. What could happen? He watched after the young woman and sipped his esspresso again when his phone rang. It was another unknown number, probably Eliza again to control him. If he did not answer it, she would assume he was doing his job and expect pictures later. He moaned and picked up.

"Hello?" he asked, expecting to hear her falsetto voice.  
"Am I speaking with Ivi Symnock?" the caller asked instead.  
"Yes, who are..."  
"I have an offer to make." the man on the other end interrupted.  
"What kind of offer?" his heart was beating with joy, maybe this was his chance.  
"tailing your boss."  
His blood started rushing in his ears.  
"Eliza Camp..."  
"Yes."   
Oh, this could be interesting! 

"I'm a photographer, not a detective." he said to consider.  
"I know that."  
"Then why...?"  
"You're sitting at the source." His new employer seemed like the impatient sort.  
"What exactly do you wa....?"   
"When she meets who, where and why."  
"What are you paying?" asked Ivy, though he had already made up his mind.  
"Double what she's paying."   
"It's not much. I mean, she might catch me..." maybe he could get more out of it.  
"If you give me informations of every dirty story she was ever involved in..."  
Ivi stupidly took a sip from his café just at that moment when his new boss kept talking.  
"ten thousand on top."  
He choked and coughed so violently that he spilled his espresso over his shirt. Dryly the caller said,  
"I take that as a yes."

When Sidney arrived at Charlotte's, he held the sushi he had bought on the way to her right in front of her nose.   
"Oh great!" she kissed him briefly, took the bag and and put it in the fridge, he noticed her outfit and looked at her questioningly.  
"Do you have any plans for today?" he asked in surprise about the red catsuit with cutouts she was wearing. She looked down and grinned.  
"My agent got me a stylist so I can wear something "proper"“ she made quotation marks with her fingers. „for our premiere."  
"Ah."  
"this is the first!" she spun for him and looked at him questioningly.  
"chic." even though he thought her ass looked incredible in that thing, he didn't like it at all. And she knew it, of course.  
"Me neither."

Charlotte ran into the bedroom and came out a few minutes later. She was wearing a knee-short black dress with different sized zippers on the sides.  
"Oh, okay." His eyes lit up and she knew that he liked it, she pointed to her high heels,   
"this or..." she ran into the bedroom and he slowly followed her. She changed her shoes and pointed to these.  
"even better." He held her by the waist and kissed her then. It wasn't long before she thought her arms and legs were made of butter. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

"I have some more..."   
Sidney kissed her again.  
"you must see the next one..."

Playfully disappointed, he threw himself on the bed and watched her peel off the dress. Her black underwear looked like one of his dreams and he swallowed and closed his eyes. She was probably unaware of this, but he could grab her and consume her at this very moment. It almost hurt how much he wanted her. But even more, he wanted to make her happy. In every way he could.

"You know it, but...." 

said Charlotte, and when he looked up again, the words stuck in his throat. She was stunning. It was the green dress from the photo shoot they had and he walked this two steps over to her as if he were under some kind of spell. Her body reacted even before he reached her and he embraced her face with his hands and kissed her with passion.

"You can't wear that..." he muttered into the skin of her neck as he lightly stroked her front with light fingers.  
"Wh...why... no...not?" she stuttered breathlessly as he sucked on her pulse point.   
She knew why, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"Because then we won't make it to the cinema." he whispered and gently pushed the straps off her shoulders.  
"that...would be..." her sentence was interrupted by an audible gasp as his moth went down.  
"hmm?"  
"stupid... it's our ...movie..." she breathed.  
"so you rather not," he remarked as he peeled it off her body.

Mary sat in Tom's office in Bedford Place looking for the original invoice for a reminder she had received today. Her husband was really incredibly chaotic. After searching for an hour and a half, she hadn't found the invoice she was looking for, but something else. Tears came to her eyes in shock and she put her hand in front of her mouth to not sob out loud. Her head was spinning and she just could not think clearly. She rushed to the window and tore it open, the cool evening air poured in and she could think a little clearer again. She took her cell phone from the desk and wrote a message.

Sidney was sitting on her bad and was reading his text messages just as Charlotte came out of the bathroom. Distracted, he closed his eyes and thought of earlier. Suddenly she was standing between his legs.

"What is it?" she asked as she stroked his hair.  
"Nothing."  
"Why does that sound so desperate?" she teased.

He grinned up to her and let his hands wander over her thighs to her bottom.   
"Desperate...right," he muttered as he kissed her stomach through the fabric of her bathrobe.  
"Why?" her soft voice caressed him.  
He pressed his hands a bit harderer to her buttocks and she came a step closer.

"Because of you."

Sidney let his face wander over her belly after he had opened the robe and breathed her in until he reached her right pelvic bone and kissed it. Charlotte drew in the air sharply, as he trailed a path of warm kisses across her stomach, just above the waistband of her panties.

His hands stroked her sides and he let his face run over the soft skin of her belly. His stubble scratched in a pleasant and way and she moaned slightly. Then his moth had arrived on the other side and started to kiss and bite the bone of her pelvis there as well. His kisses on the soft skin of her thighs made her shiver. Slowly his face moved to the other side again. With soft lips he kissed her belly and circled her navel with his tongue. Slowly and seductively. He wrapped his arms around her a bit tighter, she came one step closer. Her breath went audibly faster as he kissed her right above her panties.

Again his mouth moved to her right thigh and this time he sipped gently on the tender skin on the inside of her leg, he moved slightly upwards and Charlotte gasped for breath but suddenly he was back on her left leg. While he again let warm kisses wander up to the pelvic bone, his fingers slipped upwards.

Playfully he took off the robe and Charlotte let her head fall into her neck and enjoyed what he did to her body with his tender hands. He saw her hands clenching into fists next to her body and he pulled back a little. He needed to slow down.

Her gaze sought his, and if that sight did not overwhelm him. Her eyes huge, her cheeks slightly blushed with lust, her lips slightly parted. Their eyes stuck together as he stroked tenderly over the sensitive tip of her breast, giving her a kiss again on her belly. She bit her lip. He heard her swallow. But when he tried to pull back, she clawed her fingernails into the skin of his shoulder. Sidney didn't move and waited for her. He would wait for her forever. He closed his eyes briefly as she let her fingers run into his hair and pulled them lightly. He wouldn't dare move one inch away from her. 

Charlotte let her head fall back into her neck again as she could feel his breath so close to her skin. Again he wandered from thigh to thigh, but where she wanted him most, it was just the thought of a touch.

Her body reacted so powerfully to every noticeable approach that it almost hurt. She reached out for his hand that lay on her waist and pressed it to her upper belly and then he continued his journey. At the same time his hand grabbed her bottom, tighter and a groaning escaped her. The expectation to feel his lips soon made her body shake slightly and she was almost too dizzy to notice that he let his fingers rest on her pelvis again. He pushed his long fingers into the waistband of her panties and waited. Charlotte's cold fingers touched his face and drew him closer to her. 

When her breath became too fast, he paused and just stroked his face gently across the inside of her leg. He inhaled her as he slowly let his nose move further up and then she calmed down. Her fingers clawed at his short hair, not sure if she pulled or squeezed him, but a moment later he kissed her.

The feeling was so overwhelming that she gasped trembling for breath. Sidney grabbed her a little tighter again and made pleasurable sounds as if he was enjoying a precious delicacy. Her knees gave way and her mind went blank. 

When she could think more clearly again, he towered over her. His eyes merged with hers and he smiled so stunningly that she simply lost her breath. He gently stroked her cheek before slowly approaching and kissing her neck.

As he pulled his shirt over his head, she lay down. Her sight resembled a painting. Her shapely legs slid into the gentle curve of her buttocks, begging to be touched by him. Her small back, went over into her beautiful shoulders, covered with her soft dark curls. But her face, with those soul-deep eyes that looked at him openly and trustingly, gripped him every time.

Sidney lay down beside her and stroked her with soft, delicate fingers until she leaned on her arm and kissed him lightly on the mouth. And as if that was the trigger he pressed himself against her until she rolled onto her back. He was glad that by the moon it was not completely dark outside and that he could see her in the diffuse light. With tickling fingers he painted small circles down her arm. His lips followed and sucked gently on her wrist. 

Charlotte was lightheaded. Again. It tickles and burns everywhere he touched and his stubble scratched rough yet gentle on the sensitive areas. He let his lips move down her body again and asked almost innocent into her skin   
"everything all right?"

His voice was so rough, and if that hadn't almost finished her off, she might have had time to breathe as he wandered further down. His lips were glued to her pelvic bone. She couldn't wait any longer and he knew it. Unable to put it into words, she turned to him. With his powerful hands, he grabbed her narrow hips and pressed her into the mattress.

"Hmmm?"

He hovered over her heated core and looked at her with black eyes. 

"Don't tease me." she breathed  
"Why does this sound so desperate?"

he teased her anyway and kissed her stomach. She trembled under his gentle torture until he slowly pushed her knees apart with his shoulders.

"bec...." she gasped as he blew lightly across her heated skin.  
"because... of... you."

she sounded almost frustrated, oh he wanted to savour the moment and kissed the inside of her thigh. He smiled as she reached for him and tugged him closer. And he sighed with relish to be at her service

"Sidney."  
and it was the only word she whispered for the rest of the night.

Ivi Symnock sat in the back of a small alcove in the seedy bar, waiting for his new boss. It felt like an old black-and-white movie, only the hats were missing. When finally someone sat down opposite him he had almost expected Humphrey Bogart. 

"What do you have for me?" he asked without hesitation.  
"As agreed, this is all the stuff I photographed of her today."  
"Are there copies?"  
"No, of course not." he laughed.

His counterpart raised his eyebrows.  
"I'm not a private detective." at the look the other one gave him, his laughter died immediately.  
"But a blackmailer."  
"not me, I never..."  
"You helped her."   
"Look, I'm not lying. I'm taking the footage and archiving it until she tells me she needs it."  
"And?"   
"Like I said, this is the stuff she never needed before."  
"What will you say to her if she asks now?"  
"That my computer crapped out."


	17. burned in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few secrets are revealed, Babington's preparatory work pays off and Charlotte wants to take the next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you again for your loyalty, the kudos, the compliments, the nice comments.
> 
> I hope you'll accept this chapter as a little thank-you.

Sidney saw the muscles dancing under the naked skin of her back as she reached for his shirt and slipped it on. Oh, how he loved it when she wore his clothes, even more when she didn't.  
Maybe that was a bit possessive, but it gave him an incredible sense of togetherness. Of course, it was too long for her, it covered her thighs and her hands disappeared into the sleeves. She seemed small and fragile and he just wanted to pull her into his arms and protect her from the big bad world. Charlotte was sometimes so reserved and shy, sometimes almost insecure, only to push him to his limits in a cheeky and demanding way in the next moment. She told him in words and showed him silently what she wanted and liked. Curious and without shyness she had explored his body and pushed him to his limits. Sidney was sure his heart had exploded the moment she showed him how much she trusted him.

After a while she came back in the bedroom with two steaming cups of coffee and gave him his. She took a sip, put the cup on the bedside table and crawled back into bed next to him. Her body snuggled up to him it felt like the most natural thing of the world. Charlotte was sure she belongs there and nowhere else.

Charlotte laid her face on his naked chest and listened to his heart beating restlessly.

"What's wrong?"  
"Hmm?" he looked at her smiling.  
"Your heart is beating so wildly." she said. He laughed briefly, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, so she lay halfway on top of him.

"You really have to ask?" 

He said with a serious face and kissed her forehead tenderly. She nestled closer to him and kissed his chin. Then she sat up and grabbed her coffee, accidentally dropped his phone, which he had carelessly thrown there when he had taken care of her last night.

"Oh, sorry."   
"No, it’s ok."

And he held her pressed tightly against him when he bent down. Charlotte grinned because it took him longer than you would think, and she was convinced that he was deliberately delaying it to keep her in that position. When he leaned back against the headboard of the bed and pulled her towards him with a grin, he threw the cell phone on the bed next to him. Just as his hand slipped under the shirt and the other hand crawled her face, the phone rang. Both moaned annoyed but tried to ignore it as their lips slowly met. But the ringing did not stop. 

"Damn it!" 

He growled and looked for it with his hand to turn it off or throw it against the wall, he wasn't sure yet. She just kissed his neck and moved so damn sexy that he almost threw it against the wall, if she hadn't pressed 'ok' and held it to his ear.

"What?" he growled into the phone.  
"Do I interrupting something?" a short laugh.  
"Quite." he growled and embraced Charlotte's back with his free arm, so she wouldn't leave. Their eyes glued together as he listened to what the caller had to say.

"What?" he suddenly shouted and closed his eyes briefly.  
Charlotte realized something must have happened and wanted to detach from him, but his grip on her grew stronger. She let her hands wander across his chest to his face, making him look at her again.

"Babs, you're the best!" he then stroked her hair.  
"I will ask her." Sidney said his goodbye and pulled Charlotte towards him for a slow and tender kiss.  
"What...did...he...say?" she stuttered breathlessly after a while.  
"That we have Ivy and all the material she ever collected." he reached into her hair with both hands and sucked lightly on her neck until she started to shiver.  
"g… good" that's all she was capable of.  
"And that he invited a few people for a little drink..."  
"Ahh" he wasn't sure that Charlotte listened to him and detached from her slightly.  
"Will you come with me?"  
"Where?" her eyes fluttered open. He grinned and stroked her lips tenderly with his.  
"To Andi..."  
"Of course." she smiled happily.  
"Even when other people are around?"  
"Does that mean we can only kiss and touch in secret?" her eyes sparkle, like she liked the idea.

"If that's what you want." he smiled.

Charlotte looked briefly at his lips and came closer. Sidney closed his eyes, but the kiss which he expected did not come. He opened his eyes again, her face hovering in front of his, and their eyes locked. Slowly she stroked his cheek and murmured.

"Just today."

Mary sat at the kitchen counter in Bedford Place and watched Tom as he came into the kitchen with his carefree face, chatting about meaningless things. She didn't react but thought about how impossible he was and mentally made a list of what she would most like to accuse him of.

She was amazed at herself that she could still bear him and his lies after all these years. The trust she had placed in him since their first meeting had been shaken within a few seconds when she had pulled the folder marked "open bills" from the shelf and some papers had fallen out. At first she had only been annoyed. About his sloppiness and his chaos. When she then looked through the papers to see if the invoice she was looking for was underneath, she could only shake her head. He had an accountant! How could this mess have happened? 

Mary had sat down on the floor and started to sort the papers by date. She was frozen when she found the document. Tears of disappointment and betrayal burned in her eyes and her soul. She was unable to breath. Mary was glad, that Sidney had promised to come home today. If she had told him what she had found, he would have come immediately, but she did not want to lead him away from his girlfriend. He was finally happy and she needed time to process what happened and what it would mean for her family. Their children.  
"Sidney's a real magnet, they're all over me!" Tom tore her from her thoughts with excitement.

She did not answer.

"I've already got a couple more scripts for him."  
Mary stared at him in disbelief and shook her head.

"Sidney's done with it." she gave back briefly, but she could have saved herself the trouble, because he just kept talking.

"I'm also planning a film series as a private detective with him." 

"With whom?" 

Sidney's dark baritone asked, and Mary was never so glad to see her brother-in-law. She jumped up and gave him a big hug and he immediately realised, unlike her husband, that something was wrong.

"Brother!" cried Tom and kept on rambling about some projects, but Sidney held up his hands defensively.

"This is my last film as an actor, you know that."  
"But..." the rest of the sentence stuck in Tom's throat, because he only now seemed to realize that Sidney really meant it.

"I'm glad you're here, I'd like to show you both something." Mary said and went into the study.

As the brothers entered the room behind her they saw the chaos but unlike Tom, only Sidney seemed to mind.

"What happened here?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

As they waited in vain for an explanation from Tom, who was making himself comfortable in an armchair at his desk, Mary explained to him.

"I looked for a bill, but I couldn't find it."  
"Don't you have people for that in the office?"

Tom ignored the question and tried to change the topic of conversation, but before Sidney could bombard his brother with questions, Mary put her hand on his arm and said,

"This is not what I wanted to talk about, but this!"

She put the document she had found the night before in Sidney's hands and he stared at the paper and then at his brother in disbelief. His voice took on a rumbling sound when he called out

"An apartment?"

Tom froze and looked at his brother and his wife alternately. Tom opened his mouth again and again to say something but remained silent. He seemed to imitate a fish, which gasped for air.

"A secret apartment!" Mary said with tears in her voice.

"You have a secret apartment?" Sidney shook with rage.  
"But why?" Sidney shouted angrily. 

"Yes, I..." Tom searched for words and began to push things back and forth on his desk.

More questions followed, but Tom just sat in his armchair like a pile of misery and buried his face in his hands.

"I am ruined." whined Tom.  
"You're not if you have secret flat," his brother yelled.  
But the look in Tom's eyes told him he didn't mean the money, as he shortly watched his wife.

"Sidney took over the production costs and paid your people!" Mary said in a strangely quiet way, "for years."   
Sidney looked at her for a second, she was right. Then he looked at his brother with disgust. Why did he do that? Why did he ruin his marriage?

"You lied to me." Mary looked briefly at Sidney, "To both of us!"  
Tom wept silently. Sidney went to Tom and forced him to look at him. 

"Say something, Tom!"  
"I... what can I say?"  
"The truth!" Sidney shouted. 

"Who is she?" Mary cried. “Say it!”   
Tom’s reply was only a whisper.

Mary sobbed up and hid her face in her hands. She couldn't believe what was being served to her. His words whirled around in her head. He had a mistress. For years! Tom lies about being broke and in debts. How many times had Sidney rushed to his aid and has unconsciously financed his life with his girlfriend.

"Why?" 

Charlotte saw Sidney's tension shimmering around him like an aura as he stood in front of his car.  
“We are late.” he grumbled as he kissed her briefly.

He opened her the door and went around to the driver's side. Sidney seemed like a caged animal just before it would break out and tear his keeper to pieces. Charlotte feared that he was suddenly not so sure of introducing her to his friends. While she put on her seatbelt, she searched for the right words, to put him out of his misery, as he probably didn't know how to say it, so she tried. 

"Sidney..."   
"Hmm?" 

She reached for his hand and pulled it to her mouth and kissed his knuckles.  
"If I don't go with you..."

"What?" Alarmed, he looked up, a thousand emotions running across his face.  
"You don't want to come with me?" Maybe it was all too fast and too much for her?

"I do!" she smiled "I just thought you might not want it..." and wryly grinned her sweet mouth as she pulled him closer to her side for a small kiss.

"But why…?" his voice trembled slightly, as Charlotte interrupted him.

"You're so tense and nervous..."

"But not because of that" he smiled, even though it did not reach his eyes.  
"I'm so happy to finally be able to show you off." 

He teased her and leaned in. She looked for his eyes and kissed him lightly and tenderly until he felt the strong desire to stay at home and pressed her against her seat.

"We'll be late." and breathed and parted from her reluctantly.

"Tell me what's wrong?" she asked gently as she watched him. 

"Tom!" His knuckles turned completely white when he grabbed the steering wheel in a rage.

"What's the matter with him?"

First he drove in total silence. He was looking for the right words, she knew that and she didn't want to push him.

Then it was a waterfall. Both felt the relief when he was finally ready to tell her everything. Sidney realized in that moment how well she understood him and his relationship with his brother, the emotional dependence, the need to help him and his family. The disappointment of Tom's betrayal. Charlotte had the gift of reassuring him with her gentle eyes and understanding. 

"What's Mary doing now?"  
"I think she wants to go to Sanditon with the kids the next days."

When they arrived at Babington's house, his tension was still palpable, but not quite as strong as before, but now there was a very different tension. His grip around her hand became stronger.

"What will you do?" 

"I have no idea." 

To relieve his tension, she gently caressed his chest before he pressed his face to her forehead and breathed her in. Her scent soothed him even more and her words surrounded him with confidence.

"We'll find a way."

"There you are!" cried Andrew Babington when he ripped open the door and hugged his friend.  
"Hi Charlotte!" he reached out his hand and hoped that she would not hold it against him for the charade of pretending to be the cameraman for Eliza.

"Hi Andi," she smiled.  
"This is my wife Esther and that is princess Emma" and pointed to the red-haired beauty beside him, who was holding a little girl who already had her arms stretched out to Charlotte.

"Hello, little one." she said softly as she took the smiling child.

Charlotte smiled back so enchanting to him over her shoulder, that Sidney had to swallow the feelings that were rising in him in this moment. The glimpse of the future he wanted with Charlotte, but which he had not yet allowed himself to admit.

"Oh boy!" cried Andi and laughed heartily as he patted Sidney on the back.  
"It's her, hmm?"

"Yes." He looked after her as she went out into the garden with Esther and Emma.

"I can see it, it's burned into your eyes."   
Sidney shook his head over his friend.

"She is burned in my heart." 

When they went outside, Andrew noticed,  
"You might be surprised at the guests."  
"Why?"  
"Jonathan Smith."   
Sidney looked at his friend with raised eyebrows.  
"The ’King of the Mornings’?”

Babington nodded and led his friend into the garden and introduced them. ‘The King of the Mornings’ was back in control of himself. When he had arrived earlier and exchanged the first few sentences with Lord Andrew Babington, he had been convinced that he had been invited to a small come together of the 'Babington Charity Foundation'. But then Babington had started talking about Eliza Campion. He had said that she had also made Mrs Babington's life difficult, of course Jonathan remembered the scandal. And then Babington said,

"I hope you don't give this horrible person one minute of airtime," and handed him a memory card. Jonathan had opened his eyes in shock and was still searching for the right words when Andrew said,  
"Now she can't blackmail you anymore."   
"My boyfriend and I have been together for 24 years!" he returned upset.  
"I don't want to know about this," Babington said.  
"He was 26 then!"  
"I don't want to know." Babington said again, but listened anyway.  
"He comes from a distinguished family, so we're keeping it a secret." Tears came to his eyes. Andrew slapped Jonathan on the back amicably and handed him a glass of wine.  
"Thank you!" he whispered.

While Sidney had chatted a little with Jonathan and roughly talked about a possible collaboration on a podcast, his gaze quietly searched for Charlotte. She played with little Emma as a matter of course until she was brought into the house for the night and then she mingled charmingly with the other guests. He could hear her laughing and it filled him with pride that she was able to win everyone over in her natural way.

It wasn't until he saw Frank Crowe that he said goodbye to Jonathan. He had a mission.

"Parker!" yelled Crowe and came running toward him.  
"Hi Frank, long time no see."  
"Yes, it's been ages."  
The two had known each other since their youth, but the contact had been a bit rusty in the last few years. 

"What are you doing, Crowe?"   
"I joined my father's publishing house to run the men's magazine."  
"Ahh, sounds exciting."  
"Do you know what you're doing now?" Asked Frank and his eyes flashed as Sidney answered truthfully.

"Not really yet, but something will turn up."  
"Still writing?"  
"Yeah, right."  
"Maybe I have something for you." Crowe said thoughtfully, "I'm looking for a famous man to write a column for us."  
"And that's when you thought of me?" Sidney asked astonished, although Babington had already thought of something like that.

"We're not paying badly," Crowe remarked with a grin.  
"That's not my point." Sidney then said thoughtfully and was glad when Frank asked,  
"What do you want? Any demand you make will be met. I'm the second in charge at the publishing house." he laughed "I'll get everything done."

"No collaboration with Eliza Campion." Sidney gritted his teeth and looked his old friend seriously in the eye.  
"Oh, okay. Good to know, she just had a little interview for the women's magazine."  
Sidney pulled a face and shook his head.  
"I can't work for you if she's doing something for another magazine of yours."  
"That won't happen then!" Crowe emptied his glass and took another, "when are you coming over? Then we can discuss everything else?"

Frank was always direct and Sidney was glad that another idea of Babington had worked out.  
“Tomorrow?”  
“That's great!” he patted Sidney on the back, “Now let's talk about this adorable creature.”

He pointed at Charlotte and Sidney had to clench his jaws and fists together to not say anything.   
"She is..."  
"A really good actress." he then interrupted him and then talked about the work on the movie and the film.  
"That could be your first subject." said Crowe and then gave Sidney a few more suggestions on what the column could be like.

Charlotte kept watching Sidney secretly as he talked to various guests at his friends' little garden party. She saw the tension in his shoulders increase again in the course of the evening. But with the intense look he kept giving her, she knew that he was now under a different kind of tension. The need to be close to him was also growing in her. Charlotte was glad that Esther kept engaging her in conversation. But when Esther saw over the baby monitor that her daughter needed her and said goodbye briefly, Charlotte could not prevent her gaze from wandering automatically to Sidney.

When their eyes met, it was as if he made her burn with his gaze alone. She emptied her glass of champagne in one go and then strolled slowly to the buffet. Just when she had put some treats on her plate, she felt him coming closer. The heat he radiated penetrated her, and her heart pounded in her chest as he touched her lightly on the hips. They avoided looking at each other and pretended not to long for each other.

"I think I'll be leaving soon," she muttered as she bit into a strawberry. 

The urge to lick the little sweet drop of strawberry juice from her lips was overwhelming and Sidney had to take a few steps away from her to avoid pulling her into his arms.

"I see," he looked into her eyes intensely. Then he turned and strolled back to Babington.

The rest of the evening blurred in a whirlwind of emotions. Again and again he stood close to her and inhaled her scent and the small hairs on her neck stood up when he touched her lightly as if by accident. At some point Charlotte couldn't stand it anymore and said her goodbye. The general mood of departure now also brought the others to leave. Again it was Esther’s art to distract the others guests, so that the two of them were able to leave the house unseen together and get to Sidney's car.

Similar to the journey here, Sidney grabbed the steering wheel so tightly that she feared he would tear it out at the next opportunity. Although they were actually getting back to her apartment quickly, Sidney puffed at every red light. He didn't say a word and she remained silent as well. The emotions and the desire clouded her thoughts. Charlotte didn't think she could come up with even one reasonable sentence.

No sooner had he parked the car than they jumped out and went to the elevator without looking at each other. The seconds of waiting stretched out and felt like hours. When finally the relieving 'ping' could be heard, a tense groan escaped them and as soon as the door closed behind them, they were already lying in each other's arms. They literally devoured each other.

By the time they got to her door, she had already pulled out her key and tried to put it in the lock, but her hands were so trembling with desire for his touch that it fell out of her hands. He picked it up, reached around her and kissed her neck while he opened the door and they both stumbled in.

In an unbelievable fast movement he freed himself from his sweater and pulled her into his arms. He overwhelmed her with his mouth and she wrapped her leg around him moaning until he lifted her up with ease and pressed her against the next wall.

"It took too long."

He whispered into her cleavage while his hands moved powerfully over her body. Charlotte was unable to move, she could only feel and clawed her fingers into his arms. She leaned back a little so he could caress her front through the fabric of her blouse, but to her surprise he ignored this and grabbed the collar. He raised his head and his gaze merged with hers as he tore open the delicate fabric with a powerful jerk. Charlotte sucked in the air sharply and felt a warmth crash over her. It felt wild and naughty. The rattling of the buttons on the floor faded to a distant sound as he pressed her even harder against him and kissed her fervently. She embraced his head with her arms as he covered her neck with kisses. She yearned painfully for the touch of him and pushed of her bra, while he carried her to bed. He laid her down and she pulled him on top of her and embraced him with arms and legs, it was hard for both to breathe, but she didn't want him to move even one inch away from her.

"I love you." she breathed and pressed herself even closer against him.

He was afraid to crush her and rolled onto his back and dragged her with him. His lips trailed over her neck and found the tender tips of her breasts and she had to hold on to the headboard to not fall. Sidney was much wilder and she loved it. It burned everywhere and even her head was tingling. Charlotte was so carried away that at some point she bit him lightly in the shoulder and he let this deep growl roll up in his chest, which was like a hot wave spilling through them both. She then pulled him up to a sitting position and wrapped her hands around his face.

"I want you." 

"Charlotte." he moaned.  
All the feelings in him burned from his eyes into hers and he kissed her wildly and impetuously. 

"I am ready." she muttered as she bit tenderly on his neck and he moaned loudly with desire.

"Are you sure?" His hands moved to her bottom and pressed her firmly against him. She whimpered in such an unbelievably beguiling tone that he almost forgot she had been drinking.

"But you were drinking." he gave a moment's thought. 

A short wave of disappointment overflowed her and she asked him while pressing him back into the pillow.

"Do you want me?"

She kissed down his chest and her searching hands opened his jeans. 

"Oh God" he moaned as her delicate fingers slipped into his boxer briefs.

"You want me." She remarked boldly.  
"Of course I want you."

He rumbled as he rolled her back again and in one quick movement freed himself from his pants. She stared at him and suddenly bit her lips intimidated. She had already seen him like that and had shown him her love, but now she had become a little insecure. The alcohol had probably clouded her mind a bit.

He lay down next to her again and began to caress her tenderly and slowly free her from the rest of her clothes. Her breath went faster. But every light touch calmed her more and when he lovingly took care of her and warmed her with the certainty in his voice.

"We'll take the next step whenever you want."

She nodded and was sure her heart was burning, as both whispered in the same moment.

"I love you so much."


	18. until it felt right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things feel right and some things don't.   
> Still, Charlotte, Sidney and his brother are beginning to realize something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long again.
> 
> I had a little crisis regarding time management. Lockdown, homeschooling, one kid in school, one at home, no time to write or read or breath...I feel like I need forever for everything...
> 
> But now finally the new chapter, I hope you like it and relax (like Sidney ;-)

"What ... what are you doing?" cried Tom as he stumbled out of his office where he had spent the night, watching Mary walk towards the front door, loaded with bags. She would not move out and leave him, would she? She would forgive him, as usual, would she not?

"I'm taking the children to Sanditon." she answered without turning around, slipping into her jacket.

"But Mary, I..." 

"What?" her look was hard and cold like steel and all the words stuck in his throat, he didn't know exactly what to say anyway. 

"Remember, we'll be back Sunday night."

"I thought....." he started and still couldn't go on.

"The kids have to go to school on Monday in case you forgot."  
"No, of course not." he answered quietly and searched for her eyes.  
"I want you to be gone by then."

Mary turned around and walked the few steps to her car, in which the children were already seated and waving to their father. For their sake, he made a happy face or rather he tried and hoped that they did not see, that it felt like a grimace.

Tom waved to them until they turned forward, and only at the moment when the car went around the next corner, and he could no longer see the rear lights, he did understand. Not full and not everything, of course, but a part became conscious to him at that moment and burned itself irretrievably into his brain. 

He had lost a part of his life. 

Only when a deep sob reminded him that he was crying did he realize that he had destroyed his family. His marriage, the friendship that had always accompanied their relationship, the understanding without words. Mary, love of his life.

He wiped away his tears as he went back in and locked the door behind him. Slowly he wandered through the ground floor. His office, where he had spent the night, it could all stay that way for now. Of course, he understood that Mary wanted him to leave that was the least he could do. Her pain-stricken face would probably haunt him forever, but what could he do? It wasn't meant to be, it wasn't the way he wanted it to be. Leave the comfort, the ease of living together, the caring? No.   
He had only run away from the everyday life now and then, the responsibility, the considered action. Mary wanted honesty, and yet she had forgiven him all lies, she would forgive him those lies too, he was sure of that. She just needed a little time.

He wandered on, came into the kitchen, where her cup of tea still stood, which she hadn't even finished. The children's cereal bowls, they hadn't put them away either. Tom picked up the leftovers from his family's breakfast and washed them off slowly, it was almost like self-cleaning. Because when he was finished and went upstairs and picked up the little things that were lying around and put them in their place, opened the windows and made the beds, he suddenly realized one thing. 

He was free. And it felt right.

Freed from the weight of lies, the responsibility not to say the wrong name accidentally, free from the bad conscience. It would all be so much easier. Better. Everyone knew everything. Now there were no more secrets and no more lies.

He would still spend the weekends with his kids. And work with Mary, just like before. Except the marital obligations would fall away. Not, that he didn't enjoy having sex with Mary but it was not so exciting like it was with Eliza. Satisfied with himself, he walked around the house and began to put clothes in a bag. She would be so happy that they could finally be together. 

Tom would surprise her with news of his newfound freedom on Sunday. Today he would talk to Sidney again. He wrote a message to his brother that he would like to invite him for dinner at Bedford Place he was sure Sidney would not refuse him. He never did.

Sidney still saw the message in his mind's eye, although the display of his phone was already staring at him darkly. He closed his eyes to block out the pain he felt for Mary. He could not avoid the stabbing pain of disappointment about his brother and the loss of the idyllic peace that his brother and Mary's marriage had always exemplified to him. Mary was closer to him than his own sister he could not bear to see her suffer.   
Mary had arrived safely in Sanditon and he was glad that Arthur and Diana would look after her and the children. Even if is it only for two days the distance would hopefully bring her some peace.

He pressed the sixteenth floor button as he entered the elevator and tried to concentrate on the meeting with Crowe, hoping Frank would not want to know what his problem with Eliza was. Although he trusted him as an old friend of Babington and himself, Frank's father was simply a media mogul who wanted to sell his magazines. He had to be on his guard.

He took a deep breath and decided to send a message to Mary before he would concentrate on this.

"Leave the kids with A&D and go to my place."

Mary needed some silence to think about what to do next. After all, her whole life was built around Tom. Her work, time and money spent on all his projects. Nothing left for her. He was glad that his siblings saw it the same way like him and had promised her any support. How Tom could be so dumb as to hurt this wonderful woman and throw her out of his life was a mystery to him. And that for that bitch! All, the more reason to make Eliza’s life a burning hell.

Sidney shook his head to get rid of this feeling of disgust and was relieved when the elevator door opened and an older woman was already waiting for him, a welcoming smile on her lips.

She took him to an office whose walls were made of milk glass. So you could see everything and still lose yourself in the idyll of anonymity. He shook his head, as he was sure Crowe had other reasons for having his office decorated this way.

"Parker!" 

He shouted and came running out of his office to give him a big welcome. It was a show of course, as they had only seen each other last night, but the looks Crowe got from his mostly female employees made Sidney shake his head.

"You act as if we hadn't seen each other in years."

Sidney smiled and glanced briefly at the employees who suddenly all had something to do in the corridor. He smiled at them and said “hello” and all the women were giggling their answers.

"Oh you know how it is," Frank grinned and led Sidney into his huge office, which had lounge at the back window.   
"My desirable friends, make me even more attractive."

"Is that so?" Sidney raised an eyebrow and remembered a vow Crowe had once made to himself, much like his own, never to become involved with employees. He took a deep breath and smiled.

"What are you smiling at?"   
"Oh, I just remembered your vow..."  
"Ha!" cried Frank and waited until his secretary, who had brought the coffee, disappeared from the room and closed the door behind her.   
"I have always maintained that I would never get involved with a colleague."

He made the artificial pause so conspicuous that Sidney was naturally forced to ask. 

"But?"

"But that doesn't include their friends or sisters," again a fake pause in which Crowe took a sip of his coffee and sat back in his chair.   
"Or the staff of our advertising clients." he laughed and Sidney noticed Crowe watching him.

"And you?"

Sidney clenched his jaw and answered truthfully,  
"I never get involved with advertising clients or employees."

Crowe grinned knowingly, and Sidney knew that he knew. Inside he cursed himself that he had not paid more attention at the party last night. Besides, who could blame him? 

Charlotte was so charming and the enforced distance made her all the more desirable. To his shame, he had briefly forgotten the affair with Tom and Mary, since Charlotte had so enthralled him. And all the rich and noble people present at Babington's little party had been entranced by her charm. The jealousy as soon as she spoke to a man burned in his throat and he moved closer to her. It was quite clear that she had noticed and spoken to him about it this morning. He trusted her, of course, but not the guys who had besieged her, although he could not really blame them. 

Sidney knew, of course, that he was so much in love with her that he would not see her faults, if she even had any. But one thing was clear to him despite this knowledge, no matter what she would ever do, he would forgive her. He was probably more like Mary than Tom. And that made him breath out loud.

"You are lost." Crowe said and laughed at his old fellow.   
"Well, when it becomes official, I would be happy to see an exclusive interview or picture story in one of my magazines." 

Frank took another sip of coffee he grinned smugly and then asked, as if he had not just had an unconfirmed rumour presented to him on a silver platter.

"So, what do you think of the column I'm offering you?"   
"I would love it. Thanks for the chance to write, but ….."   
"I know that Eliza Campion is persona non grata!" Crowe interrupted him,   
"My, uh, friend hates her so much she'll be very happy she'll never do anything for us again." Frank chuckled.  
"Friend?" Sidney said to resist the urge to tell Crowe all about Eliza.  
"Yes, the granddaughter of a friend of my father's. That’s why I thought of you again."   
"Why?"   
"She works in the press office at a hotel in a seaside Resort."

Charlotte stood in the ballet hall and tried to concentrate on the large lifting figure, which was the highlight not only in the miniseries but also in the pas de deux. Since shooting would begin with the dance scenes next week, she had to know the choreographies by heart so that there would be no delays during shooting.

"You must absolutely internalize the steps!" 

Her trainer had explained over and over again, and fortunately, her dance training was to her advantage. The choreography was not the problem, just this one lift.

Sidney had also tried to encourage her and had taught her a few tricks that he had used throughout his career, especially before the stunts he was allowed to do by himself. But somehow it did not work. 

She trusted her dancing partner Paul and his ability to lift and hold her. She knew how to run and when to jump and yet she always slowed down. It was like an inner barrier, a threshold she could not cross even though she wanted to.

Self-doubt gnawed at her and she kept asking what else she could do. Paul had also lifted her from a standing position and let her slide into the next figure and showed her the figure again and again with the dancer Jasmine, who danced the other parts. But she could not bring herself to run and just…jump. It was very frustrating.

After three hours of training, Charlotte took off her shoes and examined her aching feet for sore spots and minor wounds. The training today had not been particularly exhausting, only her failure with the lift.

"Come here," Jasmine then said and pointed to follow her into an empty hall. She turned to Charlotte and then laid her hands flat on her non-existent stomach and chest in a somewhat theatrical manner.

"You must feel it here," she said calmly but with conviction in her voice.  
"Think that you're not afraid, think that you're free to take the plunge!"

Though the words referred to the lifting figure, Charlotte knew the deeper meaning.

"Close your eyes and dance in your thoughts." 

Jasmine told her, and Charlotte ran through the choreography in her mind, knowing the meaning of the steps. And like in meditation, she breathed in sync with her heartbeat and became more and more calm inside. 

"Your thoughts are free, like your body."

Suddenly Charlotte heard the music although nobody was playing it and felt the dance. Feel the wind on her skin when she ran towards Paul and this tickles in her stomach. The next moment Charlotte was floating above his head, she was free and it felt incredibly good.

"You are ready."

Jasmine said, as Charlotte slowly opened her eyes again. 

"Only if you feel it there," Jasmine put her hands over Charlotte's "warm and honest, you know it's right."

And even though Charlotte knew that Jasmine meant the jump into the difficult lift and the feeling in general when dancing, Charlotte recognized the truth for herself and knew what to do. She smiled and happily took Jasmine in her arms.

“Thank you.”

Jonathan Smith grinned so broadly that his long-time colleagues were worried if he might have taken any drugs. Of course, they knew he had not, but his silly grin was so striking that they couldn't help but worry. Maybe he had finally proposed to his long-time boyfriend? Even though officially nobody knew, who the lucky one was, everybody knew something.

But no, the 'King of the Mornings' was happy that he was able to undo Eliza Campion. He made her believe that her interview, which he had recorded with her this morning, would be broadcast next Friday. Ha! But while Eliza was thinking to get new viewers for her stupid blog, her sponsors will run away because she could not get the job done to get new viewers.

Jonathan laughed briefly and was so incredibly pleased with himself, about the course of fate he embraced his co-worker when she told him that she had already sent him the list of selected titles for the planned podcast. He sent the list directly to Sidney and said his goodbye for him it was the end of the day, even though it wasn't even noon.

Eliza Campion leaned self-satisfied into her sofa and thought feverishly about how and with whom she could now celebrate her future success. Everything went according to plan. She scrolled through her address book and enthusiastically got stuck on a number, she still had to show her appreciation for the platform Becroft would give her on the premiere night. She was so excited that she was already tipsy from just one glass of champagne. She dialled the number.

"Yes?" Becroft's business-like voice burned into her ear.  
"I thought you might like to celebrate with me", she said in a seductive voice.  
"Why, ahh Eliza," he didn't recognize her? Slightly frustrated, she snippily returned,  
"I seem to be bothering..." just as she was about to hang up, his voice came back to her ear. Oh, how she loved it when they were on their knees begging to get back in her good graces.

Laughing, they arranged to meet and Eliza, while he was spouting some nonsense, decided to just have a nice day in spa and watch the documentary that the French television made about her a few years ago.

"Tomorrow I'm all yours."   
She whispered to the film distributor and imagined the next actions with him.

When Charlotte get home in the early evening, packed with several bags, tried to put the key in the lock, she was a little startled and incredibly happy when the door opened and Sidney stood in front of her. Immediately he took the bags from her and brought them into the kitchen.

"Why didn't you write, I could have gone shopping." he said as he lovingly stroked her face and gave her a gentle kiss.  
"Oh, yes, I didn't want to disturb you in case you were with Tom," she started and bit her lip.  
She just couldn't lie to him, but she couldn't tell him the truth either. 

"Does it bother you that I'm here?" 

Sidney asked alarmed. He had more or less taken up residence with her since they were together. Maybe she needed some space? Was he too possessive, because he wanted to be with her any moment, did he smother her with his affection?

"Oh God, no!"   
Charlotte called out and wrapped her arms around his middle and honestly admitted   
"I love it when you're here."

Sidney took a breath of relief and held her tighter in his arms.

"I was afraid I'd overwhelm you."  
"Never." she returned immediately, "I want you with me, ever." she smiled like a love-stupid idiot when she realized the deeper meaning, and was glad he didn't answer. She pressed her face in his chest and breathed him in. She had plans for tonight, but she couldn't prepare when he was here. She had to give him something, to leave the flat.

"But I, uh..." how could she say that? "I need a few minutes to... erm…. prepare."

Oh, no, she needed her rest, Sidney thought. Her small apartment might have been too cramped after all, and he might finally tell her what he had planned. He just hoped she wouldn't freak out if he suggested moving in together, but before he could, she murmured

"I have something for you." 

She reluctantly broke away from him and opened one of the bags in which she literally dipped in, digging out a beautiful box. It was dark wood and looked like an old treasure chest. It smelled of leather and old tobacco and Sidney was completely overwhelmed. She could not know it, but such a similar box was in his study in Sanditon. It seemed to him as if he was holding the second part of a set in his hands.

"Charlotte..." his voice was just a whisper,  
"Open it!" she cried excitedly and the joy of giving him a gift seemed to shine out of every pore.

After he finally opened the somewhat battered closure, he pushed the squeaking lid up and the overwhelming smell of leather and old books struck them in their faces. He picked out one of the rather tattered books.

"I found these at a flea market," she said happily as he looked at the titles.   
"How did you find them so quickly?" he said, after all, he had only told her this morning about the podcast request Jonathan had made to him. She had enthusiastically asked him to send her the selection, as she was an old bookworm and probably had a few copies lying around.

"I've had my eye on it for quite some time," she shrugged her shoulders, gave him a little kiss on the cheek and turned her back on him as she walked around the kitchen counter.  
"I wasn't going to buy it until it felt right," she said cryptically.

"Charlotte", he loved it when she was too overwhelmed by her feelings and could hardly speak in clear sentences, but even more he loved it when he could hold her in his arms in this moments. Sidney stood up and kissed the tender spot on her neck as he wrapped his arms around her narrow waist. 

"Just say it."

Charlotte took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"When you send me the e-mail with your choices and they were all my favourite books…” a quiet sob escaped her “it’s perfectly clear...to me" her voice broke, full of emotion.

Sidney turned her around in his arms and kissed her gently on top of her head, his heart was pounding in his throat and he could hardly believe what she had just said.

"What?” his voice was hardly a whisper.  
“That we were meant for each other."

Tom prepared his temporary move with mixed feelings. He was sure he would come back after a while, just for the children. Of course the certainty gnawed at him, that he normally didn't see them that often during the week anyway, that they might not even notice if he wasn't there. He shook his head after a moment of pause and shifted his thoughts to later.

Since his brother ignored all his calls and messages, he would just go to Eliza a little earlier. Perhaps he could take her out for a feudal lunch. After all, she had mentioned this so many times before and often even cried because Saturdays simply belonged to his children. Once more he walked through his family's house, looked at the photos on the walls as he walked by and took a deep breath. Then he took the house key and locked the door behind him. In the car he carelessly threw it into the console and drove off, toward his new life.

Sidney felt more relaxed than he had in years. The warmth which shone into the room from the early midday sun and which Charlotte radiated penetrated his skin and warmed his insides, like her beautiful words in the kitchen. Charlotte lay nestled against his body like a cat, at such a strange angle, their legs tied together. He had moved away from her a little, but she had moved even closer to him in her sleep. 

It was damned hot.

He would have loved to rip the clothes off her body, but that would have meant breaking away from her and he just couldn't risk that. Instead he pushed the blanket away as far as he could and enjoyed the cool air coming in through the window, on his hot skin. He began to stroke her hair lovingly and wrapped single strands of hair around his fingers and then put the curl down again. Sidney wanted to see her face and moved carefully so that she slowly slipped off him. 

At last he had an unobstructed view of her, how she could sleep in those thick pyjamas was a mystery to him, but he was glad that the collar had slipped a little and the perfect curve of her narrow shoulder was shining out of the fabric.

Absent-minded he painted little circles on her forearm, like she had done last night all over his body. He could still feel the slight tremor that her touch had caused. Without the slightest sign that she wanted to seduce him, she had nevertheless managed to completely destroy him. With her loving tenderness she had let his body burn.

After she had lovingly thrown him out of the apartment and brought him back after half an hour, she led him into her bedroom. She had created an inviting atmosphere from countless candles her bed was decorated with blankets and pillows and in the background played intoxicatingly quiet relaxation music that reminded him of the sound of the sea. She had slowly taken off his shirt and his treacherous body had reacted secretly, but instead of giving in to his desires, he had given himself completely into her hands.

Charlotte had just innocently massaged his back and arms. And he had come to rest in a spiritual intoxication of complete relaxation. Sidney was aware that he had never given himself to anyone like that before. He had fallen asleep and had only woken up briefly once more when she had snuggled up against him and cuddled him back to sleep. It had been beautiful and to savour this moment even more he now snuggled up under her chin, his nose pressed against her collarbone, his arms wrapped around her body.

When Tom walked to his apartment with a huge bunch of flowers and a silly grin on his face, his heart was pounding so hard with excitement that he almost rang the doorbell instead of just unlocking it. As quietly as possible, he unlocked himself and crept into the apartment. 

"What are you doing here?" she shouted in horror as she tied her robe tighter around her waist and looked at him with a mean look.

"This is my place now, too," Tom answered her and came closer to take her in his arms.

"But..." she pushed him away and seemed slightly nervous.   
Tom was about to formulate a question as to why this was so, when a voice called out for her from the bedroom.

"What...?" Tom could barely whisper as she put on that piercing look that almost brought him to his knees.  
"Tom, I need my freedom, you know that!" 

She then gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek and without another word turned around and went back to her lover.


	19. on edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the week before the premiere and everyone's on edge;
> 
> Tom has the choice, Mary makes a decision, Eliza thinks she'll get what she deserves...Ivy has a bad feeling, Babs has a plan.   
> Charlotte has a lot to do and less time with Sidney. He is very much in love and also a bit desperate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The first part of Sidlotte is a bit...um...hot - so if you don't like this kind of stuff, please skim (but as you know my writing about this kind of stuff is not explicit)...

To make sure that Tom would indeed grant Mary's wish, Sidney spent all Sunday in Bedford Place. Later, he helped Mary put the children to bed and tried to be a good friend to her. But she didn't talk much and asked even less.

"You can go see your girl if you want."  
"Mary, it's all right. I'll help you with the kids in the morning."  
"No, Sidney, I don't need that." she pushed her hair out of her face.  
"Well, you weren't there before, and Tom's never been any help."  
Her face took on a look of disgust.   
"And once you're back in Sanditon, I shall have to manage on my own somehow."

"I don't know if I'll go back completely," he said and ran his hair briefly.  
"Oh?" asked Mary, whose eyes were smiling after all.  
"Well, I erm... I'm writing a column for Crowe."  
"You can write it in Sanditon," she said amusedly.  
"Maybe I'll... I mean..." He left out air.  
"That serious?" she knew him too well and was so happy for her brother-in-law, who was more like a brother to her. Sidney felt uncomfortable admitting it when she was about to think about a divorce from her husband and just nodded briefly.

"I'm so happy for you Sidney!" Mary gave him a big hug and said,   
"I know it's a huge step for you to even consider this."

"Yes it is."   
"And what does she say?" she asked curiously.  
"I haven't said anything yet..."

Mary shook her head and then patted him on the shoulder.  
"You'll find the right time."

Later Mary successfully sent Sidney away to take a bath and because she wanted to be alone. She had to think about what to do next. On the way to his car he checked the messages on his mobile phone and saw twenty-six from Tom, but he ignored all of them. Since Babington had called, he called him back while driving to Charlotte's apartment.

Charlotte did some stretching exercises while learning her lines for the shoot the next day in front of the window. She tried to stretch her 'bad' left leg more and was therefore lying in the splits longer. When it became uncomfortable, she turned her upper body to the middle and shifted her weight forwards. She leaned on her forearms, while memorize a difficult passage, trying to stretch even deeper when she heard the door open. 

Sidney's tension after the conversation with Babington, who, thanks to Ivy, knew that Tom was having an affair with Eliza, was already quite strong and he was already looking forward to Charlotte because he knew only her sight would soothe him. As he opened the door his tension worsened, but in a completely different way.

"Damn." he moaned as he stared at her butt, which was stuck in tight sports shorts, moving up and down in rapid movements, apparently trying to get even deeper into the straddle. Or as she called it, the male splits.

She smiled at him over her shoulder and saw him standing in the doorway with a tense expression and said innocently,

"Don’t worry, it doesn't hurt."

She really had no idea what she was doing to him.

Sidney grumbled something and disappeared without another word in the bedroom. He wished there was a television to turn on as a distraction, but instead of zapping through the channels, clear images flooded his mind. He was almost desperate, but he did not want to push her to anything. Ashamed, he let himself fall on the bed, took the pillow that lay uncomfortably in his back and threw it so hard against the wall that one of the pictures fell down there.

"What is it?" 

Charlotte asked in a worried tone as she came closer. But not wanting her to see what his body thought, he quickly got up and went to one of the commodes. He turned his back on her while pretending to look for something in one of the drawers.

"Tell me what's going on", she murmured into his back as she hugged him from behind and let her hands wander across his chest and stomach. 

And as if she knew exactly what was going on, her hands moved deeper in a disturbing slow way, but in front of the waistband of his pants he held her hands.

"It's nothing."

Although she would not have made it if he really did not want her to, she turned him around with incredible effort. He avoided her gaze, he did not want her to see that he was totally ... keen on her.

"I wouldn't say that's nothing," she grinned in his face and Sidney laughed, but his laugh died as soon as she reached out for him.

She pressed herself against him and kissed him eagerly. Of course, he could no longer resist her, so he gave himself up to her. Her tongue whirled into his mouth she was as hungry for him as he was for her. It was so violently that he stumbled against the wall. He could feel every tender muscle in her thin training clothes and it did not help him to feel and of course see that she was not wearing a bra.

"Charlotte..." 

He moaned in her hair as she began to undo his pants and wrap her leg around him. Sidney grabbed it and pulled it up to his waist to press even closer to her. She moaned, but she pulled her leg back and pushed his shirt over his head. She ran her hands across his chest at an excited pace and sucked on his neck. Oh damn, she smelled so good and her delicate fingers laid a burning path across his hypersensitive body. He leaned down and began to kiss her neck and was about to suck on the pulse point as she leaned away from him.

Of course he knew she was afraid for any evidence of their lust, since she finally had a shoot the next day. He rumbled anyway and grabbed her hips and pulled her so hard to him that they both groaned. She moved against him before releasing his hands from her body and pressed them against the wall next to him.

Questioningly he looked at her and saw how her eyes glowed with desire. She leaned forward and kissed his throat, the soft part underneath, then she moved down over his chest. She twisted a little to follow these lateral muscles, which were showing the path, she wanted to follow. First with her fingers, than with her mouth. And Sidney put a hand on her ass to press her back against him, but she had other plans. He did n'o realize it until she was making a quick movement tearing down his pants….and he stood before her completely exposed. 

Then she lowered her body onto the pillow in front of him and began to kiss his legs down.

"Charlotte, no, you don't have to…. ahh!"

She gently bit his thigh before massaging it lightly with her hands. Sidney moaned breathless as she slowly blew over his most sensitive part. 

She had done it before, once in the shadow of the night, when only the moon gave an idea of what they looked like. But to know that the woman, he desired beyond all measure and loved more than anything else, knelt before him robbed him of the strength to breathe. He looked up at the ceiling to gather himself.

Charlotte saw his Adam's apple bouncing up and down as he desperately tried to calm down. She still could not believe she had such an effect on him, and what she was about to do. But she wanted it. He made her want to do it without him ever expecting it. 

She loved it when he gave her control. And he loved it too, as she could see.

"Look at me." she whispered and he squinted his eyes briefly.

Charlotte could not say exactly why, but she wanted him to look at her. When he had controlled himself so far to look at her she smiled and he shook his head overwhelmed. Their eyes locked as she slowly leaned closer, and he closed his eyes again. His hands were clenched in fists next to his body and Charlotte interlinked her fingers with his while kissing him gently. She placed one of his hands in her hair.

Sidney sighed as he felt her soft hair under his fingertips. She wanted him to guide her. But that was not possible, she was only supposed to do what she wanted and he would do nothing to......Oooh!   
He strengthened his grip as she did… this ...with her tongue and... Oh, what…the…   
He lost every thought as she was humming and taking her time and the only thought that rushed through his mind was. 

“I’m yours".

She seemed a little …disappointed when he pulled her up after a while and pressed her to him in a devouring kiss. His arms firm around her small frame, one hand buried in her hair. As they parted, Charlotte pressed her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He only realized that he had spoken out loud earlier when she answered him.

"And I am yours."

Ivy Symnock did not regret much in his life, although not everything he had done was good. Regarding relationships he was an absolute failure, although he loved all these women and tried to make them happy. His current girlfriend already lost interest in him, why he could not say exactly, maybe because he never talked about his work and often had to cancel dates spontaneously. However, this was also his most lucrative job and he also had the feeling to finally do something good and to wash away his sins. 

He was the purest angel compared to the monster Eliza Campion.

He had passed on all the memory cards to his new client unseen and had received a lot of money in return. Ivy had already paid his alimony to his ex-wives for the next months. Actually he could have been satisfied, but he was not. When Eliza instructed him the night before to shadow Mr Tom Parker's wife and children, he became quite sick. Not only had she given him the timetables, she even knew the addresses of the girls' ballet school, Henry's best friend and when Mary was going to the doctor with Baby James. It seemed to Ivy as if she had read Tom Parker's private calendar and he was terribly afraid of what else she was capable of.

Therefore he had requested an unscheduled meeting Monday morning with his mysterious employer, but he had meanwhile revealed him to be Lord Babington. Gossip was his life after all. Worried he told him about his suspicions and the Lord listened to him with a serious face.

"Thanks for telling me," he said, scratching his chin.  
"What am I going to do now?"  
"Pretend to do your job."   
"She'll want proof." suspected Ivy and drank his coffee, his breakfast he had not touched.

Babington looked at him with a worried expression and nodded, the whole story taking on proportions he or Sidney had never expected. 

"I know someone."   
Babington said, then stood up and disappeared, it was almost as if he had never been there.

At the same time, Eliza was sitting at the table in the dinning room, staring thoughtlessly into her cup of tea, which was already cold. Becroft had had left her already the evening before and had not promised or given her anything else to work with. After that she had given lvy a new assignment, in case Tom caused her problems. Reluctantly, she picked up her cell phone and checked to see if Tom had written or called. Annoyed, she threw it back on the table when she realized that he was probably angry with her. 

Such an idiot!

He should have called first, but no, the first time in all these years he had used his key. Why did he even have one? Even though he had paid for the apartment, she had bought all the furniture... okay, the table and chairs. Anyway, it was her apartment where she could do whatever she wanted, she had no problem with him having his wife... well, even though she always pretended to be very sad about this fact.

She groaned while she rubbed her temple, she had to get him back, for better or worse, at least until the premiere on Friday was over and her career finally took off. Then she did not need him anymore. She did not want to end up stuck in one of his dull costume movies. She had always successfully refused to do so in order not to draw attention to their relationship, after all she had still seen herself at his brother's side at that time. 

But no matter, the bastard would go down and drag his stupid brother down with him, ha!

She laughed briefly and took pleasure in how everything went according to plan. Had she forgotten anything? She took out her thick red notebook from her handbag and read through the old 'favours' that she had not yet asked for and was happy about the successes that others had brought her. Eliza had not yet played out her greatest triumphs. As she read all the points again, her mood was at its highest again. She picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number. But her mood was already crashing again, as he kept her waiting! 

No one kept Eliza Campion waiting! 

When he finally took off, she purred anyway,  
"Hello, darling," a little pause, to get him used to her tone "Are you very angry with me?"   
She knew how he loved that sort of apology, and she went on,   
"I know you'll have to punish me, for my bad behaviour."

And barely half an hour later he was standing in her apartment again. Although not only his gaze was hard, she knew it would not take that long and he would lie at her feet like a dog, begging for mercy. Like always.

What a wretched man he was.

The shooting day was exhausting because of the many different choreographies but Charlotte mastered all the tasks she was given better than she expected. She captivated everyone with her energy and charm and the dancing scenes were a lot of fun despite the high demands and difficult sequences, even though her feet were already aching after the first day.

Again it was Jasmine who gave her good tips on how best to take care of her feet and the rest of her body. And when she came back to her apartment in the evening, she was glad that Sidney was there and later gave her a loving full body massage in bed. He did this extensively, even though she noticed that he was troubled by worries he did not want to talk about. He seemed to find comfort in taking care of her and stroke her to sleep in such tender way, that tears burned in her eyes.

Tom did not like it at all when Mary had yelled at him or tried to ignore him for some stupidity he had done. But then he just unwrapped his 'confused professor charm', as she called it, and she was good with him again. 

With Eliza, it was not so easy. She managed to turn his anger into her own until he lay on the ground begging for mercy and kissed her feet for days, literally.   
Apparently she had received some bad news this morning, some story in a magazine had burst and she was boiling with rage. She had insulted the person on the phone and to his shame he had become quite aroused. He loved it when she was full of hate and almost violent. There was no stopping her in bed.

But this time, even that was not so easy. Only when he promised to give her the opportunity to walk alone over the red carpet as a big performance on Friday, she was gentle again. 

Well, if you can call that pinching, scratching and insulting gentle.

Sidney was glad that he was able to help Mary a little with the children again despite her objections, when she packed the moving boxes for Tom. She did not want him to come to Bedford Place and whine in front of the children. She wanted all his things to disappear as soon as possible. Of course he should have the opportunity to meet his children, but she had not really thought about how this would work. Mary only knew that she could not stand him anymore, so she was not sure if she would go to the premiere on Friday. Fortunately she had three days to decide.

"Whatever you want to do, I'm here for you." 

"Thank you, Sidney." She let him hug her for a moment and then said,   
"It's a really hard decision." 

She sat down on the sofa in the living room and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Sidney had made for her when the children had run out to play in the garden.

"I mean, it's your movie too, you wrote some of the most important scenes after all."   
Sidney said to consider.

She moaned and took a sip,   
"Yeah, but I don't want Gossip to overshadow the movie, but..." she stood up and looked out into the garden, "I'd like to ruin her evening."

"Don't worry about Eliza."   
"Why not?"

Sidney just grinned and assured her that he and Babington had planned something, but did not give her any details.

Eliza was almost sick! She was so annoyed that this ugly duckling looked at her from almost all the magazines.   
"A new star in Cinematic heaven!", "The new Kate Winslet." but the one that bugged her the most was the cover, the one with Sidney on it, where they had created a couple name for them “ ‘Sidlotte’ -- good god! The hottest thing in the cinemas!"

You could think they were made for each other. The jealousy about the young woman at his side, who was also untouched and unadulterated, was so great that Eliza bought all the copies she found in the newspaper shop and as soon as she was back on the street, she threw them into the nearest dumpster.

Because they shoot a dance scene on a roof in the light of the rising sun, Charlotte had an early start at the second shooting day, and she had tiptoed out of the apartment to not wake him. 

It had been a long day, and after she had come home and taken a relaxing bath, she was still leafing through the magazines she had bought on the way back. She remembered the shooting when she was heartbroken over him. She put it aside and took the magazine where they were both on the cover. It was the one with the green dress and it looked damn sexy, she had to admit.

When Sidney came home he saw the magazines on the kitchen table and shook his head over the emotions he had felt the first time he saw the pictures. He wanted to tell her, but when he came into the bedroom, she was already asleep. Then when he carefully climbed into bed behind her, she felt his presence and snuggled up against him.

"Missed you." she muttered, and her breath tickled his shoulder.   
"I missed you, too."

Gently he stroked her hair and tried to crawl her back to sleep so that she was rested for the next day. He knew how important the big dance scene was, which included this spectacular lifting figure she had been working towards all along. Sidney was looking forward to the few days off that followed Friday. 

"Will you come to Sanditon with me?" he whispered gently, if she had already fallen asleep again, he did not want to wake her.

"Yes," she replied simply, and he regretted not having asked the question more precisely.

"Saturday to Tuesday?" he asked again, knowing full well that Wednesday was her next shooting day. She had told him and it was on her schedule hanging on the fridge. Somehow Sidney hoped she understood him without having to specify the question.

Charlotte snuggled to him even closer and kissed him gently on his neck. God, how she loved him even more when he was seemingly insecure. She smiled at the thought that the movie star and action hero was incapable of asking for a little trip. 

But by his tense grip around her body she knew that there was more to it than that.

They remained lying like this in common silence, he painted small circles on her upper arm and stroked her face slightly in between, then he pressed his soft lips on her forehead and took a deep breath. Oh, he really was nervous!   
Her brain, already clouded from sleep, worked a little slower than usual, but still the deeper meaning of what he might mean came to her and she pushed herself on him and put her chin on his chest.

"To relax?" she saw in the grey-blue tone of the night how his stubble lied around his throat and seemed to emphasize his Adam's apple. With light fingers she stroked over it, moved a little closer and nibbled this displayed passage below. Then she laid her head over his heart and listened to the sound that confirmed her suspicions. 

"Or for ev…even longer?"

His embrace became tighter and he murmured into her hair,  
"Too soon?"  
"No!" she waited a little, and with the rest of the sentence, the tense atmosphere dissolved,   
"Thought you'd never ask."

Giggling, she then searched his lips and he kissed her back softly as he rolled her onto her back. Briefly he leaned away from her a bit to look for her gaze and his eyes said more than a thousand words. Touched, her hands slid into his hair and around his neck, this firm grip that made him go wild, he tried to ignore, cause she needed her sleep. But there was nothing wrong with one or two more kisses, when she opened her lips to him and let him come home.

Of course, Eliza knew how things were going. But when Lydia called the day before and told her that the fashion shooting and big interview had been cancelled for the next edition of the print version, she freaked out.   
Even though Lydia was the editor-in-chief of the magazine, her hands were probably tied when the publisher's boss vetoed it. She had not really given her a reason, rather blamed it on the page numbers and some advertisers and assured her to come back to the cooperation at a later date.  
Well, if she was still working for that stupid magazine, she should be paid well. Eliza grinned and wrote this point immediately in her notebook under Lydia's name.

At least her online interview would point to her blog, ha! After that the numbers would go through the roof again!  
One of her sponsors had already hastily threatened to end the cooperation, because the past few weeks had not been going so well.  
What could she do when everyone was boring as hell? And Ivy could not do his job properly! She had to replace him, no question.

In less than twenty minutes Charlotte would be picked up by the production driver, but she would have much rather stayed in the shower with Sidney. But since they simply could not keep their hands off each other, she reluctantly went out and now combed her hair listlessly while watching him in the mirror. What a beautiful body he had. How good he felt under her touch, the slight contraction of the muscles when she drove over places where he was especially sensitive. She sighed at the thought that they would not see each other until the next evening at the premiere. Only the thought that they would then go to Sanditon together for whole four days, without obligations and without being locked up in their apartment, kept her from throwing herself at him. Their apartment, this thought let a warmth run trough her body.

That something would happen in Sanditon was already more or less clear. She had a plan and hoped the weather would play along. She closed her eyes and thought about how she would seduce him at night on the beach, under the stars.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered into her ear as he suddenly stood behind her and wrapped his strong arms around her. Sidney snuggled up against her and it was the best feeling ever.

"About our little trip," she said truthfully, yet he saw her cheeks blushing slightly.  
"Ahh."

She knew that he had seen through her and let him kiss her neck, her shoulder, she turned her head so that she could kiss him and when he wanted to separate from her she grabbed his hair and pulled him back to her. The movement loosened the knot in her towel and he kept trying to help it fell to the ground. Tenderly, he embraced her breasts with his hands and stroked carefully over the soft pink tips with his thumb as they stretched out towards his touch.

While they kissed, his fingers wandered gently back and forth between the two sides, his other hand slid slowly deeper over her body and stretched his fingers over her belly. Her hips jerked and Charlotte laid her head heavily on his shoulder, her breath becoming faster as he reached her thigh and massaged it with gentle circles. As his fingers slowly moved towards their goal, her cell phone rang.

"Damn." they both moaned and Sidney let go of her as she tried to calm down.

They both knew that it was the driver, who just wanted to let her know that he was waiting for her in front of the apartment building. Sidney bent and took the towel, wrapped it around her beautiful body and kissed her lovingly on her perfect smooth shoulder. Before their eyes met briefly in the mirror and he left the bathroom with a light smile.

After a few minutes she came out of the bathroom and he handed her a coffee in a to go mug and placed a kiss on her cheek. She put the mug down on the table and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself to him, as if they separated for longer not only one and a half day.

“I want to be alone with you,” she murmured in his neck and he closed his eyes at the confirmation that she was desperate as well. He searched for her lips again and after a heart-shattering kiss he answered,

“So do I.”


	20. The premiere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the movie premiere and everybody has his own worries and everybody hopes that it will go the way they want it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is (unfortunately) far too much Eliza in this chapter, but I hope you are satisfied.
> 
> I was gonna post this yesterday, but with all the madness out there, just today...

Jonathan Smith presented his 'King of the Mornings' show with a lot of energy. What would he have given to see her stupid face if she had been sitting in front of the radio for hours and her interview had not been broadcasted? He giggled to himself again when his assistant told him that there was a call for him. In the meantime he had changed his number, but at first he got a little push of joy because he thought it was Eliza who was furious. He indicated to his co-host to take over for a moment and went to his assistant.

"It's an Andy who really needs to talk to you."  
"Thanks."

Jonathan picked up the phone and listened to what Babington had to tell him. His staff watched his delighted smile slowly disappear, his bushy eyebrows raised and his mouth formed an answer, but he remained silent for the time being.  
But then he called out in a loud voice 

"Of course, you can count on me!"

Totally exhausted from a restless sleep and confused dreams, Charlotte woke up and looked at the empty space next to her. How much she had got used to his presence and physically missed him, almost hurt. Well, not just almost, it was such a cold, yet burning feeling in her chest. Like running through the cold wind in winter and breathing in the freezing cold air. Instead of the deep breaths reducing the aching feeling, it just burned more and she was so out of breath that she had to bend over. 

Oh dear, Charlotte thought, that is love!  
Her body could still remember the heartache she was having because of him, but it was almost worse now. Well, not almost. It was worse. Her hand reached for the mobile phone on her bedside table and even if she did not want to seem desperate, she had to send him a message, nothing out of the ordinary, just a quick hello.

She saw that he had already sent three messages.

"Hi, Sweetie, I hope you're sleeping in, Henry just woke me up."  
It was 5:34.  
"Watching kids eat makes you forget you're hungry." he said half an hour later. Charlotte had to giggle after she knew how her brothers and sisters eat their cereal in the morning.

The third message made her heart flutter.  
"It's stupid, but I can't sleep without you."

Charlotte smiled and wrote back.  
"Me neither."

Fortunately Tom had left the apartment early, because his stupid face Eliza could not stand right now. She had also smashed a large part of the furniture in her rage, mainly dishes, but also the big mirror in the bedroom.  
Until this dull show was over around midday she had sat in front of the radio and waited for her interview, which was not played. Of course, she had not reached Jonathan, but her revenge would get nasty! But unfortunately this had to wait now, because she had to see her stylist. She was supposed to come here, but this was no longer possible.  
Annoyed, she scrolled over the magazine's website on her mobile phone and could not find the interview there either. But in contrast to the idiot Jonathan she reached Lydia.

"What is this?" she shouted into the phone and Lydia answered calmly,  
"Orders from above, just found out a few minutes ago."  
"We had a deal!" Eliza reminded her.  
"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do?" Lydia replied undaunted.  
"I got you your job, you should be thankful..." Eliza shoutet.  
"I am." Lydia interrupted her in a slightly annoying tone,  
"Eliza, listen, I know you helped me get the job back then." she admitted and Eliza, agreed, but was rudely interrupted again.

"But my boss let me keep it."

For a moment too long, Eliza was speechless and could not respond when Lydia said,  
"I must be going now... see you."

Completely stunned, she stared at the phone and grabbed it so tightly that her ankles turned white.

Mary had taken the advice of a friend and had kept her appointments with the hairdresser and beautician in the afternoon. Now she was ready for the evening. She still had no idea if she really wanted to go. But she noticed the appreciative looks of the passers-by when she went back to her car after her appointment. Oh, how wonderful it was to finally do something for her. She drove home where Sidney and Susan were already waiting for her.

"Susan, what are you doing here?" she asked astonished and hugged the nice colleague and gave Sidney a moved look and a silent 'Thank you'.

"Oh, I've got some great dresses for you… I still hope you'll walk the red carpet as the talented screenwriter you are."

Susann smiled and then pulled Mary up the stairs to have a fashion show with her. Alicia and Jennifer were already waiting upstairs as little assistants. Since the babysitter was already playing with Henry upstairs, Sidney used the opportunity to call Charlotte who picked up the phone after the first ring. She seemed excited and a bit nervous, but after a short while she was back to her old self and they talked normally. But then Charlotte's friend Clara, who had come all the way from Bath for this big day, ordered to hang up.

"I'm the guy in the suit." Sidney then teased her, he, like her, could not really separate.  
"And I'm the woman with the sexy dress," she returned with a laugh.  
"Which one?" he asked, and of course Charlotte heard the throaty sound in his voice.  
"Patience, Mr Parker, patience." 

He growled into the phone and Charlotte had to bite her lips to avoid answering him with a moan.

"Will we make it?" she asked and the modest question did not only mean the magnetic attraction to each other that they had to suppress today.

"Yes." His voice gave her the security she had briefly lost. Then he joked  
"Just be yourself and if it gets too bad just think of bread."

"Bread?"  
"Bread."

"Oh boy! Now just stop it!" he heard Clara's voice again and then they said goodbye.

A premiere did not actually make Tom nervous after all these years. Again, he knew he could be sure of good reviews. Just that his famous brother played the leading role was a guarantee for good press. 

But this time he was nervous and had real shaking cramps.

Because Mary had not answered whether she was coming or not, his stomach started to rebel. He feared that if the two women met, there would be a scandal. For unlike Mary, Eliza knew nothing of the latest developments. She still believed she was the secret lover, and he let her believe it because he did not want her to feel trapped.

"Are you all right?" 

Georgiana asked, who was calm and looking forward to the circus on the premiere. She had prepared herself perfectly for the Q&A after the movie and her energy, which was a mixture of joy and Zen-like calm, made everyone else calm down as well, except Tom.

The flashes had always been Eliza's favourite things and she knew from her days as an 'It Girl' and model that she did not need to do much to look fantastic in any picture. It was her natural gift to move and look into the camera so that she was always in the best-dressed lists. Just like today in her tight golden dress, the red stilettos and accessories. She would put everyone in the shade, she knew that, but of course she would prefer a direct comparison with the old saddle pad Mary or the stupid, fat country girl.

She was already looking forward to give her a line after all she had not forgiven her remark from the interview. Since the little girl apparently did not care about sex and was not ashamed of being a virgin, she had to say something about her figure. Especially such shy, insecure girls can be hit by it, and maybe even put on a diet.  
After all, that was what she had achieved with Mary all those years ago, when she was still a bit chubby after her first pregnancy. She had to smile at the thought and the photographers freaked out and called out her name.

However, her smile turned into a grimace when she noticed that the photographers kept waving at her to take pictures of said chubby Mary who to her displeasure did not look too bad.

Mary had not walked the red carpet for years. She did not like the behaviour and instructions of the photographers. Above all, however, she hated the discussion about her figure and her wrinkles in the next gossip magazine, as if it was not okay for a woman in her late forties to have a few wrinkles.

But today she did not care at all. She wore a long flowered dress with a matching light blue bolero jacket over it, which made her eyes really shine. She did not think she looked very good herself, but she felt relaxed and strong. That was exactly what the reporters told her when she answered a few questions. Mary was not nervous in any way maybe it was because she had finished with Tom and his affair. She was done with that part of her life, and she was happy about it.

Of course she had seen Eliza, of course she knew she looked gorgeous, but it did not bother her any more. She walked on and posed a little more until she came into the foyer of the cinema and was warmly welcomed and hugged by the crew. In the corner of her eye she saw Eliza talking to the distributor Becroft, who then left her mid-sentence to greet Mary as well.

The photographers wanted a photo of the brothers and forced Tom and Sidney to pose together. Tom hugged his brother who, with his trademark grumpy expression, looked into the camera and did not hug him back. Tom hoped the reporters did not notice the tense atmosphere between them, because he did not want that to be all they reported.

While Sidney was answering the typical questions of some reporters, he felt that Charlotte had arrived. Even if he had not felt her presence, he would have felt the change in the air. He could not help but looked over at her for a moment and as always he was completely enchanted. She looked stunning, with her long, straight voluminous hair and the simple yet sophisticated dress, with all those fancy zippers. Sidney could see that she was tense, of course, but the photographers rolled over with shouts and compliments.

It was not long before they demanded that the couple from the film pose together and he put on his 'I don't care' face as he strolled over to her. Charlotte glanced at him briefly and her smile lifted his heart and he pulled her to him. It was only when she made a slightly squeaky sound that he noticed his thumb was on the side of her bosom and then, without losing his professional face, let his hand go lower and around her waist. Charlotte then leaned away from him slightly and whispered

"Bread."

He could not help but laugh and since this was a rare picture, the cameras flashed and clicked all the more. 

But only a moment later he had regained his composure and went on with Charlotte at his side. No sooner had they turned their backs on the photographers to go to the cinema than they let go of each other and Sidney could already see the headlines in front of him that would suggest that they did not like each other at all.

Inside, in addition to the crew and a few friends, a few of the important film distributors, invited guests from the press and critics were waiting. Everyone tugged at them, engaged them in conversation and pressed a drink into their hands. 

Suddenly Charlotte found herself in front of Eliza who was looking at her with a cold look from top to toe as if she wanted to peel off her skin and would enjoy the pain of her victim, which she surely did. Charlotte nodded briefly and tried to get past her as Eliza grabbed her arm and her manicured fingernails bored into her skin.

"Well, you couldn't hold him in spite of your innocence and this, hmm?" 

Eliza pointed at Charlotte's chest and waited a moment, but since Charlotte did not answer and was about to leave, she said quickly, 

"What a pity, for he is an animal in bed."

Charlotte got nauseous this person was unbelievable.

"Let me go."  
"Why, are you running away to cry?"  
"What do you want from me?"  
"Telling you that your fat tits won't always get you the roles."  
Her voice was a frigid whisper and it sent Charlotte an icy chill down her spine.

"At least I have some." Charlotte returned and took off.

Eliza was amazed at the quick-witted little brat and could not say exactly whether Charlotte meant film roles or tits, but she was pleased that she had given this insecure country bumpkin something to think about. She could already see her shoulders sinking and how she sought protection from her colleagues.

"What did you say to her Campion?" asked one of these cheeky young reporters who did not even have the decency to address her as a 'Miss'.  
"Oh, just some advice from someone with experience," she said with a throwaway gesture and a sweet voice.  
"What experiences? " he laughed "It can't have been much, as short as it was." the young man murmured and strolled away.

Eliza gasped in shock, but before she could walk after him and reply, Becroft came up to her and told her in curt tones that they were about to enter the cinema. But instead of sitting next to him, as she had hoped, she sat next to some of the cinema staff in the front left-hand row.

Sidney watched the brief encounter between Charlotte and Eliza with suspicion and was already rushing to help Charlotte. But then he saw that Charlotte had freed herself from the witch's claws with a smile on her face and that said witch looked after her very angry. Pride spread through him and he was glad when he realised, that they sat in the back row of the cinema and had a great view of the screen, although that was not the best part of it, of course. He was very happy that nobody was sitting behind them to watch them. 

Since they would later go on stage for the Q&A after Tom and Georgiana, he sat in third place next to the corridor. He was happy that Georgiana was sitting as a buffer between him and Tom and had an animated conversation with her when Charlotte entered the room with her friend Clara holding her hand and was shown to their seats.

Georgiana and he got up to greet Clara and let them in line, with Charlotte's hip touching his hand as she passed far too close to him. The warm scent of her hair tickled his nose. 

"Oh, Charlotte," Clara said somewhat too loudly, and Sidney listened more to her than to Georgiana, when she said,  
"By the way, I'm sleeping at a friend's house."

"A friend?" asked Charlotte, leaning a little closer to Sidney, who was still turned toward Georgiana.

"Yeah, well, since you have to get up early tomorrow morning, I thought it would be fine." You could practically hear the smirk.

"Of course, that's fine with me." Charlotte gave back just before she sat down.

She leaned her leg against Sidney’s in the protection of the dark cinema and pushed his arm off the armrest. After the film had started and everyone was staring forward at the screen, Sidney let his hand wander over his thigh and touched hers slightly. Carefully he began to draw small patterns in her naked warm skin with his fingers. He felt her goose bumps as he stroked a little higher and as she trembled to catch her breath he looked at her briefly. Her eyes looked huge in the misty light and her lips were slightly open. To avoid drawing attention to them he dropped his gaze and hand and adjusted himself in his chair a little bit away from her.

It was always a bit strange for Charlotte to see herself on the screen or huge on the cinema screen. Charlotte did not think about what she had done well or badly, but tried to concentrate on the story and the other characters. When the scene in the hut came, when he had to open her dress, a soft murmur went through the room. For although nothing happened, except that he looked grumpily at the exposed skin between her shoulders and her heavy breathing, as she closed her eyes, when he touched her slightly. 

It was such a dramatic scene that you could literally feel the tension.

Sidney flinched slightly as Charlotte leaned against him and whispered softly in his ear,  
"Here comes the best part."

The scene bathed the room in a gold like brown tone and the heat crawled into her cheeks.  
He smiled when his character on the screen approached her character with strong steps, and when there was the longed-for kiss of the film characters Sidney touched her hand. He interlocked their fingers and it was as if they were back in the film studio and felt the unbelievable feeling of their lips on each other for the first time.

His face twitched in her direction as she let her lips brushing his ear and her heart pounded wildly when she finally revealed in a barely audible voice to him.

"It was my first."

Touched of her statement, he gripped her hand even tighter and would have loved to kiss her right now, but that had to wait.

At the end of the film there was applause and after the staff and crewmembers already went to the location where the after show party took place, the Q&A of the press started.  
Tom and Georgiana were called onto the stage. There were some questions to them before Charlotte and Sidney also had to go down the stairs. As she also wore high heels, it was gallant and gentlemanly when he helped her, even though the two of them would have loved to interlink their fingers again.

The questions they were then asked had been sent to them in advance, so they could answer confidently and well prepared. 

Eliza noticed to her displeasure that the young, arrogant reporter from before only asked simple questions and did not asked anything really interesting.  
She was happier when Becroft came on stage, and after he had answered a few questions, he pointed out that they would now see their first interview shown on her blog. Eliza stared at the stage with a beating heart as Becroft said the sentence she had commissioned. 

"As I have it on good authority, there have been some revelations."

She stood up and accepted the light applause with her head held high, knowing that there would be more in the end. Although she was a little disappointed that Becroft did not ask her to come on stage, but gave her the understanding to sit down again, the slightly hounded face of the country bumpkin gave her a burst of joy.

Even though he knew how Babington had edited the interview, Sidney's heart was beating excitedly in his chest. He tried to put on his poker face and suppress the urge to reach for Charlotte's hand. He risked a glance at her and she seemed to be calm on the outside at least. Their glances met briefly and she smiled encouragingly at him, knowing at that moment that she trusted him completely. That feeling gave him confidence that everything was going according to plan.

When the intro music came, Eliza smiled self-satisfied, but it froze on her face when her greeting was repeated several times. At first the audience were polite, but after their third attempt to pronounce Charlotte's not so difficult name, there were already some laughs.  
Oh, Andi would pay for not editing the beginning, and he had not used the filter either! This little virgin looked ten years younger than her!

The interview went on as it had started then and Charlotte's heart started to hammer uncontrollably when Eliza's sweet voice was heard,

"One of the most important things you have in common is the lack of experience."

And than Sidney groaned,  
"Oh again?"

Charlotte locked her gaze with his, and now it was he who smiled encouragingly at her.

Eliza’s heart beating excitedly up to her neck as the explosion of the bomb came closer and closer, but then it ran cold over her back when the bang did not come. Instead, she seemed stupid. Andi must have tampered with the film. She stared at her cards like a stupid brat looking for words, and then all the questions she had already asked came up again. The people next to her started whispering and looked at her from the side as if she was the one with a problem and not the girl on stage.

Charlotte did not notice at first, but then she heard the same questions that Eliza had asked before. The interview had been cut together as if Eliza was quite stupid, and as if she could not remember the questions she had just asked. The audience laughed again.

Then they got quiet again when Tom came in and took Charlotte with him. At that terrible moment everything was blurred and Charlotte did not remember saying a nice goodbye to the camera, but she had. 

But to Eliza’s horror, when the milk face was finally gone, the film was not over! Instead of switching off, Andi had recorded everything she had told Sidney. On screen he got up and said with gritted teeth.

"What was that about?"

Then the film showed Eliza with a devil smile on her not longer pretty face.

"Well, that's the question I wanted to hear."

"Just say it." He said.  
"You."

Shocked voices were raised.

"What do you mean?"  
"You know what I mean. I wanted you then and I want you now."  
"But I never want you."  
"I don't care, you're going to give me the success I deserve."

Someone from the audience cried “What?”

"I won't."

Now there was applause.

"You will do what I want."  
"I will not be blackmailed."  
"Oh yes, you will, or I'm going to destroy that little girl."

A murmur went through the cinema and all eyes turned in Eliza's direction, Charlotte was shocked, although she knew the whole story from Sidney.

"What do you mean?" Sidney asked worried.  
"Anorexia, a drug problem…"  
"What?" his voice went loud and Charlotte got all warm as she realised how much he wanted to protect her.

"Well, like that stupid model you shot that commercial."  
"You're saying that was fake?"  
"Of course, like your co-star's drinking addiction, how else do you think I got her part?"  
"You're sick!" he shouted, but she shook her head and smiled.  
"I am efficient."  
"Efficient? To drag people through the mud!"  
She just shrugged like it was no big deal.

"You're disgusting."  
"Oh, about the paparazzi at the cemetery?" She laughed for a moment "Don't hold a grudge."

A general restlessness was spreading and some people were already beginning to get up and walk in Eliza's direction. People from the press wrote their fingers to the bone and used their cell phones to make videos of the play on the screen.

The cinema was dead silent, like at a funeral.

"You're fucking crazy!" Sidney's voice echoed across the room.  
"You're not going to get what you want from me!"

"I have brought other people to their knees." she said smugly.  
"And I always get what I want. "

"I don't think so."

"I will walk over dead bodies to get what I deserve. No one can stop me."  
Her voice took on a threatening tone,  
"Not an Edward Denham, not a Sidney Parker."

"What do you mean?"  
"He also refused..." she left the sentence hanging in the air.

Eliza was in shock she had not even noticed that she had got up. She was freezing cold as she heard her voice from the screen in front of her.

"You do what I want."  
"Or else?"  
"Your stupid brother and his fucking family will suffer."

"I won't let that happen."

His face took on the expression that all his fans loved about him. The expression of the hero who was in a bad mood, but already had an idea about a way out in his head. Without another word he left the room.

"That's what I was thinking. "  
Eliza laughed and shortly after that, the credits came.

She saw the disgusted faces of those present, she heard shouts, and a thunderstorm of lightning and questions came rushing at her. The crowd came towards her like a wave of aggressive birds and everyone was shouting questions at her.

"Why?"  
"Are you crazy?"  
"You are despicable!"  
"Because he didn't want you?"

Sidney grabbed Charlotte's arm, when the commotion broke out, and pulled her towards the nearest exit. There they met Georgiana, who shook her head and kept asking,

"What was that?"

Tom stood behind her, no less shocked and stuttering all the time.  
"What a negative press!"

"You've your girlfriend to thank for that." Sidney mumbled to him as he stared at him with an evil stare, then told the two women to follow him. 

"Come on."

He didn't care that Georgiana might see it, but he just could not go on without Charlotte's hand in his. They went out the back way where the car was waiting to take them to the party location.

Eliza’s eyes fell on the stage from which everyone had disappeared. There was no one there to help her. Everything was spinning in her head. She could feel the wall coming closer, she was surrounded by people who hold their phones in front of her and wanted answers, answers to questions she never wanted to be asked. 

So cold, cold sweat was running down her forehead and down her armpits.  
Eliza cried out when a strong hand grabbed her arm, she looked up and saw Becroft blackening down on her with such a hateful look that she almost cried, he had never looked at her like that ever before.

"That's it. Show's over!" he yelled, taking her with him. 

Eliza could not feel her legs and she twisted her ankle a few times. But he would not let her walk any slower. Suddenly she felt the cold night air on her hot cheeks and before she knew it, she was already sitting in his car.

"Take this bitch home." she heard Becrofts booming voice as he slammed the door violently.

No sooner had they arrived at the party in a cosy restaurant, the rest of the group noticed two things. Firstly the three looked completely exhausted and Tom was not with them.

Mary stood up and came towards them and asked in a worried voice, 

"What's wrong?"

Georgiana, earlier the calmness itself, burst out with the truth and reported in a torrent of words what had happened at the Q&A. All present listened to her and looked at their mobile phones at the same time and forgot about the two main actors. Sidney used the opportunity and pulled Charlotte into the corridor, near the kitchen of the restaurant and pushed her into an alcove. His hand came to rest on her neck and his thumb stroked her cheek lovingly.

"Are you all right?"  
"I am and y…?" 

As she tried to ask him the same, he pulled her to him and kissed her with almost aggressive passion. But instead of scaring her off, she pressed herself even closer to him. Thus that it did not go too far, he ended the kiss and placed his forehead on hers to calm down. 

"We should go back."  
She said in a breathless voice, but her body showed him that she wanted to be exactly where they were.

"Yes," he whispered, and then she broke away from him and told him to leave.

With trembling fingers Eliza tried to reach Andi, but his number was no longer available. She called Ivy and begged him to take her blog off the net immediately, but he said he was in his car. She yelled at him in the worst possible way and then he submissively said that he would try immediately.

Of course he had done it already, after all, his client had asked him to do it.

Even before Becroft’s driver dropped off Eliza at home, she received e-mails from all her sponsors. They all revoked her cooperation and prohibited any attempt of contact from her. Some even threatened legal action because they saw their brands damaged.

When Charlotte came back to the main area after she had refreshed in the bathroom, some colleagues already came to meet her to show her the news on the web.

Some of the headlines read:

"Eliza Campion a monster out of a thriller!"  
"She has lied, cheated, manipulated!"  
"Stars have been ruined!"  
"All sponsors have cancelled their cooperation."

And a few others were more interested in the movie or the leads:

"The beautiful movie, overshadowed by an envious, malicious person."  
"A star is born, Charlotte Heywood an angelic creature outshines the ugly game of fallen Eliza C.!"  
"Sidney Parker will not be blackmailed!"  
"The chemistry between Sidlotte is palpable."  
"I won't let that happen!" Sidney was quoted and then there were comparisons from the real person to his character in the film, who also did everything to help his family.

There were also a few quotes from the film that fit the situation and a comparison with real life.

" 'Enemy Love' a story about two people who find each other against all odds"  
And then the reporter continues "but it's also a film that will succeed against the malice of a single person!"  
"Let us not forget that the film is an unexpected jewel, even if it was almost destroyed by a thief."

When Eliza was back in her apartment, she tried to calm down and think about it. Andi was a bitch who had set her up. Unfortunately, she had nothing on him except his phone number, which was disconnected. She did not even know his address because she had always paid him in cash.

She scrolled through her phone list and grabbed her notebook to see whom she could ask for help. Who else owed her a favor?

Since there was no party mood, everyone just sat together and gave each other the latest information from the web. Nevertheless some of them started to dance a little after dinner, but Mary wanted to go home. She asked who else wanted to come along, but most of them refused. Even though the party was not the best, the mood was still good. Shortly after Mary and a few close associates had left her, she wrote a text message to Sidney that there were no reporters around and that he could sleep at his girlfriend's house. 

Sidney put the phone away again and looked at Charlotte who was in the middle of a conversation with Susan. 

"So?" a voice came to his ear and he saw a smiling Clara beside him.  
"So what?" he asked back, smiling.  
"I've got a few questions burning under my nails," she replied, pointing her chin in Charlotte's direction. He told her to keep talking.  
"Why were you such a... erm, sorry, but... ass?" worried that he would find such a question impertinent and leave her standing, she looked at him and he laughed briefly.

"I was mad at Tom, and then suddenly she was there and although there was something about her… I don’t know…but I thought she is like everybody else."  
"But she's not."  
"No." 

He smiled and Clara shook her head slightly when she saw the slightly lovesick look she had also noticed in her friend's face.

"She irritated and intrigued me."  
"Yeah, she's good at that." 

They both laughed briefly. Clara then listed Charlotte's attributes,  
"And… she's shy and nice and …hot."  
"And loving, Smart and funny. And emphatic, and so beautiful..."  
"Whew, stop it." Clara waved it off and shook herself like she was disgusted.  
"Just say you have a crush on her because she's naive and sexy. And I will leave you alone." 

She giggled but Sidney looked at her in a serious way and Clara stopped her teasing immediately.

"I love her."  
"Yes, yes I know."

They stared in Charlotte's direction and remained silent for a moment until Clara explained in a serious tone.

"If you hurt her, I'll kill you."  
"All right."  
"I’m serious." She whispered.  
"Me too." he looked at her then. "She is the best what ever happened to me."

Although Clara smiled, she said calmly, "Don't screw up."  
"I'll try not to."  
"I didn't just mean that, I meant also that." she stressed the rest of the sentence and Sidney understood what she meant.  
"Do you want to apply pressure?" he tried to joke.  
"No, but she does have a certain romantic version of... that.... in her head, and yes... basically you can only screw it up." 

And then left him standing, with a big grin on her face and ran over to Charlotte. Sidney stared after her and chuckled.

When the doorbell rang, early the next morning, Eliza did not want to open at first, but was then convinced that it was Tom. As stupid as he was, but she was still glad that he had come to stand by her.

Shortly she thought that he did not want to use his key because of the disaster last week and opened the door.

But that was not Tom. A tall, thin man stood at the door. Probably a reporter, she immediately tried to close the door again when the man asked in a serious tone.

"Eliza Campion?" 

His voice was too serious for a stupid reporter besides, there was finally a porter downstairs in the foyer who would not let anyone in.

"Yes?"

"My name is Cahill," he paused and pointed to a woman next to him, "my colleague Seekers" he smiled smugly, "Criminal Investigation Department, we have some questions."


	21. Sanditon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an exhausting time, finally Charlotte & Sidney are in Sanditon and have some time to relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you very much for coming so far with me and this little story. For reading, commenting and leaving kudos.
> 
> And unfortunately I have to tell you ... we are nearing the end.

Charlotte and Sidney left the party for home in the late night or very early morning, and Sidney suggested going to Sanditon a bit earlier. They agreed, that he would pick her up in an hour, so both can pack a back. Even though Charlotte had already packed the bag, she was glad to have the opportunity to repack everything once again. She finally had a plan and did not want anything to go wrong.

She was glad that Sidney went to Bedford Place to get some things, because it would have been too embarrassing if he had seen what she was taking. Although it was only four days, she took enough things with her to be prepared for all …eventualities. After all, she did not know whether the weather would last. 

But of course she knew that he would not say anything about it, she wondered what he would say about the contents of her cosmetic bag. Nervously she went over her plan in her mind, how she could bring the topic to the table. They had been close a few times before and she also had the pack of condoms in her bedside table that Clara had given her, but she had not told him about her decision. She only hoped it would be like she had imagined and how everything had felt so far. Perfect.

Sidney tried to sneak out of the house again unseen when he had fetched his things when he met Mary in the kitchen.

"Are you all right?" he asked and felt guilty leaving Mary alone.  
"Yes Sidney, I'm a big girl."  
"What are you doing up so early?" he asked. It was not even four o'clock in the morning.  
"I couldn't sleep, and well..." she shrugged.  
"Are you going back to Sanditon this weekend?" He thought about how she would react to Charlotte, because they got along quite well.

"No, Tom's coming over today."  
"What? I'd better..."  
"No!" interrupted in Mary, "The children needs to see him and we have a few things to discuss, Diana's coming to stand by me a little bit."  
"Oh, I did not know that."  
"Sidney!" Mary came closer and put a hand on his arm, "You don't have to take care of everything."  
"But I..."  
"It's all right now." Mary and shook her head, which Tom did not have, Sidney had too much.  
Sense of responsibility.

"I want you to show your girl Sanditon," she smiled.  
How Mary could be so strong was a mystery to him, he admired her even more.

"All right." Sidney nodded and went to the door.  
"And say hello to Charlotte." Mary called out after him.

Surprised, he looked at her and tried to find the right words. 

"I'm old, but I'm not blind." She laughed.  
"You were staring at her the whole time yesterday..."

"Mary, I..."  
"Don't worry, I don't think anybody else noticed."  
"Sorry I didn't tell you."  
"Sidney," Mary came to him and reassured him, "it's your life. You can do what you want, and I know you did it for her protection."

Sidney let his breath out in amusement, listening to what Mary has further to say.

"Tom would have used it as a promotion."  
"Yes, that was one of the reasons." he nodded.  
"And because of this evil woman."  
"Yes, that was another."

Then he told her all that had happened without giving any details that were too private.

Tom was in pain. Everywhere. His head ached so much from all the whiskey he had drunk after that disastrous evening. His back and his legs hurt of his twisted sleeping posture. What a mess. How could people treat Eliza like that? 

Yes, he had heard what she had said to Sidney. But something was wrong. She must have been the victim of some kind of intrigue. Even though she said the things she said.  
But that could not be true, could it?

He pushed the thin blanket away from him and slowly got up from the floor where he had spent the night. It was all a catastrophe. His head was throbbing as he bent down to pick up his trousers from the floor and put them on. He looked at his watch. It was after eight, and he had an appointment with Mary and the kids in less than one hour. He shuffled to the bathroom, which was in the small hallway opposite his office, and tried to freshen up as best he could.

Fortunately, Mary had encouraged him years ago to store his toothbrush and washing things here just in case. Mary. She always thought of everything and always had his back. He had to make a good impression maybe she would forgive him. Not today or tomorrow, but maybe in the near future. 

Yes, he had to do everything he could to win her back. 

If he was honest he had never stopped loving her. Besides, they worked together and it would also be possible in Bedford Place to avoid each other. Well, it would be nice for the kids, too. Somehow.

After he had shaved and was, in his opinion, presentable again, he considered buying flowers and chocolates. He left the office complex beaming with joy and in his mind plays the movie of his reunion with Mary when he noticed the reporters who had been waiting for him outside the building. Tom tried to escape them at first, not knowing anything of what might have happened that night, but of course they flocked around him within moments, like lard flies.

Crap. He would be too late.

Charlotte stood on the terrace of Sidney's apartment and enjoyed the view over the Sanditon cove. It was so peaceful and beautiful. The long beach that stretched in a white arc under the green dunes and was framed on both sides by sharp-edged cliffs was deserted. The water shimmered in a greenish blue and the high waves that broke violently on the beach roar so loud that she could hear it up here. The wind was fresh and ruffled her hair and she pulled her coarse knitted jacket tighter around her shoulders. The salty wind was screeching with the seagulls and the sun was briefly gliding through the thick, soft clouds.

Deeply she took the next breath and closed her eyes. The image had burned into her retina and she wished she could enjoy this sight every day. But then something very different reached her senses and warmed her before he wrapped his arms around her and the deep sensual smell of hot chocolate took over all her thinking. Well it was more the combination of the dark chocolate, Sidney's scent and his strong arms around her middle. When he gave her the cup and their fingers touched lightly, she opened her eyes again and smiled by the sight of him. His intensive gaze bored into her eyes and a light shiver ran through her body and warmed her inside. They froze and their eyes merged into the black, bittersweet promise whose taste was already on their tongues.

His lips were so soft as he tenderly placed them on hers, an idea of a touch. They floated in front of each other and his warmth pulled her to him and she opened her lips slightly and blindly sought his. It tickled and they inhaled each other until Charlotte captured his lower lip and sipped it tenderly. A suppressed moaning deep from his throat made her lean even harder on him and he strengthened his hold on her. 

Gently his tongue caressed her lips and his mouth pressed them apart, so his soft warmth could glide into her mouth. Carefully he stroked her inner lips and her breath got faster as he deepened the kiss. Her fingertips touched his stubble on his chin, before she buried her fingers in his hair and pulled him even closer. Sidney took the mug out of her hand and put it on the table next to him, where the evidence of their extensive breakfast still stood and turned her more to him without breaking the kiss.

She pressed herself against him and wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his tighter around her as he deepened the kiss even more. What he could trigger in her with a single kiss was indescribable. Her body was tingling and her heart was pounding in her chest. It was so warm and as he let his hand move lightly across her back, she trembled. His other hand touched her face lightly, like she was a precious and delicate treasure. Sidney slowly broke away from her and their breath was heavily. He rested his forehead against hers, their lips still almost touching. No words were needed. And as he buried his face into her neck, he lifted her up a bit and she laughed happily as his stubble tickled her skin.

Mary had no sympathy at all for Tom as he sat slumped together at the kitchen counter. It had hit him hard that Alicia, Jenny and Henry would rather play in their rooms than greet him. They were angry because he was almost an hour late. They had made pancakes, but when he did not show up, they had breakfast without him. And the pancakes they had left him were cold and tasted like cardboard.

"What can I do to convince them?" he moaned and Mary could only look at him silently.

"How about keeping your promises?" asked Diana, who had even arrived before him, though she had been stuck in traffic. Her eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline, so high she had pulled them up.

"I mean..." desperately he looked at his sister, but he could not expect any encouragement from her. She had suffered a lot from her own divorce and basically had no sympathy for cheaters and liars. She hated any kind of deceit and dishonesty.

"What were you thinking?" she asked but before he could answer she held up her hand defensively "Oh forget it, you didn’t."

"But..."  
"No!"

Before Diana could get any angrier, Mary grabbed her arm and silenced her, not wanting the children to hear the argument, but having a very clear idea of what was going to happen.

"You will discuss your dates with the children directly with them."  
He looked at her questioningly.

"I don't want to deal with their anger because they've been stood up a by you…Again."  
"But the reporters..."  
"You should’ve planned for this, you should’ve known this would happen."

Mary was probably right, like she was right about everything. He knew that.

"I've already had a talk, but now you go up there and face them."  
"But..." Tom seems scared.  
"Tom!" cried Diana again whom all the nagging of her brother and Mary’s good heart annoyed. "Just do it!"

"Yes, yes..." he stood up and ran his hair nervously, hoping Mary would stand up to him in what was probably the most difficult conversation he had ever had. His whole body seemed heavy. 

At first he was still hoping of forgiveness, but when Mary said the same thing even after a long conversation, he knew he had lost everything. 

"I will divorce you.” She had said without any expression on her face.

"But Mary!" 

He had called out and taken her hand, she had pulled it back and looked at him with a disgusted look on her face that made him cold inside. Mary had never looked at him like this. So much anger and pain. And disgust.

"I will never forgive you for what you did to me and our children."

And how she said it! Tom broke inside when he saw the hurt in her eyes. Mary’s beautiful sky blue eyes dry from too much crying, filled with…nothing what reminded him of her.  
No joy, or admiration or love.

What had he done?

"I'll never forgive myself," he cried.

"Gee, Tom!" Diana hissed angrily. "It's not about you!"

"I know." 

He nodded and tears ran down his cheeks as he climbed up the stairs to explain his children why he was moving out.

Diana shook off her own feelings, turned around and took Mary in her arms.

"You're so strong."  
"Thank you." Mary muttered as she found peace in her sister-in-law's arms.

An obtrusive ringing at the door tore Sidney and Charlotte out of their little cotton-soft bubble of infatuation and they moaned annoyed. Although they knew, of course, that it was Arthur they both loved so much, even before he used his key.

"Well, you two!" cried Arthur and eyed them both as if he had caught them doing something naughty. Although this was not the case, Charlotte blushed slightly and drank embarrassed at her hot chocolate, which was unfortunately only lukewarm.

"Do you have your phones there?" he then asked and Sidney nodded.  
"Then turn it off or give it to me."  
"Why should we?" Sidney asked amusedly and his brother just reached out his hand until Sidney gave him the phone.

"Today is the first day."  
"Of what?" Charlotte asked curiously and Arthur took her in his arms,  
"Relax, sweetheart. Relax!"  
Curious, they looked at Arthur and he said.

"I've arranged for you to have a few treatments at the hotel."  
"Oh, but..." Sidney began.  
"Massage and for you my love," he looked at Charlotte more closely, "including a facial, although you really don't need it."  
"Thank you, Arthur."  
"And I'll pick you up at about six."  
"Why?" asked Sidney, who also had a few things planned.  
"Little concert on the beach."  
"Oh that sounds wonderful!" cried Charlotte and beamed at them.  
"See, this is how you do it!" Arthur teased his brother and kissed Charlotte on the cheek.  
"Here is my key… I don’t want to interrupt something...again."  
He smiled and held it up and placed it by Charlotte's phone.

"Ah, please turn it off," he waited until they both turned off their phones, then he took them and said as he was leaving the apartment.  
"You'll get these back on Monday."  
Charlotte and Sidney laughed.  
"I'll see you later."

"So, what do we do now?" asked Charlotte, whose heart started pounding in her chest, she wanted to continue where they had been interrupted, but of course she was a bit nervous and wanted to let him take the lead. He grinned and took her hand. Then he pulled her with him and said. 

"Let me show you something."

Charlotte's heart made a loop in anticipation and her breath became restless. When Sidney noticed it, he did not comment and led her into a small room next to the living room, which was the only room, with the large kitchenette and the small bathroom she had seen so far.

He opened the door and told her to go inside. It was an office. A beautiful office, which reminded her of a study of famous writers, at least the way she always imagined it. It smelled of old books, leather, wood and tobacco. A dark writing table stood diagonally in front of the window, pointing to the small town, and all four walls were lined with bookshelves.

She stroked the wooden table and enjoyed the cool smoothness of the surface under her fingers.

"This is my grandfather's table."  
"It's beautiful."  
Sidney proudly displayed a series of books that all looked like they were from another century.  
"Yes, I love old things."  
"Me too."  
"I know." Then he kissed her lightly on the nose. She tilted her head and laughed out loud it was such a beautiful sound.

"Look here." he said then and showed her the box that looked like the big brother of the box she had given him.  
"That's really..." she was silent for a moment and asked him than if he had the smaller one with him.  
"I still have it in London, as I have an appointment for the podcast next week, but..." he drove through his hair to buy time.  
"But?" she asked and waited for him to speak.  
"I'd like to bring it here."  
"Sure."

Oh man, how could he say it now? It is best if he says it straight out.

"And… work from here."  
"Of course." She turned to one of the shelves and read the titles of the books that were there.  
"Well, I mean erm...well..."  
"What?" she laughed slightly, he was so damn cute when he was so nervous and she slowly walked towards him.  
"Well..." he hugged her and pulled her gently as he leaned against the table.  
"Before we..." he looked her straight in the eyes, "got together, I thought I'd only be in London once in a while."

Charlotte looked at him and tried not to show any emotion so not to show him that she already had an opinion about this topic.  
"What I'm trying to say... is... what I was trying to ask you Thursday night is... I'd like to live here."  
She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at him again.

"With you." He was sucking in the air and it seemed to her like he really did not suspect.  
"What was the question?" she asked, unable to suppress her grin.  
He laughed and lifted her chin. 

"What do you say?"  
"Yes." the word was so small yet had such great meaning.

His smile was the most beautiful he had ever given her and she gave him a little kiss on the mouth.

"So if I have to squeeze all my books into this tiny room, will you at least show me my large walk-in closet," she joked and he nodded and pulled her out the room across the small hallway to the hidden stairs leading to the attic.

"There's room for your shoes," pointing to the built-in wardrobe below.

Then they went up the stairs and first he showed her a small room, which looked like a huge storage room, but was probably intended to become a private gym, with a very large window.

"That will do!" she teased.

Sidney then seemed a little embarrassed as he pulled her into the bedroom and let go of her hand. The spacious bed was framed in a niche under a skylight. It looked terribly comfortable, with thick soft pillows and Charlotte's thoughts going in the direction of what else could be done in it besides sleeping and she felt her cheeks glowing.  
Sidney cleared his throat briefly and showed her the adjoining bathroom. It was a dream and looked like something out of a hotel or a magazine. 

"I'll get the bags," he muttered as he sensed her wanting a moment alone. He knew her so well already and she loved it. And him. And the apartment and Sanditon. And a life with him. 

"Mary, how you can take it all so calmly is a mystery to me," Diana said, pouring her sister-in-law and herself the second glass of wine, even though it was only five o'clock in the afternoon. But Tom had gone out with the children to eat an ice cream, and baby James was looked after by the nanny Diana had called despite Mary's protests.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the collapse is still coming, but I just think finally he is out of his house." she giggled and took a sip of her wine.

"It's yours since all this years. Learn to say it." Diana encouraged her.  
Mary took a deep breath and said out lout.  
"Finally he's out of my house."

They laughed and Diana shook her head about Mary, who seemed really pleased about that fact.

Sidney waited for Charlotte on the terrace, sitting and looking forward to the evening on the beach. He had already picked out the blanket to keep them warm, because it was going to be windy later. He just hoped the weather would hold and that it would not rain. Though of course he could think of enough things to do inside. He grinned at the one thought that had been buzzing around in his head all day. 

It had been a great idea of Arthur to organize the massages. The tension of the last weeks had eased a bit and when they came back from the treatments they had fallen asleep on the couch. They had often fallen asleep as a lump or woke up again, but this time it was different. Somehow there was no urgency that drove them, just silence.

Charlotte had a plan. Well, had. Now she was not so sure if she could go through with it or not. She looked in the mirror and thought she looked pretty good. A little too well behaved to be the two-legged seduction, but Clara had told her to wear something she felt comfortable in and not to dress up. One last time she took a deep breath, nodded her head and went down the stairs.

Sidney watched her as she joined him on the terrace although it was quite fresh she was wearing a dress. It was white and wide and blew in the wind like a white cloud. She reminded him of the day when they were shooting, when she glistened and beamed in the sun, before they fell into the water a little later. 

"The jacket might be a little thin," he said as he let his gaze wander over her and she could hear a certain tone in his voice.  
"Yeah, sure." She took off her denim jacket and turned her back to him.

He audibly sucked in the air when he saw the back cleavage and Charlotte grinned at him over her shoulder.

Later she pressed exactly this non-existent back cleavage to his chest when she sat in front of him, between his legs. They listened to the singer, who sat in front of the campfire with her guitar and conjured goose bumps on their bodies with her powerful voice. Of course it was not only the voice of the artist. It was also Sidney's hot breath tickling her neck and his warm fingers painting slowly small and large circles on her belly. 

Through the thin fabric of her dress he could feel her warmth and he just wanted to feel her skin underneath. She had already pulled the soft blanket up to her neck, as if waiting for him to finally let his hand go under the fabric of her dress. And although his fingers were longing for it, he held back. The tension in his shoulders had increased again.

Although it was a small private concert, the few guests had recognized him of course and when they had read the headlines, they knew whom the girl in his arms was. Although phones were forbidden and Arthur had assured him that nobody had one with them, he still wanted to prevent people from watching them. So he pulled his hands out from under the blanket and hugged Charlotte above it.

She made a disappointed sound and he chuckled in her neck. He ran his nose along her neck and kissed her lightly on her ear. It was so light he could have been the wind and Charlotte knew she wanted to be alone with him. She leaned forward slightly. Of course he could not resist giving her a tender kiss on the exposed skin of her back. She was all hot and it was only when he ran his index finger under the cloth over her shoulder blades, holding the dress together, that he realized she was wearing a bra after all. He moaned as if he had a mountain of work ahead of him. 

"Shall we go?"  
"Yes." 

His answer came so quickly that the tingling in her stomach intensified and spread in all directions. Slowly they stood up, and he took her hand and led her back to the path they had come. His hand was warm and she grabbed it a bit tightly. Sidney sensed she became nervous again and tried to soothe her.

“I love you.” he led her hand to his moth and kissed it.

When they had followed the path she suddenly stopped and pulled him to her. She smiled and he saw her cheeks glowing in the light of the setting sun. Gently he stroked the heated skin and leaned closer, but she turned away from him a little and pulled him between the dunes.

"Charlotte..."  
"Shh."  
"Where are you taking me?"  
"Wait and see." she explained and pulled him closer.

In a hidden hollow between two dunes she stopped, took the blanket from him and spread it on the sand. She stood there for a moment, trying to calm her breath. Maybe it had not been such a good idea after all. Here. Even it was a secluded and secret place… maybe she would prefer a more private place after all…But his hands already found her waist and he turned her towards him, without another word he kissed her. And as if he had unleashed a deep power, she opened her mouth and captured his. The kiss was wild and heated. His hands stroked up and down her back and his fingers clawed into her hair. Charlotte could hardly feel her legs and pressed her whole body against him. He reached around her and put his hand on her lower back.

She wanted to tease him and pressed against his hand, although she knew exactly that he wanted something else. In one quick movement he lifted her up, took a few steps and her legs wrapped around his waist. Oh, she felt him, firm and willing. She moaned and in the next moment she lay on her back and he lay on top of her. Heavy and strong and pressed between her legs, the button of his jeans almost hurt on her more sensitive parts.

She tugged on his collar and pulled him closer, her leg wrapped around his back and she pushed her pelvis tighter into his hips. Their kisses were wild and determined. He pushed his hand under her back and his hot fingers burned on her naked skin. Sidney kissed down her neck he wanted to feel more of her skin. She smelled so good. Only two buttons on the front of her dress, he almost tore them open, because the longing for her soft warmth was so all consuming.

Of course the bra flashed at him and he kissed the path in between with his wet mouth and tried annoyed to find the opening of the bra on her back. He sighed in frustration.

Her hands slipped off his collar and out of his hair, and he watched her aroused as she opened the front clasp. But before she could push the cups aside, he put his hand between the two soft hills and let the vibration of her rapid breathing pass into him.

He moaned leaned back and then pushed the fabric away with both hands. Her perfect little blooms stretched out towards him and he stroked them tenderly with his knuckles. But then lust took over and he placed his lips around one and with his hand he grabbed firmly the other.

Charlotte moved under him and put her hands back in his hair and one hand slid under his shirt.

"Charlotte." 

Sidney moaned and squeezed his eyes when he gave in to the feeling she gave him. In a wild dance, their tongues duelled and they pulled and pressed against each other until Sidney pulled back a little to stop it escalating. He leaned on one arm and looked at her. Her lips were swollen and her eyes looked at him so penetratingly that he pounced on her again in such wild way that she could hardly react.

He kissed every inch of her warm skin and her sounds were like music in his ears. She pulled her leg up and he thought he could take the hint and let his lips run over her cloth-covered belly. Her intoxicating scent wafting clouded his mind, but instead of taking the prize, he teased her by kissing along her legs first. He loved to tease her with his sweet torture.

"I wanted to wear..." she began but was interrupted by a groan as he bit gently into the inside of her thigh.  
"What?" his voice was hoarse and a warm shiver went up inside her as the cool air brushed over her heated body.

"No...." but there were his lips already on hers and she moaned in his mouth.

His fingers wandered under the fabric of her dress and both gasped at the sensation of his cool fingers on her heated skin.

"You want to destroy me," he mumbled between the kisses, he just could not stop kissing her nothing else demanded his attention but her lips.

"Seduce you... Mr Parker." She whispered into his ear and he rumbled and rolled his hips into hers.  
"Here in the… sand?"  
"Yes, I..." she pushed her head back as he made his way back down, and in anticipation of what was about to happen, she held her breath for a moment.

His fingers, his lips, oh and his tongue...she arched her back and grabbed his hand lying on her chest and squeezed it. She could already see the stars behind her eyelids and gasped at the next sensation. What he did to her! Oh and …there... and… 

Then the first drop hit her forehead. And the second. And within an instant, a thousand drops pelted down on her but Sidney did not stop his attention and it was so piercingly overwhelming. She was freezing cold and the heat of his body burned her at the same time.

"Oh Sidn..." 

Charlotte bit her lips as she tried to suppress a loud sound and he kissed her neck while she fell over the edge. She floated. Tenderly he caressed her while the waves kept crashing over her. Her head pressed into the blanket, her mouth a perfect O again, unable to even moan. 

As the rain stopped slightly she opened her heavy eyes, she saw stars on the sky and Sidney’s smiling face hovering above her. 

Her plan to seduce him had not quite worked, but she could not care less. He had transformed it into worshiping her and she was really not angry with him at all. Lightly dizzy she smiled at him as he suggested.

"We should stop for a moment and go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the night isn't over.


	22. slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night is not over yet....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Sidlotte.
> 
> And you lovely readers, who are waiting for them to finally...   
> ...IF you don't like that so much, you should skip the whole middle part.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Charlotte was still a little shaky on her feet and Sidney grabbed the blanket and put it around her shoulders. He pulled her close again and gave her a kiss. The kiss and his look promised her that the night was not over yet and she leaned against him as they made their way back through the dunes with quick steps. 

After a short distance the rain whipped them so hard in the face that Sidney pulled her even closer as they ran faster. Her chucks squeaked with every step and she was so cold that she already started to shiver. She slipped and almost fell if he hadn't held her and she laughed, it was so carefree. He suddenly stopped, grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her deeply. If it had not turned so cool, she would have taken him in back to the dunes immediately. 

Luckily Sidney held her by the hand and led her home as fast as possible, she probably would not have found the way in the weird rain. They took off their shoes in front of the door and Sidney did not hesitate for a moment to pull her into his arms and carry her upstairs to the bathroom. He put her down and ran water into the bathtub before he loosened her stiff fingers from the blanket. He peeled the woollen jacket from her arms and rubbed them dry with a towel before taking off her soaked dress. That too was something Charlotte had imagined more romantic, but since she had not expected the rain, her imaginary first time on the beach was over anyway. But she did not mind. Everything was fine the way it was.

Sidney just looked so incredibly sexy as he stood in front of her with dripping wet, tousled hair when he opened her bra. And because he could not resist her even in this freezing situation, he tenderly slid his fingers under the cups and embraced her breasts. She inhaled shakily and closed her eyes as he followed a path of warming kisses from her collarbone to her neck.

"I'm sorry," he muttered into her wet skin, though his smirk told her just the opposite,   
"I just can't resist you."

She giggled.

Then he pulled her to the bathtub, which was half-full in the meantime and indicated to her to get in. Charlotte got into the hot water and moaned with pleasure as she let herself slide in. She put her chin on her knees to warm herself, although she was already warm at the sight of him. Sidney finally took off his soaking sweater and the drops that ran down his chest from his hair seemed to get caught on every muscle on his body. He bent over as he freed himself from his wet jeans and finally stood there in front of her. Charlotte could not help but stare at him and think how beautiful he was.

"What more do you need?" he asked and looked amused, apparently she had missed something.

"Hmmm?" she was quite distracted by his lateral abs, which disappeared in a perfect V in his boxer briefs.

He bent over her small beauty case, opened it and asked   
"Shampoo and what else?" and then he paused, his jaw muscles tightened briefly and as he let his gaze wander from the bag to meet her eyes.

Charlotte knew what he had seen and believed at that moment that he was probably disappointed that she had not told him. Oh, crap! She did not want to have a bad mood between them. Embarrassed, she hid her face behind her knees and let her hair fall forward like a curtain. She had to think.

Sidney's head knew only one thought and for a moment he did not know how to react to this information… So she could have seduced him earlier on the beach when the stupid rain hit them. He had taken her words seriously, but had only understood that seduction meant that she wanted to seduce him to take care of her. Which did not take much, if he was honest.

He had not brought up the subject of contraception again after they had talked about it once and gone through the different methods, because he did not want her to feel pushed by him in any way. 

And she had been waiting to come to Sanditon, to come with him among the dunes he loved so much at sunset... in the open ... and her plan was supposed to be a gift for him, although it was supposed to be the other way around! How could she be real?

Charlotte felt his presence before he slipped into the tub behind her and immediately pulled her into his strong arms. Arms and legs wrapped around her petite body and she felt incredibly safe. She was still searching for words as he kissed her hair until he reached her ear.

"Please Charlotte." he muttered in a choked voice and her brain ended the sentence with, ‘always be honest with me’ or ‘don't hide something so important from me’ but instead he said.

"Never leave."

The feelings overwhelmed her, and she turned to him in the warm cage of his embrace. Instead of an answer, she kissed him lovingly.

"Are you warmed up?"  
"Yes." she muttered as he turned her again and picked out damp lumps of sand of her hair, before he lovingly washed it.

"I love your bathtub," she said after a while, pressing one of the buttons on the side, and immediately it gushed from the jets. She laughed briefly and shook her head.

"What?" Sidney asked while he stroked her arms and she pressed her back more into him.   
"Too much or… too big?" His tone had taken on the ambiguous tone she loved so much.

“No,” she looked back at him, “you are perfect.”

At some point Sidney got out of the tub and told Charlotte to take her time. She felt relaxed and luckily warm again. When the water got cold she snuggled up in one of the fluffy towels and dried herself. She first rubbed her wet hair dry before she applied lip balm and looked at herself in the mirror. Charlotte tied the towel in front of her breast. She was excited but relaxed, had goose bumps even though she was warm. Her heart was pounding in her throat, but was bursting with love. With this tingling in her stomach, she opened the door.

Sidney had come out of the bathroom and had turned on the heater to make the room warmer. Then he went downstairs and got a few things from the kitchen. He knew of course that Charlotte always needed a bottle of water next to the bed and after today and tonight, she might like a little snack. She was often hungry at the most impossible times. He took everything upstairs. Since she was still in the bathroom, he had plenty of time.  
After he had prepared an extra blanket for her, he lay down on the bed and waited. The rain had subsided and now pelted against the skylight in a steady rhythm. Sidney closed his eyes to relax.

Charlotte stopped briefly in the door of the bathroom and smiled at the sight presented to her. Not only had Sidney set up countless candles that conjured a mystical golden light, he had also converted a chair at the foot of the bed into a table and stacked all the goodies he could find on it. But the most beautiful sight was Sidney himself, lying on the bed with his eyes closed. His naked upper body shone in the light of the flickering candles. The dark path of short hair disappeared in the loosely tied towel around his hips. He was completely relaxed. She slowly walked over to him and sat down beside him at the height of his knees. With gentle fingers she touched his thigh and let it slowly slide up.

The light smile on his lips turned into this irresistible smile she fell in love with immediately and slowly he sat up. Charlotte's gaze swept over his contracting muscles, across his broad chest and even broader shoulders. Her eyes clung briefly on his full, soft lips and then quivered their journey to his eyes. His gaze was so intense.

He leaned closer and kissed her small shoulder and at the gentle touch of his lips her heart lifted and the tingling in her belly intensified. His long fingers wrapped around her waist as he leaned closer and kissed her shoulder slowly up to her neck. His other hand moved to her cheek and turned her face towards his waiting lips.

Sidney sipped and nibbled her lips and Charlotte leaned closer to him, his hand at her waist moved to her shoulder and holding her while she let herself sink into his arms. She opened her lips and welcomed his tongue. It slid slowly between her lips and stroked hers. They danced in a gentle rhythm. One hand she ran over his stubble and scratched it with her fingernails. She pushed her fingers into his hair. His lay warm on her cheek. So gently he devoted himself to her mouth that Charlotte was already out of breath and so incredibly aroused that she pulled him closer. But he did not let himself be misled and continued with his extensive kissing.

The crackling rain on the roof window relaxed them both even more, the rhythmic sound had something soothing about it. Only very lightly Sidney separated from her and searched for her gaze. She smiled and slowly sat up without breaking eye contact with him. He slipped further back and she crawled to him while he lay down. But instead of lying down next to him, she lay on top of Sidney. She wanted to feel him. Charlotte let her fingers and lips move across his chest in the same maddening slow rhythm, like he kissed her. He felt the same way she did and she just gently pressed her lips on his neck till she found his lips again.

He wrapped his arms around her and sat up with her in his arms so that she came to kneel between his legs. Sidney kept searching her gaze as he caressed her face with kisses. His fingers ran with light pressure over her neck and bare shoulder, over her arms, which were covered with goose bumps.

"Are you cold?" he whispered as he kissed the throbbing point under her ear and buried both his hands in her hair.  
"N...no..Oh" she stuttered as he minimally increased the pressure on her neck and she could not help herself and moved closer to him, breathing heavily.

Charlotte let her fingers slowly run over his stomach and chest. She kissed extensively every piece of skin she could reach. His arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her closer to him until she let her legs slide over his. They could feel each other even though the disturbing towels were between them. Charlotte leaned back slightly and untied the knot of her towel. Her breath went quickly as if it was the first time she had ever exposed herself to him. He embraced her with one of his strong arms and his fingers scooped her bosom as if it were a fragile vessel. He carefully kissed the soft, warm hill before taking care of the delicate tip. 

Time stretched and Charlotte clawed her hand into his hair. His stubble scratched over her heated skin, it felt so incredible good. He was so slow and gentle that it not only burned wherever he touched her, she was in flames everywhere. Sidney pushed slowly his hand on her upper back and let his lips wander to the other side. It tugged, no… almost hurts so deep inside her that she could not help herself and straddled him to feel more of him. 

Her hands clutched his face and she looked into his eyes. Her gaze was as pure as her feelings for him, and if there were ever any doubt, it would have fallen apart into nothing at that very moment. She loved him. And it was… they simply gave in to the closeness and the depth of their feelings. They expected nothing. Unconditionally responding to each other's emotions simply made their bodies feel their love for each other. This calmness was so unbelievably sensual that tears came to both their eyes. It was almost a celestial power that bound them together.

No words were needed.

His fingers painted small patterns on her back while she took his other hand and pressed it onto her thigh. She had always shown him what she wanted and who was he to deny her? Her hands slid back over his hot body and she kissed his shoulder, as the successive seduction of his fingers made her moan.

His fingers on her lower back slid under the soft fabric of the towel and scratched lightly across her bottom. The flame in her blazed ever more strongly and she felt infinitely loved and so, so warm.

Carefully his thumbs approached her glowing centre. A shower of lust ran through her body. As their gaze merged.

"I love you." She breathed when he started massaging her softly.

Every touch was like it was the first time. Their skin were so sensitive, they both seemed to feel even …just more. They looked deep into each other's eyes. Slowly they moved and their breath trembled in unison. The tingling overpowered her and her eyes almost closed, but she kept them open, she loved to look into his eyes. 

"Charlotte…" he whispered with hushed voice.  
"Hmmm?"  
"You are everything."

At first the feeling was very quiet, it became stronger and stronger at the slightest touch of his skin on hers. The tingling intensified. The feeling of the closest connection filled both completely, until it expanded into infinity.

She still shivered as he gently pushed her leg away from his and laid her down gently. Sidney leaned over her and caringly pushed a strand of hair from her face and stroked across her almost dry hair.

He bends down to her and lightly caressed her face with his nose, light like a feather. He breathed her in, a gentle kiss. Her skin glowed in the golden light of the candles, the scent of her mixed with the sounds they made, and it was so intoxicating he felt slightly dizzy.

"I love to look at you," he muttered as he ran his fingers down her body in an inimitable pattern. He was so attentive, so loving and Charlotte could have burst into tears just for his tenderness. 

Her breasts felt heavy as he lovingly took care of them one more time and covered her with many light kisses. He blew over the erect buds before gently enveloping them with his soft warm lips. 

"Feels so good."

She sighed as he slid his leg between hers and pressed himself against her. The arousal increases immeasurably. As she tugged at the towel, he raised his hips and she pushed it away from him.

"Sidney." Her voice a fragile sound.  
"Yes, my love."

The unspoken question only needed this look she gave him and the smile. He also smiled and looked at her lovingly.

She took his breath away. Lying there glowing beneath him. With flushed cheeks, incredible big dark eyes. Her beautiful skin glimmering in the candlelight. Like a gift that he had opened carefully to enjoy every second painfully until he could finally hold it in his hands. He was happy about the calmness they felt nothing wanted to be hasty. She should feel every moment as intensely as possible. Sidney wanted it to be wonderful for her. That was the reason why he could hover over her so reassuring. It was all about her, only about her. 

Charlotte. 

He would slowly introduce her, no matter what her body demanded or what she wanted to give him. That would not distract him. It would be a difficult undertaking he knew that when he looked into her almost black eyes. She was the consummate seduction.

The need to become one seemed to come out of every pore of her body and the strong grip of her arms around his neck showed that she was as moved as he was. Slowly, slowly! 

When she reached her peak, although he only caressed and kissed her, it was simply a wonderful feeling. Then when Sidney slowly sank into her and she shivered with lust. It was so amazing and so completing. There was nothing more beautiful.

His hands lay lightly on her cheeks as they melted into each other.

To slide into her felt so damn good that he had to pause for a moment to catch his breath before he could continue. The feelings whirled around in his body and mind, it was so overwhelmingly good, he could have screamed with happiness. Her warmth embraced him in undeniable longing, he hardly moved and yet he seemed to sink deeper. She desired him, more than that, she demanded him. Charlotte pulled at his hair and pushed her body against his and pressed his back closer to her. Their tongues danced gently together, no hurry, no urgency. Just being.

He dragged it out, so torturously slow. He withdrew and waited a moment. Their eyes searched each other and he slowly slid back into her. His glance and every touch was so intense, she shivered again before he had completely joined her.

It was not really a pain, and it felt so good, somehow it stung a bit, but also not really, it was, she was unable to think it was not possible to think, she could only feel. 

Sidney. Sidney. 

As he slowly slipped in closer, deeper, and she needed him even …just… more. There was pressure and a pull and it was so amazing and too much and yet not enough. Not out of pain, but out of too much... feeling, she whimpered.

"So sorry." 

He froze and he did not move for a very long moment. Charlotte felt his arm vibrate slightly under her fingers. He hovered on top of her, his heat an idea of touch.

"Does it hurt too much?"  
"No!" she smiled her incredible smile.

She moved her face towards him until they lips touched. She tried to show him that all was good, so overwhelming good. She felt soft and warm and more. Her tongue slides into his mouth and stroked tenderly over his until he made a throaty sound. Her hand slid over his back. She could feel every muscle in his shoulders, and his back. Sidney slid deeper and he pressed further into her. Charlotte gasped for air. It was so real, so true. They kissed endlessly tender, and everything felt smooth and warm. She hugged him until he continued to put his weight on and into her. Her legs opened even further and his hips met hers. Very slowly he pulled back and then came closer again. Once more. And again. Like waves rolling gently to the shore, he rolled his hips. Her arm still wrapped around his neck, she needed to keep contact with his mouth. The other hand pressed as hard as she could into his back, so that he lay on top of her even heavier. And immediately shoved himself even deeper. She heard him moan her name.

"This is so... ohh... never stop... please... Sidney."

Still supported on his left forearm so as not to crush her, he reached for her hand that had almost painfully dug in his hair, their intertwined fingers he laid aside next to her head. He loosened his lips slightly from hers and stroked her cheek lovingly with his thumb until her heavy eyes opened and their gaze locked again.

He stiffened briefly as she slowly pushed her hips forward. He dropped his lips back onto hers, and began a slow rhythmic dance with her tongue while he rolled his hips in the same maddening slow rhythm. It felt so good to be joined. The grip of their hands tightened, as if they had to hold each other to keep from crumbling. Charlotte tried to claw at his back, and presses him even tighter on her with her flat hand.

"I love you so damn much," she murmured.

Sidney swallowed a sob before he kissed lovingly her neck and nibbled and sipped at her neck, she heard him whisper her name. She would not let him get any further away from her and increased her pressure, she pushed her knee higher, it was now resting behind his arm, and her leg embraced his back. Her hand lay softly against his cheek until they could look each other in the eyes again.

Her whole body was soft. He felt himself sinking further and deeper into her and lifted himself slightly from her again to avoid crushing her. And although she was exhausted and her voice was very weak, she strengthened her hold on him. He looked for her eyes and kissed her tenderly on the tip of her nose and then on her sore kissed lips. But before he could completely detach himself, she opened her lips and what else could he do but give her what she asked for.

"Ahh" 

He was so tightly embraced, and his slow rhythm consumed her. Immersed in his scent and his warmth filling every pore, she felt the deep tingling sensation coming from her core and at the same time in her little toe, making its way through her body. The warm wave was already carrying her away when he somehow sank even closer and filled her so that she gasped panting for air. Sidney could not stop. He rolled his hips and slowly pushed into her even more until she saw stars flashing. It became the bittersweet delicacy again, a glowing embers, which consumed her completely. She was wheezing his name. 

"Ohh Sidney. Sidney..." his name dropped from her lips like a mantra.

It was so much, so much tingling and emotion. It was so warm, so warm. Her body tried to rise up but its weight kept her down and it felt so beautiful, so real. She seemed to implode, to fly, his weight was holding her in the moment. The lightning burnt through her body like a hot sword. When he too suddenly stiffened and slowed down even more. He breathed heavily as he stopped for a moment. Than he searched hey eyes again. But Charlotte seemed to drift off into a faint as she sighed under him, and her gaze appeared to be somehow far away. Before she bent her head back in a silent scream.

"Breathe, my love." 

He whispered into her ear before he searched her lips again. His tongue entered the moist cave of her mouth and swirled around with hers, while he continued to glide into her in the same slow rhythm. 

"Stay with me."

That throaty sound...it was almost a scream that he seemed to push into her shoulder. It was so overwhelming. Everything was whirling. Little coloured dots dancing on a black field.

They shattered and became whole again.

They trembled and the waves of love still washed over them, as Sidney kissed her tear-stained cheeks and whispered into her skin. Charlotte was not able to understand it because the rushing in her ears was so loud, so loud. But she wanted to hear it and she was so overwhelmed with happiness and yet she sobbed when she opened her eyes and his face was so close. His forehead pressed against hers, his hard chest had detached from hers so she could breathe better. But he laid firm and heavy on her, and she wanted to stay that way forever.

Only after a while he pushed his arms under her and drew her towards him as he turned to his side. He threw the blanket over her and embraced her with his arms and legs. They looked at each other. The shadows of the candles danced across their faces. And Charlotte seemed so incredibly beautiful and relaxed. There was simply no other word for it.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiled and tears ran down her cheeks and she pulled his face until his lips met hers.

"Whole."


	23. In the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't go on as magically as in the last chapter, but Sidlotte still enjoy their time in Sanditon and get to hear some extraordinary news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, 
> 
> sorry it took me so long, but at the end of a story I always find it hard to say goodbye. 
> 
> I am sad but thankful for all your support!
> 
> Here now the penultimate chapter.

Unwilling to move Charlotte was glued to Sidney. She wanted to stay in this position forever. Her head was bedded on the curve of his upper arm, her hand lay on his heart and the colourless midday sun glittered through the skylight. She could not remember ever slept so well. Her legs were entangled with his. He smelled so good and sensual, everything was so warm and she snuggled even closer to him. 

"When would you like to get up?" he asked in a voice still hoarse from sleep his finger slightly caressed her arm, which lied on his body.  
"Never."

Sidney chuckled and pulled her a little closer.

"For how long do you want to stay like… this?" he asked further in a slightly teasing tone.  
"Forever."   
He moaned playfully and Charlotte raised her head and looked at him.

"Are you planning to get rid of me?" she narrowed her eyes in disbelief and if he had not known her so well, he might have thought she was really worried.

"No, just my arm's asleep after you've been lying in the same spot for hours." He laughed hoarsely and without further hesitation simply pulled her onto him and shook his arm excessively. 

The feeling of lying on his hard warm body made a shiver run through her. Charlotte sank further down on him.

"Mr Parker!" she scolded him with a grin. "I think you just wanted to get me up here."   
"Me?" he asked innocently, "I would never..." 

Charlotte gave him smirking a little kiss.

"That you can only think something like that about me!" he pretended shocked, but he already wrapped his arms around her and pressed her lower back more firmly to his body. Before he painted small innocent circles on her back with light fingers of his other hand.

"Mr Parker!"   
"What?"  
"You are obviously... insatiable!" she giggled as he slowly rolled on top of her.  
"This is all your fault." he gave a slight shrug to consider and pressed a kiss on her neck.  
"More yours and your talent..." she took a deep breath and avoided his gaze,   
"What is it?" he touched lightly her chin and forced her to look at him.

She bite her lip and asked the question which was on her mind.

"Was it always like… last night?"  
"No."

He looked at her with a very serious expression.   
"Just with you." 

Charlotte put her hands on his cheeks and they lost each other in their eyes for a moment.

"I told you, I never was in love before." he whispered, his face full of emotion.

She ran her thumb over his lips, her breath hitched by the honesty in his eyes and voice.  
"I am overwhelmed by you."

And his expression made her nod slowly, cause she felt the same and she understood what he wanted to say. Charlotte leaned up and kissed him gently on his warm lips.

"Just hold me." She breathed shakily and tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled him to her and he breathed into her neck. “I love you.”

Her fingers caressed softly his face as she kissed him again. Sidney than rolled them over so they could face each other and pulled her into his arms. As he kissed her head, she whispered “I love you too” in the heated skin on his neck while she let her leg slide between his. She kissed his neck and demanded breathlessly.

"Come closer."  
"You are an insatiable mystical creature, Miss Heywood." He teased to lighten the mood, and stroked lightly her face. Laughing she declared. 

"You’re not close enough."  
"Opinionated... commanding... hmmm?" 

Commanded from the house by his sister, Tom wandered around the garden until Mary followed him. For the love of the children he had stayed overnight and had set up a mattress camp with them in their room. They played camping and then fell asleep on a pile of pillows. One thing he had promised them for years but never did. A lonely tear rolled down his cheek. How they woke up warm and sleepy knotted together and the children tickled him awake was one of the most beautiful things he had ever experienced. Their happy faces and their cheerful laughter lay on his broken heart like a warm, yet stinging and burning ointment. Tom realized at that very moment that he had taken that away from them. He sobbed briefly and turned away from Mary as she came to him with a hot cup of tea. He was not allowed to burden her with his self-pity she did not deserve it.   
He would do anything to make her happy again. He hoped fervently that she would forgive him one day, but doubted it would be soon.

Driven by hunger Sidney and Charlotte later ran down to the beach and ate at a rocky beach. It was one of his favourite spots, and she loved the rough beauty of the coves. He showed her the family home, which was now the ‘Parker Hotel’ above the cliffs, an old bookshop she knew she would spend most of her time in the future and the old town of Sanditon until, in another cloudburst, they run in a house niche to keep safe from the rain. Sidney wrapped his arms around her shoulders and stroked her cheek with his nose.

"Don't look, but we're being watched," he declared mysteriously.  
"Oh, no." Charlotte broke away from him immediately.  
"My Love, it's already too late." he pulled her back in “He took photos I am sure.”  
"One of your fans?"   
"I don't know," he glanced at the passer-by who had embarrassingly put his phone away.   
"That means everyone will knows our secret?" Charlotte looked startled and buried her face on his shoulder. "We didn't keep that secret very long."

"I don't mind" he kissed her cheek. "I just didn't want that bitch to know and kind of drag you down in the mud."   
"I know" she smiled at him.   
"I don't care if the whole world knows, as long as it's the truth."   
"Do you think he knows the truth?" she asked smiling, looking curios toward the young man.  
"Shall we ask him?" he smiled.   
Surprised, Charlotte looked at him as he already pulled her in that direction.

Josh Mules was a huge Sidney Parker fan since he had first seen him as an agent in the cinema. It was no pure coincidence that he had landed in Sanditon, he wanted to see the birthplace of his favourite actor and was extremely happy that his grandmother was here on a health cure. Seeing his idol in the city with his arm wrapped around the shoulder of a beautiful girl just made him stare at them wordlessly. He was ashamed of having taken a photo, but he wanted to hold on to this picture, nobody else would believe him. When the two of them came up to him, he panicked slightly that he would rightly be scolded for disturbing his privacy. But instead of a grim celebrity he met Sidney Parker, a friendly down-to-earth guy who gave him an autograph and made a selfie with him. And instead of being forced to delete the picture, he even got a present.

Laughing, the couple ran home a bit later and since they were again completely soaked and freezing, they tore off their clothes on the way to the bathroom. They immediately jumped into the shower. The hot water made Charlotte groan and as she dropped her head back to wet her hair, Sidney embraced her from behind and kissed her shoulder. And after he had lovingly washed her hair again, she turned to him and looked in his beautiful face, while the hot water splashed down on him. Charlotte ran her finger across his chest and abs, and before she could glide any lower he turned around. She let her hands gently run over his back while she soaped him.   
Sidney loved how it felt when her fingers trailed over his head and neck and down over his shoulders. As the water washed away the foam, she kissed from his shoulder blades to his spine. There she followed the line surrounded by firm muscles with one finger and tenderly embraced his bottom. She scratched over it with her fingernails, just as he had done with her, and the mere thought of the magical night caused her to sigh with heavy emotions. She leaned against him and pressed her face between his shoulders.   
She trailed her fingers up and down his sides, and made him shiver, as she slowly moved her hands over his thighs, scratching over his hips to his belly. She hugged him tightly and kissed his back before she let her hands continue to move over his body. Charlotte pressed harder into his muscular chest and slowly let her fingers stroke lower again. Over his lateral muscles, which led where he was most sensitive. Sidney turned back to her and his almost black eyes and the small wrinkle between his brows showed her that he was as greedy for her touch as she was for his.   
Taking her face in both hands and kissing her longingly as if they had not been together all day. He showed her how much he longed for her. The night was too long ago and the need to become one again was so overwhelming that he could hardly control himself. Charlotte let her arms slide around his neck and pressed herself closer to him. He brushed her hair from her face and let his lips wander down her neck.   
"Sidney?"  
"Hmmm?" his fingers found every soft curve and he caressed them tenderly with his knuckles as he continued to kiss her neck down to her collarbone.  
"Please." she sighed in his hair as she pulled his head closer.   
"All what you want." He promised and licked the drops of warm water from her shoulder.

"Hold nothing back." 

Sidney broke away from her and she could have sworn his eyes became even darker. He swallowed, nodded and then said in a serious voice. 

"I see."

Doubtfully she looked at him and bit her lip in embarrassment. She would have loved to know what he was thinking, but already in the next moment he grabbed her and lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and gasped as he pressed her against the cold tiles. He devoured her mouth and only when he let his lips move along her jawline to the point under her ear to lick almost painfully at her pulse, she could confess to him breathlessly.

"I imagined this..."  
He growled into her soft skin and stroked her soft hills more impatiently.  
"When?" his breath hitched.  
"While you…were in my kitchen... after…" His lips find hers again.

He knew exactly which day she meant and overwhelmed he looked at her as he slowly put her back on her feet. Lightly disappointed she tried to formulate a question.

"What? Oh..." was all she could manage before he stopped her from thinking.

He sank to his knees and stroked her legs, kissed where his hands were not and took the time to consume her with relish. When she leaned on him trembling he stood and grabbed her as before, pressed himself against her and against the wall. 

It was a fire. It blazed and burned and devoured them both until they could no longer breathe. Granting a minimal distance, they loosened briefly to catch their breath, but then he caught their lips again, biting gently and not quite so gently. And suddenly his tongue slipped into their mouths and they danced the lovers' dance.

Sidney lifted her further up and held her as if she did weigh nothing with just one arm to caress her face lovingly with his other hand. When they were finally joined again, Charlotte moaned so loudly that he feared he had hurt her. He stopped immediately and searched her eyes. 

"Don't hold back, don't hold back.” 

Charlotte pleaded and lightly dizzy leaned her head on his shoulder. She only realized something around her, when it suddenly got a little chilly and the surrounding changed. He held her in his strong arms, as he sat down on the bed and it felt so wonderful, she breathed in shakily and clung to him even more. The drops of water drops rolled down her body and she shivered. As he run his hands up and down her back. A blink of an eye later she lay under him again in the soft fabric of the bed cloth. 

Sidney closed his eyes, just breathed and felt and listened to her beautiful sounds. He had to move slower, he wanted to feel every inch of her. She was perfect. So soft and tight that he had to breath her in, to believe she was real.  
It was just as intense and yet so different from the first time. They felt as if they were completely disintegrated and yet complete. It was so wonderful and surprising and she felt engulfed and almost unable to move and yet she wanted to reach out and never let go.

He intertwined their fingers and put his forehead on hers when it became too much and both of them breathed heavily.   
"Don’t stop." she huffed and he chuckled softly.  
"Don't want this to end yet....so."

But Charlotte refused to hear any of this and began to move slowly under him. She rolled her hips slightly and carefully. She pressed her breasts into his chest. Her lips searched his and their tongues made slowly love with each other, while he turned on his back and pulled her with him. The hands next to his head, he gave himself to her mercy but she knew none. 

"Charlotte."

They loved each other quietly and yet with passion. Her body wanted to rise up, but he held her hands firmly in his and locked his eyes with hers. She whimpered and he sighed deeply while the blazing fire distorted them in a glistening light.

"Well you two lovebirds." 

Arthur greeted the two of them when he came over for a very late dinner and although their little snack on the beach had not been so small, Charlotte felt like she was starving. She literally tore the vegetable curry from Arthur's hand and served it in irregular portions on three plates.

Charlotte sat down at the table and immediately started eating, when she felt the eyes of the brothers on her, she looked at them with embarrassment and said only shrugging her shoulders. "I'm hungry." 

Sidney had a silly grin on his face and Arthur slapped him on the shoulder laughing.   
"As long as you don't eat the plate sweetie."

They ate and drank and talked about their short day out in Sanditon, and Charlotte blushed slightly as her thoughts drifted to what they had been doing the rest of the day, and kept shovelling food into her mouth as if she had really almost starved to death.

"Love makes hungry." Arthur remarked with a grin, and then gave them a few details of how Mary was doing.

Mary, strangely enough, was doing really well. She was glad that Diana was at her side and supported her. They even thought seriously about Diana moving in with her for a while, especially to help her with the children. 

"We need to talk to Sidney." Diana said as she poured herself another glass of wine.  
"What do you mean?" said Mary, who could already feel the wine and decided to put her glass aside.  
"Well, he already owns the production company, with everything he's put into it." Diana said as if that was the explanation and Mary looked at her expectantly.  
"Pay Tom off and then you and Sidney can do it together." she shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal.  
"But I'm just a screenwriter."  
Diana reached across the table and took Mary's hand in hers.  
"I know, but I also know you've been doing Tom's job for years and Sidney will support you."

Mary smiled, yes, she knew that too. The idea of being officially named for the work she had been doing behind the scenes for years gave Mary a warm feeling in her chest. Maybe this was her chance.

"Do you really think I could do that?"  
"Yeah, sure! As soon as Sidney gets back, we'll talk to him." Diana nodded and shoved her wine aside as well. "And take him with you when you talk to Tom."

When Charlotte washed the plates and Sidney snuggled up behind her and embraced her with his arms, Arthur felt it was time for him to go. Sidney put his chin on Charlotte’s head and it seemed as if she belonged right there. They were like two pieces of a puzzle that complemented each other and Arthur had to wipe away his tears, as he was overwhelmed with happiness for his favourite sibling.

"Arthur, what’s wrong?" Sidney asked with concern and walked towards him, and was a bit confused as Arthur took him firmly in his arms.

"I'm only so happy for you... and you." he smiled at Charlotte.  
"Please tell me that you will do it on the beach..."  
"What?" Alarmed, Charlotte stared at him and thought, maybe someone had noticed them...in the dunes.  
"Well, if you..." he pointed his hand back and forth between them.  
"What are you trying to say, Arthur?" Sidney asked with a questioning look.  
"Well, I mean, if… You know, if it gets any more serious..." he smiled “You will do it on the beach, don’t you?”  
"Arthur!"

Shocked by what he had just implied, Charlotte dropped a plate into the sink and the water splashed on the floor. The men looked at her and she pretended not to notice and vigorously wiped the floor dry.

"Erm... yes... Arthur." Sidney glanced to the door and Arthur nodded and pointed with his index finger at his brother as if to say, ‘It's up to you’.

"Good night, you lovesick fools." 

Shaking his head, Sidney closed the door behind his brother and ran his fingers through his hair a bit nervously. He did not want to raise this subject now it was still to soon. And he was glad that Charlotte was also trying to ignore Arthur's hints.

Wrapped in warm blankets they sat on the terrace for a while and enjoyed the cool evening air. Charlotte enjoyed her place on his lap and cuddled closer to him. Her head rested on his shoulder and she drove through the stubble, which had become thicker and still felt incredibly good on her skin. She listened to the light scratching of her nails on his skin and he titled his face into her palm. To the sound of the distant roar of the waves down on the beach, he ran his fingers up and down her back. Smiling he lifted the mass of her curls and dug his hands below to run his fingers across her neck. Charlotte did the same and pressed a light kiss on his neck and he purred like a cat by a warm fireplace. 

"God, how I love your voice."  
He laughed for a moment and held her even closer.  
"Women will go crazy over this podcast," she said seriously, and he looked down at her.  
"If you don't like it," he put a finger on her mouth and stroked the shape light as a feather. "Then I won't do it," he shrugged and gave her a tiny kiss.

"Are you crazy?" she asked, acting outraged, "you read the most wonderful declarations of love!" She sat up to underline her point. "No one should miss that."

He laughed and pulled her back and tugged her head back under his chin and so they remained in their place until another cloudburst forced them to go back into the apartment.

As Arthur had promised them, he brought them their phones on Monday morning and stayed for breakfast, which was an early lunch for him.

"I thought you could never sleep that long?" he asked his brother as he sipped his tea.  
"That's because I'm totally relaxed." he grinned at Charlotte who grinned back just as silly.

"You should be."  
"Sure, after three days... erm...in total calm." he took Charlotte's hand and kissed her wrist.  
"I hope you can stay calm a little longer." Arthur said cryptically, taking another sip.  
"What do you mean, Arthur?"

Arthur looked at them alternately and then at the phones, which were forgotten on a small cupboard next to the table.

"What happened?" They both asked, as if from one mouth.  
"Ahem, yes... you can watch on your phones when I' m gone," he grinned.  
"So nothing bad?"  
"No." 

Arthur shook his head and then, somewhat jovially, listed a few trivial things.

"The movie is number one on the charts."  
They both smiled happily.  
"Your chemistry is highly praised and of course Georgiana's and Mary's work."  
They nodded in agreement. After all, they were both great.  
"The press does not yet know about the breakup and Tom's affair..."  
"For the sake of the children, I hope it stays that way."   
Sidney said worriedly, Charlotte squeezed his arm and asked Arthur to continue.  
"Well, the usual." 

He shrugged, but his gloating grin implied that this was not the whole story. Sidney looked at him with raised eyebrows and this expression on his face that made Arthur surrendered to his fate and explained with a somewhat gleeful grin.

"Eliza Campion has been arrested."


	24. A promised future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney are back in London. Reality and the future is waiting for them.
> 
> And we also get an insight into the lives of the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my lovely readers, 
> 
> finally the final chapter. 
> 
> It took me a while, but I wanted to do it properly.  
> And besides, I always get emotional at the end of a story and this one has really taken a grip on me. I had goose bumps when I wrote it, hope you get them too when you read it!!
> 
> Thank you for coming all the way here with me. For being there.
> 
> I love all your lovely comments and kudos.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my story.

Unfortunately, the last day in Sanditon flew by and although Charlotte understood that Sidney also had to take care of Mary and the things with Tom, she really had problems to let him go after they arrived at the apartment. She pressed herself against him as if he was going on a long trip and not just a few miles away to Bedford Place.

"You can come with me, my love."  
Sidney pressed a kiss on her hair and tightening his arms around her.

"No, I've got lines to learn for tomorrow."  
"I thought you already know everything." he chuckled.  
"I've forgotten everything." She murmured into his chest.  
"Why?" He guessed what she would answer and his heart rose as she admitted.  
"You distracted me..."

"You distracted me, too."

He grinned and stroked her face lightly with his stubble. It felt so good, she purred like a cat and craned up to him. Her mouth thirsted for a kiss. 

Sidney leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. She moaned and said in a somewhat reproachful tone, 

"More like brain off. All erased, all lost." 

"I would say we were both... erm... how shall I put it....lost…in each other."

Charlotte threw her head back as she burst into a roar of laughter and the feeling that spread across Sidney's chest could not be described other than with pure joy. It tickled in his eyes, he wanted to be able to evoke that laughter from her forever. Sidney really adored her. Nevertheless, he reached for her in a stormy kiss and buried his hand in her hair, the other one he shoved into the back of her jeans and grabbed her tightly.

Her fingers tugged at his hair and the other found her way under his t-shirt. They stroked gently over every muscle, every crease she had felt under her tongue a few hours before. Oh, how she longed for him. Just a moment later he lifted her up. He sat her down on the kitchen counter and let his lips wander over her body in a wild dance. Luckily, she was wearing a wide neckline t-shirt and he could push it off her shoulders to get to her soft hills, which were already stretching out to him expectantly. Luckily, she was wearing that bra again, which opened at the front, and as soon as that happened, his hungry lips enclosed one of her perfect little blooms.

“Oh …I love you so,” she moaned.

When she wanted to take off his T-shirt, he refused to let go of her and literally devoured her with his mouth. Her neck, her cleavage, her shoulders. He kissed her wildly and demandingly. His hands were everywhere and she writhed under his all-burning touch. Until she whimpered slightly. 

"Sidney... I want..."

He pressed her firmly to his body as he captured her mouth again. Charlotte's legs were wrapped around his hips with an iron grip, and she clawed her nails into his hot skin. He should come closer. Closer. She needed him closer. And he wanted her, too, she felt it, with this incredible pressure waiting for him. She sighed in his mouth as he softened the kiss and she was a boneless creature in his hands. Charlotte felt soft, like she was molten. He held her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly over her eyes and cheeks, up to her ear.

"I am lost in you."

She embraced him with her hands and nestled under his chin. They lingered in this position for what felt like an eternity. Before Charlotte could finally found her brain again.

"You must go."  
"I know."  
"I don't want you to go."  
"Neither do I."  
"But you'll be back soon."  
"And you have to learn your lines."  
"Yes."

Sidney let his fingers gently slide over her arms. He carefully fastened her bra so he would not touch her with his knuckles. Then he pushed her shirt back over her shoulder and lifted her off the counter. With big heavy eyes she looked at him as he went into the bedroom and came back with her textbook under his arm. Without a word he took her hand and pulled her with him.

Mary was so pleased to see Sidney come with Charlotte. It was about time he was finally going to be happy. The way they looked at each other and stole some secret touches showed her that they were trying to be thoughtful and she took them even more into her heart. When Charlotte then went to Diana and the children in the garden, she played with them first before she sat down on one of Mary's comfortable garden chairs to learn her lines.

Sidney and Mary then delved into the business papers and he saw no problem in paying Tom off.

"Are you sure?" he asked Mary worried, hoping she had not acted rashly.  
"I have it all worked out," she said business-wise, "I mean, if you'd rather work with me than with Tom," she looked at him.  
"Of course, Mary, I know you were the driving force anyway. He was just providing the ideas."  
"That's right." She smiled again and Sidney was glad he recognised the sparkle in her eyes again, "I'd like to specialise a little more and not do everything, like he did." she said.

And unlike Tom, who only had ideas and threw them around and changed them here and there in leaps and bounds, Mary had worked out a concept. Sidney proudly skimmed through the papers and the lists and the schedules.

"Just romance?" he noticed with a playful moan.  
"There will be other things, but you understand what I mean, don't you?"  
"Yeah, sure, I like it a lot."  
"All right, well, I'll let Tom know..."  
"Wait Mary," Sidney held her arm for a second, "you don't have to do this, and I’ll work it out with him."  
"Oh Sidney that would be wonderful. Thank you."  
"Of course."

They talked a little more and Sidney told Mary that he and Charlotte had decided to move to Sanditon which, because of its proximity to London, gave her enough freedom to go to auditions and castings at any time. 

"She could stay here then, if she wanted to."  
"Oh, well... she has her flat...", Sidney had not thought of that yet, after all, he certainly had no intention of narrowing her.  
That was what he told her later. But her answer made him shake his head with a disbelieving smile. Of course it was also meant ambiguously, but for him it also seemed to be her honest opinion about their relationship.

“Maybe I want to be narrowed by you.”

"Miss Heywood!" he scolded her with a smile, "Are you trying to seduce me?"  
"Never!"  
"Ahh." He pulled her to him and still smiling, they kissed. But since they were standing in Mary's kitchen, they left it at that.

Josh Mules was happy. Not only had he met his favourite star in person and talked to him completely relaxed as if he were one of his buddies. No, he had even received permission to post the picture and the selfie if he waited a few days. Josh had waited two weeks and then posted the pictures. The response and questions were overwhelming. He had more likes within an hour than he had in the whole year before. Even Charlotte Heywood and Sidney Parker's accounts did. 

He was so happy, that he let himself be talked into going to the cinema with his girlfriend again. Even if it was a bit too romantic for him, 'Enemy Love' gave him some ideas how to make his girlfriend happy. He would definitely try the boat trip. And also the ambience of the hut, seemed to fascinate the ladies. Josh decided to organize something in a hut. To be seduced in front of the fireplace seemed to be a secret dream of the women, when he looked around in the cinema. Maybe they would be lucky enough to have one in their future apartment.

Tom stood in his apartment, which Eliza had apparently smashed to pieces in rage four weeks ago. He moaned at the sight. Because not only does he have a lot of work to do now to dispose of all the garbage, but it was also a symbol of his present condition. Everything was broken.

His relationship with his children was fragile, because he had told them that he was to blame for the separation. Mary had already hired a lawyer and filed for divorce. It would probably take months before she could forgive him, if ever. Sidney had taken over the company with Mary. But he was quite happy about that, because after all he did not want to work with anyone from the industry, at first anyway. 

Now that it gradually came out with whom she had played her games. And she had done it with almost anybody, if he thought about it properly. Directors, producers, as well with the up-and-coming fashion designer who always dressed her, photographers, presenters, actors, models. The list went on. Added to this was tax evasion. She had blackmailed people for money and jobs. Almost everything could be proven. She had kept her correspondence to increase her pressure and her supposed cleverness was now blowing up in her face. She had cheated on him too. Not only with the man then, but she had recorded conversations to blackmail him later. Eliza had never loved him.

It was an absolute disaster.

The days in Bedford Place after the breakup, Mary had threatened him with her reproaches it would happen. And she was right, she always was. 

"Karma. It's all coming back to me."

Tom said it out loud. He closed his eyes, remembering the pain on Mary's face. The betrayal. The future he had set on fire and let burn to the ground. He was such an asshole. His eyes were wandering over the broken mirrors, picture frames, chairs, and dishes. He slid down the door and let the tears flow. He sobbed deeply and cried for almost two hours until his phone rang. His children. For them he had to pull himself together and do something. Something right.

Ivy Symnock had apparently done everything right. Through Andrew Babington he now had a few potential new clients. He was supposed to create all press pictures for the ‘Babington Charity Foundation’ and some high society people asked him to do the same for them. In the next few days he had a job interview with Babington's friend Frank Crowe, the publisher of the two top magazines! 

He also had an exclusive interview about Eliza Campion with Jonathan Smith the 'King of the Mornings', but this was subject to strict conditions, as the investigation against her should not be affected. But fortunately he was an important witness, so he could relieve some of his guilt. And when the investigation was over, he started working on the book.

Thanks to Esther Babington he had landed a highly lucrative contract for a book publication. She also helped him to write it, she was now a children's author, but she still knew more about the craft.

"The Secret Game of Eliza C." 

Was still in the top 10-bestseller list almost three years later. There were always new editions, and even a separate illustrated book, which proceeds were donated to Babington's Foundation.

Frank Crowe had to wait exactly these three years to get the requested exclusive interview and pictures of his most popular columnist and ex-Hollywood star Sidney Parker. And the best thing was that on the cover of the men's magazine was his face and in it was his view of things. Not only about his relationship but also about the industry and his quieter life as a producer. That the collaboration with his ex-sister-in-law was great, who won one award after another, and that he was incredibly proud of Georgiana Lambe, the young director of 'Enemy Love', who was now nominated for the desired directing Oscar. But of course the best thing about the film at that time was that he met Charlotte Heywood.

Charlotte beamed from the cover of the sister magazine and next to her beautiful portrait was her new name. She was also a great conversationalist, down-to-earth, honest and really funny. 

The big interview was divided into both magazines, so that real fans of 'Sidlotte' had to buy both. It had been a great move! The magazines were selling like hotcakes. People were tearing them out of his hands. All the red numbers had magically disappeared. The edition had meanwhile doubled. They even had to go into reprint! 

This had never happened before in the history of his publishing house. Crowe had the magazine covers framed in oversized format and had them hung up in his office. His girlfriend, yes, he was able to admit it publicly by now, was enthusiastic about the wedding on the beach. It was a hint he understood of course, especially after she had caught the bridal bouquet. But he doubted whether this was really a coincidence, because after all she had been the bride's maid of honour. Yes, fate sometimes had strange ways…. that his young lover from Bath, happened to be Charlotte's best friend... that was more than coincidence. 

Now Clara sat in front of him and waited for him to finish the phone call so they could order their lunch. She smiled from ear to ear as she leafed through the magazine for the hundredth time. She was so unspeakably happy for her friend, whose romantic heart had found her soul mate.

The magazines in question threw Eliza Campion against the wall of her cell. She exploded!  
Her old ‘friend’ Lydia had managed to get her revenge by sending her both magazines to prison. That this ill-looking country bumpkin gets this hot guy is an absolute travesty! Oh so romantic, a wedding on the beach. Barefoot. They looked so happy, Eliza almost choked on the lump of bliss in her throat. 

She screamed and raved in her cell until the young woman with whom she shared the cell looked at her angrily. Eliza stopped immediately and bent over for the magazines. She brushed it clean and gave it to her cellmate, who was also called 'Mary Mary' and who wanted to be addressed in the same way.

"You throw my property around again and you'll clean my shoes, Blondie."  
"Yeah, Mary Mary." returned Eliza bashfully.  
"With your tongue."  
'Oh, no,' Eliza thought, 'not again.'

Mary Mary then leaned back in her bed and flipped through the magazines until she arrived at the best and most romantic page. The couple in love smiled at each other as if they were all alone in the world. They were both so beautiful.

Why, as the biggest fan of "Enemy Love", did she have to share a cell with this witch? What did fate wanted to tell her? 

"Now get out of my sight, bitch."

And when she heard the quiet groans of Eliza, she knew why they were stuck here together, she was Eliza's punishment. 

"Are you listening?"  
"Yes."  
"What?"  
"Yes, I am, Mary Mary."  
"Great!"

And after that Mary Mary reread the whole interview and the accompanying text. For the seventeenth time, if she had counted correctly. And she read it with joy and love and appreciation.

And she read it loud and clear.

"What do you think of the interview?" Sidney asked as he came back from a meeting with Arthur. He wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her neck. She sighed happily and turned in his arms and kissed him.

"Well, I can't believe it's been 12 weeks already, Mr Parker."

He knew what she wanted and nodded in amusement.

"Actually,” he cleared his throat “it's twelve weeks, three days…" he looked at his watch,  
"... four hours and twenty-eight minutes." he gave her a short kiss, "Mrs Parker."

Her smile has always been something special. And since that day 12 weeks ago, it was even more somehow. It touched this spot in his heart. Deeply. He leaned forward and caught her lips. Lightly and lovingly he stroked his lips over hers and it was so soft and warm. Her arms wrapped around his body and she opened her lips and let his tongue play with hers with love. Her face was enclosed in his big warm hands and he leaned her head back to deepen the kiss. He touched something inside her and the desire made her groan.

Her arms wrapped around his neck again so tightly. Oh, she needed him. It had been too long. She pressed herself against him and he moaned in response. Sidney let his stubble run over her sensitive skin on her neck and as he gently kissed the spot under her ear, she trembled. 

"Charlotte..."  
She made a sound that expressed her displeasure and he giggled in her neck.  
"Mrs Parker."  
"Yes, Mr Parker?" She had closed her eyes and enjoyed the echo of his lips against her skin.  
"I brought food."

Her eyes were sparkling. 

"Why didn't you say so?"

Charlotte turned away from him and reached for Arthur's bag. It smelled of his vegetable curry and her mouth watered. She had no idea how hungry she was. During the renovation, she must have forgotten all about it. 

But Sidney did not let her go that easily, he pulled her back to him and claimed her mouth again. The kiss made her want more as always and he could hardly wait to show his wife how much he loved her.

After dinner his phone rang and he moaned annoyed when he saw that it was Tom again. Charlotte nodded at him and let him talk to his brother in his office in private. He had probably heard the news about Mary and was done with the world again.

"Tom." Sidney sat down in a chair by the table and, during the phone call, began sorting papers.  
"Why did she do that?" cried Tom and sobbed deeply. 

It hurt Sidney in his soul to know his brother was suffering so much, but it was his own entire fault. Not just the destruction of the family and betraying Mary. He had later found strange ways to get Mary's attention. Even a drunken accident two years ago was among them. He was desperate that he had let go of the woman of his life. But Mary had not let him charm her again and moved on. She was joyful again.

"Tom," finally Sidney decided to interrupt his brother. "Tom. I know it hurts, but you threw away your family when you had that affair with Eliza."  
"I know," he cried.  
"She didn't forgive you, and apparently she never will."  
"I know that, too, brother." Tom whined.  
Sidney really had no idea what else to say.

"How is she?"  
"Tom, I don't know..."  
"Please tell me he treats her better than I did."  
"Yes, he does."  
"Good, good. I'm glad." There was a pause and Sidney's eyes started to tingle, hoping but knowing this will never happen to him.

"I still love her." Tom whispered.  
"That's why you have to let her go." Sidney replied, he wished he could have comforted Tom better.  
"I know, I know... is she... is she...?" Tom could not ask the question, but Sidney knew what he needed.  
"Yes, Tom. Mary's happy again."

Moved after the conversation, which had again lasted far too long, he finally went upstairs. Charlotte sat in bed and read as he entered and smiling, she stood up and hugged him.

"Is he all right?"  
"Yes." he kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be right there." he smiled and disappeared into the bathroom.

The nights were really cold by now. Sometimes the ceiling window froze and creaked, but the sight of the white crystal flowers in the morning was still beautiful. Charlotte loved it. 

Now she lay on her back and looked up. The moon stood high and full in the sky and made the room shimmer silvery. She turned on her side and waited for Sidney.

When her husband slipped into bed behind his wife a short while later, she flinched briefly as his cold fingers wrapped around her body. 

"Charlotte!" he moaned as she pressed her naked back against his chest. She made a sound that showed him she was most displeased.  
"Mrs Parker!"  
"Hello Mr Parker." she muttered and turned her head back to him.

He leaned against her and sipped softly on her lower lip. A tender kiss. Tugging on her smooth upper lip...following the contours of her lips terribly slowly with his tongue. She opened her lips and let him in. He tasted her. In a slow rhythm, he wrapped his tongue around hers. They lingered like this. Longing.  
As he pushed up on one arm he leaned over her a little more and deepened the kiss. She sighed into his mouth it was just too beautiful. Tingling all over. Pressing closer to her, he lay down again in his place behind her.

"Mrs Parker!" his voice had the pretended lecturing tone of a teacher and as she was not able to suppress the shudder that went through her body, she just pressed herself harder against him. 

"Oh damn!" he growled in her ear when he noticed she was completely naked, and started kissing her neck.

Her pearly white shoulders glowed in the clear moonlight that came in through the skylight. From the perfect round he let his mouth run over her shoulder blades. His fingers stroked her arm tenderly. Sidney let his fingernails gently slide up again. Light as a feather he stroked her collarbone. His hunger for her briefly gained the upper hand and he let his hot mouth wander wildly over her neck. His other hand slid under her head and turned her towards him. The all-consuming kiss was passionate and deep. She tugged at his lower lip until Sidney growled.

"Hmm."

Charlotte grabbed his thigh behind her and let her hand wander up to the waistband of his boxer shorts. Sidney leaned up and freed himself from it in a blink of an eye and immediately let his lips slide back over the delicate skin of her neck. His searching fingers ran across her neck and throat and the soft spot underneath. He gently scraped his fingernails across her collarbones. Slowly she became restless and she bent towards his searching fingers.

Carefully like a light breeze in the morning they slid down and found her perfect plump hills. The delicate tips were now even more sensitive. The touch of his thumb chased a jolt through her as he gently stroked it and she bowed her head back. And though her curls tickled him, he changed nothing. He just became slower.  
Nibbling her ear, licking the salty skin underneath, sucking gently on her pulse. This made her moan and pushing her hips against him. Charlotte arched her back. She wanted him closer. Closer.

"Oh, what are you doing to me?"

His raspy voice tickling her shoulder. There was that beauty mark that had always cried out for his lips. Creamy skin shimmered silvery. Often the moon was a silent witness while they made love. Her slight whimpering and the rasping of his stubble were the only sounds. But she also heard his breath becoming faster as his hand sank deeper. Wandered over her swollen belly and lingered. 

"I love you both so much."

Charlotte sighed with delight. Of course she was aware that he was teasing her, but he just loved it too much when she was desperately writhing under or in front of him. 

She reached for his hand on her tummy and pushed it deeper until she could finally feel him on her silky walls. The slow, steady rhythm of his fingers already gave a hint of the first gentle wave, which she carried away calmly the next moment.

Sidney clawed his other hand into her hair and pulled her head back lightly he had to taste her lips again. Lovely he plundered her mouth, caressed her palate lightly. Sucked her tongue into his mouth and fondled its underside, before he moved a little away from her, which earned him a protesting sound.

Nevertheless, he detached himself from her so far that they could look at each other. Through the light of the skylight, her eyes shone like stars. He shook his head, overwhelmed by the beautiful sight. But they said nothing. Her small hand lay against his cheek, then she let her thumb slide over his lower lip. They kissed while he lay back again. 

Love whispered quietly into her burning skin, he let them melt into each other. And she took him in, and his words in her heart. The heavy tenderness of his gentle strokes made the blood rush in her ears. Or was it his breath that tickled her neck? His soft panting. She could feel him everywhere. They made love very deeply. Over and over again.

Warmth. So much warmth. He imprinted himself into her soul.

He shoved his hand in her hair under her neck and gently closed his now warm fingers around her plump breast. Symbol of the life that was growing in her.

Irregular was her breathing. Knowing that she was about to fall apart in his arms almost made him pause. Charlotte lost herself in the pulsing storm of pure pleasure that rolled over her body. She whimpered his name. And pressed her intertwined fingers to her chest. Her heart pounded in unison with his breath.

Wait! Calm. Delay the warm waves. Wait. Wait. And....

It was not long before she felt the pressure of his chest against her back. Sidney strengthened his embrace. Pressing her against his pounding heart. Charlotte felt his lips against her neck and heard him moan softly her name. She loved this moment when he lost himself in her. The grip around her swollen body became tighter. His breath came hot and fast against her neck.

It felt so good. He gasped her name. Until they both found their salvation in the silver light of the moon.

They always loved each other as they read poetic love letters. With an intensity, so much feeling and loveliness. Every kiss was a word, every touch a sentence of the feelings they had for each other. They searched for the right meaning for each tender finger that stroked their bodies. Sidney brought her intertwined fingers to his lips and gently pressed a kiss on her wrist. Charlotte pulled both hands back and laid them gently on her middle.

"Thank you, Mr Parker."  
"For what?"  
"For loving me."

Later her head was bedded on his chest. Charlotte's eyes glimmered in the after glow. Sidney stroked her silky curls with his fingers and his other hand lay protectively and warm on her swollen belly. The unborn life pressed lightly against his hand. 

"You still haven't answered."  
"Hmmm?"  
"Mrs Parker," he began in an amused tone "have you read the interview?"  
"Sure."  
"Favourite line?"  
"Well, the last, Mr Parker."  
"Ahh." he smiled happily, full of love.

She lifted up, leaned over him and looked into his eyes. Slowly he reached out for her and their lips touched in a deep, soul-embracing kiss. Her heart longed for his words.

"Say it again."  
Her heart swelled to an immeasurable size, because she knew it was true for both of them.

"The happiness in your eyes makes me the happiest."


End file.
